Work colleagues

[101]

The guide dog has just left for his Christmas lunch he came straight back saying he left his wallet in his other coat! 

He also sent us a lovely Christmas card. Have a nice Christmas folks! 

[fuzzydunlop]

On ‎19‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 13:40, fuzzydunlop said:

aye loada sh*te.

I've moved jobs so thankfully dont have this pish this year -after 10 years of it.  

The lassies in the office would start talking about it in September.  They would then draw names out the hat in october so people had enough time.. Once names were drawn they'd basically then ask each other who they had, which defeats the whole f*cking point.   They'd then work out who everyone else had.

My fave moment though came when we got a new Director in the company. As he lived in our depots area they built him a brand new office at the end of our offices corridor. So everytime he came in he had to walk through our office to get to his.  One of the girls decided to ask him one day in front of everyone if he wanted to get involved in the Secret Santa this year.  He didnt seem overly pleased but as a new guy I could tell he didnt want to let the side down so he agreed.   I'm sure you can imagine the type of lassie who asked, the big mouth one who thinks everyone likes her.  She even wallowed in some sort of self congratulatory mode afterwards that shes managed to persuade the Director to join in.

As normal, once the names were drawn out it didnt take them long to work out who ahd who.  Turns out the Director had to buy a present for a girl in the team - Another pain in the arse. Once she worked it out, she was well chuffed thinking that although there was a £10 limit, as Director he would no doubt splash out on something more than £10 and something good.   For the following weeks leading upto xmas she was subject to either lots of "aw thats amazing" from the other girls to "thats not fair, what a b*tch" when her back was turned.

Once xmas eve came along and the 'secret' presents were given out all eyes turned to this girl as she opened hers....a jar of hand cream! I couldnt contain my laughter.  The lassie opened her desk drawer, threw it in and then slammed it shut and was in a mood for the rest of the day.  Not sure if she was expecting a Tiffany ring or something but its crazy how some folks minds work.

 

well talk about karma coming back to bite me....

I posted the above at 13.40 yesterday.  At 3pm my boss comes in to see me.  We have a potential new customer who's current supplier has let them down.  He needs me to drive 3 hours in the morning(today) to Warrington to sit in this customers office taking enquiries.  As this was a job I did previously and no one else available my boss has put my name forward.  Obviously he did it in the only way he could:

"do you have anything planned tomorrow, meetings or anything?"

"no"

"ok we need you to go to this customer for the day"

"ok"

Then I get the full story and cant make an excuse....

I had planned an easy day today, with a sneaky early finish.... but instead I left the house at 5.30am this morning to drive to Warrington.  I'm now sitting in a spare desk amongst 40 office staff I've never met before, they are all in xmas jumpers(i'm in a suit) with the xmas tunes blaring.

But the icing on the cake is each section of this big office is individual teams of maybe 8-10..and yep, each section is having their Secret Santa today.  So I've had to sit in the middle of it like a f*cking dickhead as they've exchanged presents around me.

I'll be here til 5pm then got to face the M6 on one of the busiest road days of the year. Will service me right for laughing at folk getting sh*t Secret santa gifts.

 

[pozbaird]

Years ago, a place I worked in had a communal ‘lunch room’ upstairs. It was usually a quiet place of respite from the madness down below, so folk never talked much, just sat eating, flicking through the paper, sipping coffee... until one day, a sales guy called Chad, who was sitting alone at a table reading a paper suddenly, without warning, just shouted out very loudly ‘Fcuk sake! Why is this cnut in the papers all the time!’.... everyone shat themselves and jumped out of their seats. Coffee was spilled, sandwiches spat out mid-munch. One guy got up, walked over to Chad, and said ‘FFS Chad, what’s the score here!?’ Chad violently prods the paper on the table - ‘Him. That cnut. Never out the papers, always on the telly, but he never does anything...’ The other bloke looks down, and it’s a story about Simon Weston, the Falklands veteran who was doing charity work with burn victims. ‘Aye, Chad, it’s that war hero bloke, you remember?’ Chad - ‘He disnae’ do anything though. Just a burnt guy. He’s famous, but just famous for being a burnt guy. He does my head in. Fcuk sake’..... Chad goes back to quietly munching a cheese sandwich as the rest of the lunch room shake their heads, piss themselves laughing, and continue trying to clean the coffee stains off their clothing.

