whiskychimp Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Boghead ranter said: "Oh, you play basketball? Can you spin the ball on the end of your finger?" Yeah, I'm forever stopping in the middle of a game and going into full Harlem Globetrotter mode. So you can't then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Out cycling. Stop at BP and sit my bike up outside. Walk in (helmet & hi viz on) and the wifey on the counter asks "Any petrol?".... She may have assumed that you had ran out of petrol further down the road and kept a bicycle in the boot in case such an issue arises.That's good petrol station Customer Service, IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Out cycling. Stop at BP and sit my bike up outside. Walk in (helmet & hi viz on) and the wifey on the counter asks "Any petrol?".... Perhaps the wifey was an undercover C.A.S.T agent on a mission to convert cyclists to economical fuel motoring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 16 minutes ago, whiskychimp said: So you can't then. Nope, and I can't dunk either, which is the other question usually asked. And the usual statement, rather than question, is "aye, you're tall, right enough" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Watson Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Richey Edwards said: I shall begin this thread by declaring that I wear glasses. I need to wear them pretty much every waking moment due to having very poor eyesight. Because I wear glasses, a number of people have asked me if I need to wear my glasses while sleeping. Obviously I do not wear my glasses while sleeping. The one exception has been an unfortunate occasion in my teenage years involving bottles of Frosty Jacks and falling asleep with glasses, shoes and full clothing on like an absolute jake, but I digress. The enquirer is usually surprised by the fact that I do not sleep with glasses on, and asks how I manage see my dreams without my glasses on. I have had this conversation with colleagues, college students etc a frightening number of occasions. Unbelievable. If you don't wear them while you're sleeping, how do you find them when you wake up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutz_the_Squirrel Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 How much is that doggy in the window? Check the tag ya plum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Easy. Just put your spare pair on then look for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 12 minutes ago, Dr Watson said: If you don't wear them while you're sleeping, how do you find them when you wake up? You put a bell on them and a string from the bell to your pinky finger. Wiggle your pinky and follow the jingle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Watson Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 4 minutes ago, whiskychimp said: You put a bell on them and a string from the bell to your pinky finger. Wiggle your pinky and follow the jingle. They might get broken if there's any rapid hand movements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Stupidest glasses-related question that I've ever heard was the inevitable one asked of any kid arriving at school with their new spectacles: "did you go blind?" Anyway, following Granny's revelation, this is clearly now a thread about ice-cold hard men with impressive replacement eyes, so... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinkinFighter Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 The Dean Shiels of pie and bovril Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomp my root Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Most submariners will have been asked if they get claustrophobic several times. Of course, if you're claustrophobic you'll be champing at the bit to go on submarines. The other one was always about what you could see out the windows. Out in a group there were 3 guys who were about 40 and had the receding hair/semi skinhead look and as we were chatting to some local Senga's, one asked " are youse 3 twins ?" I'm sure others will occur to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryHill Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Boghead ranter said: Nope, and I can't dunk either, which is the other question usually asked. And the usual statement, rather than question, is "aye, you're tall, right enough" So you can't spin a ball and you can't dunk...are you a crap basket ball player? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 So you can't spin a ball and you can't dunk...are you a crap basket ball player? He's tall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 14 minutes ago, HenryHill said: So you can't spin a ball and you can't dunk...are you a crap basket ball player? ^^^Not a stupid question type post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 When I was at high school I told some lass about the time I was knocked down crossing the road as a 6 year old. She asked with 100% sincerity "That's awful. Did you die?" She was one of the brighter lasses at that school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryHill Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 4 minutes ago, nsr said: When I was at high school I told some lass about the time I was knocked down crossing the road as a 6 year old. She asked with 100% sincerity "That's awful. Did you die?" She was one of the brighter lasses at that school. You went to Dunfermline High?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sureiknow Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 4 hours ago, throbber said: Why would anyone deliberately sleep with glasses on? When you toss and turn in the night you run a risk of bending them out of shape. Toss! Ha Hee. That's dirty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 A fat yank wifie once asked me in Lothian Road at the Princes Street end if I knew where Edinburgh Castle was, ME: "You see that big old stone building that looks suspiciously like a castle on top of that big rock" YANK :" Uh-huh" ME: "Well, what the f*ck do you think that is then..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 8 minutes ago, tamthebam said: A fat yank wifie once asked me in Lothian Road at the Princes Street end if I knew where Edinburgh Castle was, ME: "You see that big old stone building that looks suspiciously like a castle on top of that big rock" YANK :" Uh-huh" ME: "Well, what the f*ck do you think that is then..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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