Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Hedgecutter]

Yesterday evening in Dyce, the car park outside of the Costcutter was full, so I get out of the car that she is driving at the red lights and she says "I'll drive on and come back for you once I see a space".  I don't have my phone with me.  She knows this, as she was the very one who said "you don't need it" when we were leaving the house.

I get the booze from the shop and head outside after I'd been in for ~10 mins.  Free spaces in the car park outside the door, but no car.  I stand there watching the traffic in both directions for about 10 mins in the dark, in the cold and in the drizzle with awkward poly bags full of bottles cutting into my hands.  A police car with its sirens turned on passes by, and I consider that she might be dead.  I choose not to believe that, but there's niggling doubt. 

Another ~10 mins go by.  Still nothing.  I consider that she may have driven past, seen no spaces and decided to park at the train station or bank car park nearby.  I wander along and check both.  No sign at all.  I return to the shop area to see that there are still spaces available, but no f***ing car.  Running out of options, I decide to walk in the complete opposite direction to home, only to eventually find her parked up on the pavement of a side road about 300m from the shop.  I open the door and hear her say "where have you been?!".  Needless to say, I was not amused.  

Edited December 22, 2020 by Hedgecutter

[coprolite]

53 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

oddly popular in Japan, all kinds of mad flavours.

I don't mind a visit to B&M and the like but its usually just to buy my weight in birdseed, some of the stuff other punters are buying seems mad though.

 

My sister went to Japan and brought me back a pink kit kat (and a wee bottle of sake). I haven't eaten it yet. 

[Bairnardo]

Unsure how common this one will he but I suspect reasonably so, to some degree or another.

Just under the surface jealousy. Local delivery lassie goes to the same gym as me. She mentioned this to my wife. I didnt because it literally doesnt matter. I have spoken to the lassie once, in order to avoid an awkward "I know you from somewhere" type moment.

Now the wife is giving it "aw look it's your wee burd at the door" type chat. Shes sort of trying to put it across jokingly, but theres an undercurrent there, and tbqh, it leaves me seething.

This type of thing in general boils my piss.

[Hedgecutter]

19 minutes ago, coprolite said:

My sister went to Japan and brought me back a pink kit kat (and a wee bottle of sake). I haven't eaten it yet. 

I brought back a parrot that spoke Japanese and wound my German teacher up to no end when I secretly brought it into class in a bag.

[coprolite]

5 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

I brought back a parrot that spoke Japanese and wound my German teacher up to no end when I secretly brought it into class in a bag.

Why did that wind up your German teacher? 

[Chicken Wing]

I brought back a parrot that spoke Japanese and wound my German teacher up to no end when I secretly brought it into class in a bag.

What is the Japanese word for "footering"?

 

[Hedgecutter]

3 minutes ago, coprolite said:

Why did that wind up your German teacher? 

Well, it kept shouting things in Japanese in the middle of class for a start.

2 minutes ago, Chicken Wing said:

What is the Japanese word for "footering"?

Sowasowa (そわそわ)

[coprolite]

2 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Well, it kept shouting things in Japanese in the middle of class for a start.

Sowasowa (そわそわ)

I thought that was the set up for a joke. 

Apparently not

[Rugster]

24 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Unsure how common this one will he but I suspect reasonably so, to some degree or another.

Just under the surface jealousy. Local delivery lassie goes to the same gym as me. She mentioned this to my wife. I didnt because it literally doesnt matter. I have spoken to the lassie once, in order to avoid an awkward "I know you from somewhere" type moment.

Now the wife is giving it "aw look it's your wee burd at the door" type chat. Shes sort of trying to put it across jokingly, but theres an undercurrent there, and tbqh, it leaves me seething.

This type of thing in general boils my piss.

Might as well get her pumped then. 

[Bairnardo]

9 minutes ago, Rugster said:

Might as well get her pumped then. 

Absolutely a wid, but unfortunately I can tell you from years of bitter experience, not as many folk want to jump into bed with me as the wife seems to think

[TheScarf]

51 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Unsure how common this one will he but I suspect reasonably so, to some degree or another.

Just under the surface jealousy. Local delivery lassie goes to the same gym as me. She mentioned this to my wife. I didnt because it literally doesnt matter. I have spoken to the lassie once, in order to avoid an awkward "I know you from somewhere" type moment.

Now the wife is giving it "aw look it's your wee burd at the door" type chat. Shes sort of trying to put it across jokingly, but theres an undercurrent there, and tbqh, it leaves me seething.

This type of thing in general boils my piss.

The wife does that to me too.  Say 'alright?' in the supermarket to a lassie I worked with in previous job, saw her again in the pub recently and the wife was giving it the 'there's your bird' chat.