Edited December 20, 2019 by pozbaird

[sjc]

6 minutes ago, pozbaird said:

Years ago, a place I worked in had a communal ‘lunch room’ upstairs. It was usually a quiet place of respite from the madness down below, so folk never talked much, just sat eating, flicking through the paper, sipping coffee... until one day, a sales guy called Chad, who was sitting alone at a table reading a paper suddenly, without warning, just shouted out very loudly ‘Fcuk sake! Why is this cnut in the papers all the time!’.... everyone shat themselves and jumped out of their seats. Coffee was spilled, sandwiches spat out mid-munch. One guy got up, walked over to Chad, and said ‘FFS Chad, what’s the score here!?’ Chad violently prods the paper on the table - ‘Him. That cnut. Never out the papers, always on the telly, but he never does anything...’ The other bloke looks down, and it’s a story about Simon Weston, the Falklands veteran who was doing charity work with burn victims. ‘Aye, Chad, it’s that war hero bloke, you remember?’ Chad - ‘He disnae’ do anything though. Just a burnt guy. He’s famous, but just famous for being a burnt guy. He does my head in. Fcuk sake’..... Chad goes back to quietly munching a cheese sandwich as the rest of the lunch room shake their heads, piss themselves laughing, and continue trying to clean the coffee stains off their clothing.

I'm guessing you had to be there, mate.....

[pozbaird]

Just now, sjc said:

I'm guessing you had to be there, mate.....

Fair cop.

[Rugster]

17 minutes ago, pozbaird said:

Years ago, a place I worked in had a communal ‘lunch room’ upstairs. It was usually a quiet place of respite from the madness down below, so folk never talked much, just sat eating, flicking through the paper, sipping coffee... until one day, a sales guy called Chad, who was sitting alone at a table reading a paper suddenly, without warning, just shouted out very loudly ‘Fcuk sake! Why is this cnut in the papers all the time!’.... everyone shat themselves and jumped out of their seats. Coffee was spilled, sandwiches spat out mid-munch. One guy got up, walked over to Chad, and said ‘FFS Chad, what’s the score here!?’ Chad violently prods the paper on the table - ‘Him. That cnut. Never out the papers, always on the telly, but he never does anything...’ The other bloke looks down, and it’s a story about Simon Weston, the Falklands veteran who was doing charity work with burn victims. ‘Aye, Chad, it’s that war hero bloke, you remember?’ Chad - ‘He disnae’ do anything though. Just a burnt guy. He’s famous, but just famous for being a burnt guy. He does my head in. Fcuk sake’..... Chad goes back to quietly munching a cheese sandwich as the rest of the lunch room shake their heads, piss themselves laughing, and continue trying to clean the coffee stains off their clothing.

Are you halfway through this post and keeping us in suspense for the punch line, or is that it?

[Sergeant Wilson]

10 minutes ago, Rugster said:

Are you halfway through this post and keeping us in suspense for the punch line, or is that it?

It's not as bad as Fuzzy's story. 

[fuzzydunlop]

20 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

It's not as bad as Fuzzy's story. 

in fairness I wasnt claiming mine to be a funny or entertaining story. Just bemoaning the curse of Secret Santa thats followed me around.  You'd love my stories, honestly you would..

[Sergeant Wilson]

39 minutes ago, fuzzydunlop said:

in fairness I wasnt claiming mine to be a funny or entertaining story. Just bemoaning the curse of Secret Santa thats followed me around.  You'd love my stories, honestly you would..

I like this one. Short, snappy and tells me all I need to know.

[Florentine_Pogen]

well talk about karma coming back to bite me....

