Work colleagues

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

What do you call a women who sets fire to her electricity bills?

Mrs Watt

[Cerberus]

I had to fill in a work satisfaction survey.
It was anonymous so I absolutely panned everyone and everything about the place. 

The best way to deal with your problems is to be very passive aggressive.

[The_Kincardine]

3 minutes ago, Cerberus said:

I had to fill in a work satisfaction survey.
It was anonymous so I absolutely panned everyone and everything about the place. 

This seems perfectly acceptable.  It's what employee surveys are all about.

4 minutes ago, Cerberus said:

The best way to deal with your problems is to be very passive aggressive.

Terrific use of words.  Your next employer will, I'm sure, make good use of them.

[Shotgun]

3 hours ago, Cerberus said:

I had to fill in a work satisfaction survey.
It was anonymous so I absolutely panned everyone and everything about the place. 

The company I used to work for had an annual "Employee Satisfaction Survey", which we were told was anonymous. Completing it wasn't mandatory but...it kinda was. Our managers pushed us pretty hard to do so. It wasn't until I became a manager myself that I learned the results were distributed to each of the department heads "for review." So yes, the employee's names weren't included but given I only had 6 people reporting to me; it wasn't hard to figure out who had said what. To my relief, my team's comments were almost all positive but I certainly cringed when I thought back to some of the things I'd said about my own bosses over the years, thinking they would never know it was me.

[D.A.F.C]

I had to fill in a work satisfaction survey.
It was anonymous so I absolutely panned everyone and everything about the place. 
The best way to deal with your problems is to be very passive aggressive.

Did you do it on paper?
From a pc its not anonymous.
Most senior managers are devious scheming narcissistic shitebags who will do anything to prevent themselves getting found out.

[Boghead ranter]

3 hours ago, Shotgun said:

The company I used to work for had an annual "Employee Satisfaction Survey", which we were told was anonymous. Completing it wasn't mandatory but...it kinda was. Our managers pushed us pretty hard to do so. It wasn't until I became a manager myself that I learned the results were distributed to each of the department heads "for review." So yes, the employee's names weren't included but given I only had 6 people reporting to me; it wasn't hard to figure out who had said what. To my relief, my team's comments were almost all positive but I certainly cringed when I thought back to some of the things I'd said about my own bosses over the years, thinking they would never know it was me.

Yup, my old employers' annual survey was anonymous, but contained compulsory questions like gender, age, length of service and such like that would  really narrow down the possibilities for who completed each one........if you answered those questions truthfully.

[UsedToGoToCentralPark]

Yup, my old employers' annual survey was anonymous, but contained compulsory questions like gender, age, length of service and such like that would  really narrow down the possibilities for who completed each one........if you answered those questions truthfully.[emoji41]

I always put a random office for my location. Also worth checking if the link you are sent is different from everyone else as well. These thing might be anonymous but ultimately aren't if anything that could be taken as a disciplinary matter is reported in them.

[D.A.F.C]

Disciplinary matter for holding a manager accountable.
Stop telling the truth.
[emoji38]

[ICTChris]

We have workplace satisfaction surveys and I’m always positive in them as I like my job and colleagues for the most part.

[mizfit]

We have them too and the same shit comes up needing fixed and the same management solemnly swear to fix it and it never is.

They removed the option to write what you want to change in ours 2 years ago because of this.

[Jacksgranda]

3 hours ago, ICTChris said:

We have workplace satisfaction surveys and I’m always positive in them as I like my job and colleagues for the most part.

^^^Doing it wrong

[Alert Mongoose]

3 hours ago, MixuFixit said:

We have them too and the same shit comes up needing fixed and the same management solemnly swear to fix it and it never is.

Our senior management acknowledge the things that need fixed then ask us to 'volunteer' (ie part of your appraisal) to form working groups to then fix it yourselves. Their token involvement is to 'sponsor' (turn up to the odd meeting) the groups. Of course people don't have to time to fix these things as bau takes up all their time hence it starts again in another year. I'm surprised we don't have more mad employee shooting sprees aimed at senior management. 

Edited June 19, 2019 by Alert Mongoose

[KnightswoodBear]

My works annual surveys used to have separate sections for your direct boss and then upper management.  What would generally happen is that you'd give your direct boss a decent survey but eviscerate the upper management.

They tried to get round this by merging the two sections so that there was no definition between the two. 

Now, even your direct manager gets a shite score in a sort a friendly fire type incident, which is sort of a shame as their bonuses are reliant on getting a good mark.

Edited June 19, 2019 by KnightswoodBear

[KnightswoodBear]

Just now, MixuFixit said:

They could always, I dunno, manage things better?

In my 20+ years at the company I've only had a couple of managers who were dicks, but most of them have been brand new. Generally as you move up the ladder the amount of arseholes/incompetents increases dramatically.

[Miguel Sanchez]

I get two of those surveys a year, and I always include several things specific to my department, so if anyone actually reads it (I wouldn't read lists as big as the ones I put in) they'll easily identify me. 

[8MileBU]

We have them too and the same shit comes up needing fixed and the same management solemnly swear to fix it and it never is.

Same where I work. The directors are the most hideous, pretentious, frauds imaginable and the senior management of my department the most pathetic bunch of yes-men and yes-women. Unfortunately they create much of the problems that need fixed, so nothing gets fixed and large chunks of public money gets pissed away.

[Mitch]

If you’re going to be truthful, but constructive then fill them out. If you’re going to use them as some attempt to give someone an undeserved shoeing then just don’t bother filling them out.
I’m sure if you explain to your gaffer that you intended to over exaggerate their incompetence then they would be fine with you not filling it out.

You could also not be a shitbag and sit down and give the feedback directly to management...

[coprolite]

7 minutes ago, Mitch said:

If you’re going to be truthful, but constructive then fill them out. If you’re going to use them as some attempt to give someone an undeserved shoeing then just don’t bother filling them out.
I’m sure if you explain to your gaffer that you intended to over exaggerate their incompetence then they would be fine with you not filling it out.

You could also not be a shitbag and sit down and give the feedback directly to management...

The second paragraph only works with decent management though. The careerist arse kissers will go on the defensive and probably get vindictive on those giving the challenging feedback. 

[highlandcowden]

23 hours ago, Boghead ranter said:

Yup, my old employers' annual survey was anonymous, but contained compulsory questions like gender, age, length of service and such like that would  really narrow down the possibilities for who completed each one........if you answered those questions truthfully.

same with my employers annual survey, those questions easily identify you.doesnt bother me as I don't give 2 fucks if they know its me but it clearly makes the survey anything but anonymous

[highlandcowden]

18 hours ago, Alert Mongoose said:

 I'm surprised we don't have more mad employee shooting sprees aimed at senior management. 

if guns were freely available in this country I suspect we would have.

cant imagine its as easy to go on a murder spree in your workplace if all that's available to you is a baseball bat with nails hammered through it