Horrendous patter.

[Bairnardo]

11 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

The wife does that to me too.  Say 'alright?' in the supermarket to a lassie I worked with in previous job, saw her again in the pub recently and the wife was giving it the 'there's your bird' chat.

Horrendous patter.

At risk of sounding like a humourless b*****d, i find it really quite disrespectful to myself and the lassie involved in the shit patter too. I mean, the wife speaks to her all the time when shes delivering stuff. 

She has a couple of Male pals from her work that she socialises with as part of their wee group. I'd never dream of making anything of that even in jest because it would make her paranoid, and make me look like a jealous wee fanny, so I find it quite annoying that iv to put up with it. Might give her a swift hoof to the pie tbh. 

[Shandon Par]

18 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

The wife does that to me too.  Say 'alright?' in the supermarket to a lassie I worked with in previous job, saw her again in the pub recently and the wife was giving it the 'there's your bird' chat.

Horrendous patter.

It’s a sign of guilt. Them projecting their own behaviour onto you. HTH.

[Bairnardo]

It’s a sign of guilt. Them projecting their own behaviour onto you. HTH.

Can you tell my one to stop it next time you see her?

[Shandon Par]

55 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

59 minutes ago, Shandön Par said:

It’s a sign of guilt. Them projecting their own behaviour onto you. HTH.

Can you tell my one to stop it next time you see her?

Cool. Just texted her there to let her know.

[The Minertaur]

Last night we were babysitting our 2 nephews. In order to get both kids to our house with all their bags etc (one is disabled) I have to empty our car boot which contained a buggy for our niece.  

I bring the buggy into the house and put it in the hallway against the wall - in the way of nobody.  This is a no though in case somebody comes to the door and sees the pram.  Could you imagine what people would think if they saw a buggy in a hallway?

I suggest upstairs as we won't use it anytime soon as they don't live near us but that's shot down.  It ends up in the kitchen in front of a cupboard we don't use often (full of her baking stuff) except for the microwave on top of it.

I've started a new role at my work this week so have been very busy and trying to have quick lunches.  She's working from home today and messages me to say that she'll have my lunch (left over macaroni) ready for me at 12:30.  I arrive home then to find that she's not put my lunch on as she couldn't get into the microwave as the buggy was in the way.

Unless she was planning on standing as close to the cupboard as possible then the buggy was no obstacle. I wouldn't even say she'd need to stretch to sort it.

It's (the buggy) back in the boot now despite me pointing out that we need it empty for taking presents to family tonight.

 

[Shandon Par]

Mrs Par. “What shopping did you get?.

This is always asked just after I’ve filled the boot of the car with a week’s worth of shopping. Am I to spend the rest of the journey home trying to remember everything? Usually tell her she can read the receipt if she wants. How does she find the motivation to ask such an inane question?

[coprolite]

17 minutes ago, Shandön Par said:

Mrs Par. “What shopping did you get?.

This is always asked just after I’ve filled the boot of the car with a week’s worth of shopping. Am I to spend the rest of the journey home trying to remember everything? Usually tell her she can read the receipt if she wants. How does she find the motivation to ask such an inane question?

I gave my wife a detailed breakdown of what shopping i'd got in for christmas and emphasised that the fridge and freezer were both full so not to get any more stuff. Today, she went to Aldi, and bought most of the stuff again. 

[PB1994]

2 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Unsure how common this one will he but I suspect reasonably so, to some degree or another.

Just under the surface jealousy. Local delivery lassie goes to the same gym as me. She mentioned this to my wife. I didnt because it literally doesnt matter. I have spoken to the lassie once, in order to avoid an awkward "I know you from somewhere" type moment.

Now the wife is giving it "aw look it's your wee burd at the door" type chat. Shes sort of trying to put it across jokingly, but theres an undercurrent there, and tbqh, it leaves me seething.

This type of thing in general boils my piss.

I get this to and it makes me raging.

It is with the woman across the road from us. I think I’ve had one conversation with her in the 3 years we have lived here. Ever since lockdown I have been working from home so I have been able to drop off and pick up the wee man from school. This lassie has 2 young kids, one in primary 2 the same as our boy and one in nursery, so when walking past each other we say hi and carry on. Now, according to the wife she is now my new bird and she brings it up every time she sees her.

At first I just took it as a joke but now it seems that she genuinely seems to believe what she is saying and it also boils my piss.

[Miguel Sanchez]

2 hours ago, coprolite said:

My sister went to Japan and brought me back a pink kit kat (and a wee bottle of sake). I haven't eaten it yet.