I posted the above at 13.40 yesterday.  At 3pm my boss comes in to see me.  We have a potential new customer who's current supplier has let them down.  He needs me to drive 3 hours in the morning(today) to Warrington to sit in this customers office taking enquiries.  As this was a job I did previously and no one else available my boss has put my name forward.  Obviously he did it in the only way he could:

"do you have anything planned tomorrow, meetings or anything?"

"no"

"ok we need you to go to this customer for the day"

"ok"

Then I get the full story and cant make an excuse....

I had planned an easy day today, with a sneaky early finish.... but instead I left the house at 5.30am this morning to drive to Warrington.  I'm now sitting in a spare desk amongst 40 office staff I've never met before, they are all in xmas jumpers(i'm in a suit) with the xmas tunes blaring.

But the icing on the cake is each section of this big office is individual teams of maybe 8-10..and yep, each section is having their Secret Santa today.  So I've had to sit in the middle of it like a f*cking dickhead as they've exchanged presents around me.

I'll be here til 5pm then got to face the M6 on one of the busiest road days of the year. Will service me right for laughing at folk getting sh*t Secret santa gifts.

 

Fuzz, you’ve just made my day.......howling at this post.

[emoji122][emoji122][emoji122]

ETA - Ignore that auld cünt Wilson...as if his shite disnae smell......[emoji41]

[pozbaird]

3 hours ago, Rugster said:

Are you halfway through this post and keeping us in suspense for the punch line, or is that it?

You basturts’ are going to ruin my Christmas at this rate. Wis’ just a wee story. I want my mammy.

[pozbaird]

Was a bloke at my work once, he heard this sales guy going mental at Simon Weston, thought it was funny, said to himself ‘sit on this tale for twenty years, folk on a fitba’ forum will love it’.... what a daft cnut he was.

[D.A.F.C]

 

[johnnydun]

@D.A.F.C 

I confronted my management in a previous job, this is how it panned out..

I was really happy in my role, a mid management level position where I had a lot of freedom to implement my own styles and my department within a large oil & gas service company was making profit for the first time since it's beginning.

This company is well known for buying smaller companies and integrating them with what they already have.

So they bought out a rival company that carried out the same work as my department. The type of work I am involved in is quite niche and in this category most people know or have at least heard of everyone else. The company they bought were well known to be run by utter ball bags and a terrible employer. I personally knew a few of them coming on board and I was not happy. But being the professional I am, I thought this would be more daunting for them than me and welcomed them.

I was given a new General Manager and a new European Operations Manager to answer to, their Workshop Manager that was in the same position as me, came along and was given a Foremans role answering to me. This was the start of the problem...

They did not like my Management style at all, I like to think of it as quite relaxed and heavily safety focused thinking a lot of the workshop staffs wellbeing, as long as they were getting their getting jobs done safely and efficiently I did not have any issues, the workshop staff preferred it this way as I would let them sneak away early for things etc..

The big bosses were all happy with it too as there were no accidents and profits were up.

These new guys had other ideas, telling folk that my regime would soon be over and things were going to change and be more disciplined, they were telling folk that thier guy was going to take over and force me out. An email sent in error to a co worker meant for their own group saying that this was not the way they operated and it was going to stop.

It was a really depressing time, as I was being forced out from the job I once loved.

So I couldn't take it anymore and went to HR with a copy of the email and all the witness statements.

All 3 were binned within a month. Sadly it was too late for me as the love for job had gone, I moved on a couple of months after that.

I was never one for confrontation but this had to stop, it was affecting my health and no job is worth that. 

I have since been asked back but I declined, more to do with travelling up to Aberdeen daily but it's good to know that I am still valued.

If you can take anything from this then take the line in bold.

Thank you.

Edited December 22, 2019 by johnnydun

[KingRocketman II]

On 20/12/2019 at 15:33, Rugster said:

Are you halfway through this post and keeping us in suspense for the punch line, or is that it?

I thought ir was funny. Who get angry over Simon Weston and why him over thousands of other useless feckers......

[KingRocketman II]

On 20/12/2019 at 18:43, pozbaird said:

Was a bloke at my work once, he heard this sales guy going mental at Simon Weston, thought it was funny, said to himself ‘sit on this tale for twenty years, folk on a fitba’ forum will love it’.... what a daft cnut he was.

ha - I'll dine out on that when the time is right.....

