England's Glorious Failure

[FifeArab]

Shame.

[ICTChris]

Can't imagine why...

[King Kebab]

Englands best keeper in Pope won't even get in the squad I bet.

Let's hope so!!![emoji1303][emoji1303]

I also raise the motion that this Thread should be used for ALL England's games as match threads, if their entire Odyssey can be kept contained here the resultant catalogue of this year's litany of failure could make for P&B gold!!!

 

[Dullard Bluteau]

On ‎01‎/‎05‎/‎2018 at 13:38, forameus said:

The Dullard Bluteau Post Generator 3000 there, giving us some more gold.  The system couldn't find a way to shoehorn in its creator's xenophobia and hatred for the English, so it fell back on some "aye, but look at your team" bantz.  Sterling work.

Many thanks.

[Jambomo]

On 15/05/2018 at 12:18, ICTChris said:

Can't imagine why...

Apparently he is blaming David Moyes for not playing him enough at West Ham. Given the number of goals he chucked in there, I can't work out why he thinks Moyes ought to have done anything differently.

[nsr]

Will England even get out the group? I'd expect Belgium to top it quite comfortably but I (and I'd imagine the same is true of the English press) know pretty much hee haw about how good or bad Tunisia and Panama are.

[JamesM82]

5 minutes ago, nsr said:

Will England even get out the group? I'd expect Belgium to top it quite comfortably but I (and I'd imagine the same is true of the English press) know pretty much hee haw about how good or bad Tunisia and Panama are.

Bilel Mohsni has been picked by Tunisia, so I think that tells us all we need to know about them. Their best player is probably Khazri, who was at Sunderland for a while.

Panama were one of the beneficiaries of the USA's very funny choke job in qualifying. They haven't qualified before.

Both of them will probably try to play for 0-0s v England and Belgium. Tunisia certainly did that when they last qualified, in 2006. I had the misfortune of watching Ukraine labour to a 1-0 win (Shevchenko penalty) against them in Berlin.

If England, even with not the best squad they've ever had, fail to qualify from that group they've monumentally fucked up.

[forameus]

2 hours ago, JamesM82 said:

If England, even with not the best squad they've ever had, fail to qualify from that group they've monumentally fucked up.

This.  They failed in 2014, but that was with a much, much harder group in Italy and Uruguay, and a Costa Rica side no-one saw coming.  It would take Tunisia or Panama (or both) coming from nowhere to stop them qualifying in 2nd.  I expect that's how it'll end, unless Belgium dismantle themselves.

[Paco]

I'm pretty confident England will make the Quarter Final, at a minimum.  It would take a serious f**k up to go out in the group. Even one win might get them through, depending on how Panama & Tunisia do with each other. 

Poland/Columbia/Japan/Senegal waiting in the last 16, assuming they make it. Poland or Columbia wouldn't be easy and could definitely beat England but as last 16 ties go, I think you'd be pretty happy. Brazil the most likely side to wait in the QF for them but if they either fail to win the group or have a defeat in the last 16, you're looking at jobbers like Mexico or Switzerland.  A kind draw will inflate their performance here, IMO. 

[BFTD]

If Switzerland/Serbia/Nigeria/Mexico/Sweden/South Korea turn out to be good enough to beat/finish ahead of Brazil, England ought to present no major problems.

The semis await for my Serbian brethren  

[Monkey Tennis]

As ever, I can see England doing well here.

They're not a great side, but it wouldn't take much for them to reach the quarter finals.  I just keep thinking that one time, they must be due to deliver a big performance against a decent team, or one time find a way to negotiate a penalty shoot out.

I just feel that they can't keep failing indefinitely.  With a kind group this time, who knows?

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Here we go.

 

[TheScarf]

He has to say that though doesn't he?  Even though neither he nor anybody else believes it.

See Gerrard and Rangers.  He knows they're miles off Celtic.

[BFTD]

Technically possible. They could become world champions without winning a single game. Putting it like that, you'd be mad not to put money on them.

Edit: scrub that - just noticed that Saudi Arabia are 1000-1, and can also win the World Cup. Done deal for me.

[forameus]

Yeah, it's a bit of a non-story.  Captain of team says that team can win something.  Haud me back.  He's not going to say "aye, we've got no chance", and he's too thick to form any kind of independent thought in the middle-ground.  It's just part of the media's twice annual flags-and-proper-lads drive to get everyone frothing, believing they have a chance, so that the seethe is real when they ultimately fail, and the media can turn their attentions to their favourite game - bringing them down.

 

[Ya Bezzer!]

Was looking at the squads and England's midfield is absolutely terrible for a supposed major nation.  Since modern football is all about midfield I'd expect England to do absolutely nothing at this world cup.

[TheScarf]

The lack of dynamism in the midfield is telling.  You have 2 guys in Henderson and Dier that would make Barry Ferguson look like Zinedine Zidane. 

It was evident last night.  Henderson's first thought when he got the ball was to go sideways or backwards.

[King Kebab]

The lack of dynamism in the midfield is telling.  You have 2 guys in Henderson and Dier that would make Barry Ferguson look like Zinedine Zidane. 
It was evident last night.  Henderson's first thought when he got the ball was to go sideways or backwards.

Not sure if I would be alone in thinking that "prime" Ferguson was a much better player than Henderson has ever been!!!

[lanky_ffc]

17 hours ago, TheScarf said:

The lack of dynamism in the midfield is telling.  You have 2 guys in Henderson and Dier that would make Barry Ferguson look like Zinedine Zidane. 

It was evident last night.  Henderson's first thought when he got the ball was to go sideways or backwards.

I think they could get seriously exposed if that's the two that start in the middle of this 3-4-3 that Southgate is fixated on. For supposed holding midfielders, their numbers for interceptions and tackles won are dreadful.

Never thought I'd say this, but Oxlade-Chamberlain could be a big miss.

[Desp]

I think England will win their group.  They will nick a 1-0 against Belgium in the last game.  That will probably get them Poland in the last 16 which again, I think they'd scrape through thanks to Harry Kane.

They'll get hit with Brazil in the Quarters and get absolutely fucking destroyed.  Which, for me, will be delicious viewing.