Bairnardo Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 You should be flattered that [mention=68117]Bairnardo[/mention] thinks you're better than that. Thats an interesting interpretation of "better" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sugna Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 39 minutes ago, microdave said: I love a shot on a bouncy castle. Whenever any of my nieces or nephews have one at their birthday parties, I'm usually the first one on it. Apart from once when there was a fucking bouncer to make sure the kids didn't get hurt and stop adults having a shot. I sat there absolutely seething! I'm thinking the correct term is de-bouncer, in this case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 6 minutes ago, Dindeleux said: My papa had been in a nursing home for a couple of months and I was in sitting in his room with him watching TV. This old woman burst in the room and started saying we need to help her get out to go save her kids from a fire (you never know if this could've happened and be the reason the woman is the way she is). Anyway I did the real life version of the Steve Carell 'nodding my head whilst pushing her out using the door' gif and she was shouting, very loudly, "Damn you both to hell, DAMN YOU TO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!" When I got her out the room and I turned to him and asked if that had happened before. He answered "Aye don't worry, your auntie Jan is absolutely mental". He thought it was his sister. From that point on I haven't felt quite as bad about his illness. Its crazy how they can regress back to being children almost, they give them dolls and kids toys to play with in the home. Yesterday he was playing with a bag of clothes pegs. My Dad used to love making experimental hot drinks. Usually it would involve putting tea bags and milk in the kettle or pouring hot water into a nearly full coffee jar and drinking it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Alzheimer’s - when you’re only young twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 1 minute ago, welshbairn said: My Dad used to love making experimental hot drinks. Usually it would involve putting tea bags and milk in the kettle or pouring hot water into a nearly full coffee jar and drinking it. My papa has been really poor for so long now its hard to remember what he was like when he wasn't ill. He's 84 but lived a really great life until around 70/75. It was obvious he was suffering from something for a while as he would get confused a lot and then started to get lost coming home from the shops which are 100 yards down his road and then right on the corner. He's lived in the same street (2 different houses) for about 60 years. Imagine not being able to find your way back from the shops that you've been walking too/from/past for at least half a century. Frightening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 4 minutes ago, Dindeleux said: My papa has been really poor for so long now its hard to remember what he was like when he wasn't ill. He's 84 but lived a really great life until around 70/75. It was obvious he was suffering from something for a while as he would get confused a lot and then started to get lost coming home from the shops which are 100 yards down his road and then right on the corner. He's lived in the same street (2 different houses) for about 60 years. Imagine not being able to find your way back from the shops that you've been walking too/from/past for at least half a century. Frightening. The same. Had to go out searching for him loads of times. Woke up 2 or 3 times with the police or a passerby bringing him back in his pajamas at 4am. Ended up with alarms everywhere and handles removed from doors. Still used to go to the pub with him late afternoons until a week or so before he died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONKMAN Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 2 hours ago, NJ2 said: At all related to your current ongoing health issues? Doubt it, was years ago. One mate did have reservations about sharing a crack pipe with an old homeless lady from West Africa, but she was probably more concerned about what she’d catch off us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 4 minutes ago, welshbairn said: The same. Had to go out searching for him loads of times. Woke up 2 or 3 times with the police or a passerby bringing him back in his pajamas at 4am. Ended up with alarms everywhere and handles removed from doors. Still used to go to the pub with him late afternoons until a week or so before he died. Aye he was pretty much kept under lock and key in his own house for a good few years before we moved him into the home. He got lost outside one night too - according to him the next day he was going to the pub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiet Riot Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Just to get the thread back on track. I used have great fun on freezing mornings getting the garden hose out and spraying it over a steep road at the side of the house. Then retreat indoors to enjoy the chaos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh phil Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 I once went out for a drink after work, a swift pint waiting for the bus type job, fast forward to the end of the night, I'm back at hers and we are shagging, both melted after ending up in the Hive in Edinburgh, must've been 3 eccies in each and we fell asleep eventually. I realised the next morning that I'd lost my condom and with a horrible realisation and panic that it must've come off inside her when I fell passed out. Rather than admit it, I went back for a bout of heavy fingering and managed to retrieve it. Which I then tucked down the back of her sofa in a panic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 I pissed in a bottle and poured it through the window on to the bed of a boy at school who I barely knew. It was on the ground floor, the window was open, why not? Still feel guilty about it, his parents would never have believed he didn't know what happened. 9/11 years old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 9 minutes ago, pittsburgh phil said: I once went out for a drink after work, a swift pint waiting for the bus type job, fast forward to the end of the night, I'm back at hers and we are shagging, both melted after ending up in the Hive in Edinburgh, must've been 3 eccies in each and we fell asleep eventually. I realised the next morning that I'd lost my condom and with a horrible realisation and panic that it must've come off inside her when I fell passed out. Rather than admit it, I went back for a bout of heavy fingering and managed to retrieve it. Which I then tucked down the back of her sofa in a panic. @Bairnardo now this is a made up story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 38 minutes ago, welshbairn said: My Dad used to love making experimental hot drinks. Usually it would involve putting tea bags and milk in the kettle or pouring hot water into a nearly full coffee jar and drinking it. Did he ever try freezing milk in ice cube trays as an accompaniment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh phil Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 [mention=68117]Bairnardo[/mention] now this is a made up story. It really isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 When I was 7 years old and lived in Germany, there was cycling helmet hanging from the handlebars of an unattended bike, and at the end of the street was a portaloo. It was one of the old fashioned portaloos that had the abyss that Nietzsche mentioned in Beyond Good and Evil staring at you through the seat. Anyway, I thought it would be hilarious to throw the bike helmet down the portaloo. I ran away laughing like f**k and an hour later one of the biggest whodunnits in German history took place. First it was "who stole my bike helmet?" until someone happened to use the portaloo and found the helmet floating and covered in shite. I somehow managed to escape all suspicion by feigning shock that someone could do such a thing. I did not admit that it was me until 20 years later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 44 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: Did he ever try freezing milk in ice cube trays as an accompaniment? He was demented, not a psychotic oftw like @Cardinal Richelieu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Stole a can of irn bru from House of Bruar today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Stole a can of irn bru from House of Bruar today. It was probably £2:20 a can in there so good on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 It was probably £2:20 a can in there so good on you. I didn’t mean to do it as my Mrs was queuing for ice cream and when I came back with it she assumed I had already paid for it and put it in her bag, I just decided to play dumb. They had the last laugh as we had just paid about £20 for a few sheets of bacon and 2 filter coffees! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 3 minutes ago, throbber said: sheets of bacon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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