[Busta Nut]

I sent my snidey merry xmas email on Saturday. I await the rage the mora.

[Jacksgranda]

1 hour ago, Busta Nut said:

I sent my snidey merry xmas email on Saturday. I await the rage the mora.

Keep us updated!

[D.A.F.C]

[mention=59448]D.A.F.C[/mention] 
I confronted my management in a previous job, this is how it panned out..
I was really happy in my role, a mid management level position where I had a lot of freedom to implement my own styles and my department within a large oil & gas service company was making profit for the first time since it's beginning.
This company is well known for buying smaller companies and integrating them with what they already have.
So they bought out a rival company that carried out the same work as my department. The type of work I am involved in is quite niche and in this category most people know or have at least heard of everyone else. The company they bought were well known to be run by utter ball bags and a terrible employer. I personally knew a few of them coming on board and I was not happy. But being the professional I am, I thought this would be more daunting for them than me and welcomed them.
I was given a new General Manager and a new European Operations Manager to answer to, their Workshop Manager that was in the same position as me, came along and was given a Foremans role answering to me. This was the start of the problem...
They did not like my Management style at all, I like to think of it as quite relaxed and heavily safety focused thinking a lot of the workshop staffs wellbeing, as long as they were getting their getting jobs done safely and efficiently I did not have any issues, the workshop staff preferred it this way as I would let them sneak away early for things etc..
The big bosses were all happy with it too as there were no accidents and profits were up.
These new guys had other ideas, telling folk that my regime would soon be over and things were going to change and be more disciplined, they were telling folk that thier guy was going to take over and force me out. An email sent in error to a co worker meant for their own group saying that this was not the way they operated and it was going to stop.
It was a really depressing time, as I was being forced out from the job I once loved.
So I couldn't take it anymore and went to HR with a copy of the email and all the witness statements.
All 3 were binned within a month. Sadly it was too late for me as the love for job had gone, I moved on a couple of months after that.
I was never one for confrontation but this had to stop, it was affecting my health and no job is worth that. 
I have since been asked back but I declined, more to do with travelling up to Aberdeen daily but it's good to know that I am still valued.
If you can take anything from this then take the line in bold.
Thank you.

Thanks. I really know I'm in the right 100%. I have email trails showing that I've tried to resolve it in a good way yet within minutes of being told I was respected the manager was trying to make a fool of me. Some of it is indirect innuendo and also making me out to be moaning etc when I'm just standing up for myself. When I confront any colleagues it gets denied. I'm more than sure that the manager has breached confidentiality of the meetings ran back to other colleagues and turned others.
Long story short I dont think I've got any issue with winning the battle but it would start a war. The boss' boss is leaving so hoping someone decent comes in. This is happening soon. Not going to leave it beyond January one way or the other.

[Busta Nut]

On 16/12/2019 at 21:20, Busta Nut said:

I work constant backshift. There is about 5 of us in our team who's shifts fall on the two eves. Xmas and hogmanay.

The initial enquiries were met with "right now you are working to the end, it may be earlier but can't be promised." People weren't happy. As I use public transport I enquired about my shift on those days as I won't get home. No real answers were given so I suggested I'd have to be let go at a reasonable time due to transport stoppping, I jokingly refused my collegues offers of lifts with "It's not up to you to see me home, I'll just have to finish about 7pm" [/hahaha].

This resulted in a wummin goin aff her trolley talking about kickin up a fuss etc if I got away early. All that did was make me more determined to get the days off. So while everyone whined about working late on these days but not actually doing anything. I've asked questions sent emails and spoken to people which resulted in me working the two Saturday's before Xmas and being off on both these eves.

I did it quietly and told no one. I plan on sending them a snidey email just to annoy them. (Cunty I know.)

 

Main rage culprit. Been told the reaction in person was better. (I'd mentioned I was sly and sleekit in my attempts to get the days aff in my email).

Tunes and booze in the mora's video