Worst interview experiences

[Nutz_the_Squirrel]

It’s an accepted fact that all recruitment agencies are c***s and recruitment consultants are poo poo heads 

[Nutz_the_Squirrel]

Years ago, in desperate times, I went for an interview with a ‘luxury leisure company’ in an outbound sales role.  Turned up expecting a slick operation with hungry and talented salespeople.  I was met with a scabby room with about 6 haggard, crumbling and broken idiots who  sat at a desk with a landline phone, lost of numbers and a ghetto blaster playing a tape with ‘busy stock exchange noise’.  Went through the interview which was a doddle.  They phoned me back a month later, having had no contact with me to tell me ‘I’m calling with a start date for you’.  Told them to get themselves to f**k*
 

*I have a new job but thanks for calling me (what a wimp)

[The Golden God]

Fairly large pub company, got asked all these ridiculous questions that were clearly part of some interview form some head office arsehole had thought up. The woman doing the interview knew they were a load of shite and so did I but they had to be done, stuff like “when was a time you done well in a crisis?”. I absolutely butchered it.

When the formal part was done we had a wee chat, she asked my hobbies and I mentioned going to football and how I used to have a season ticket but gave it up. She asked where for, last thing my da had said before was “it’s Glasgow don’t mention football.” I said Parkhead, she said aw me too, I got the job.

Worked out well I suppose but the interview itself was awful.

[Nutz_the_Squirrel]

1 minute ago, The Golden God said:

Fairly large pub company, got asked all these ridiculous questions that were clearly part of some interview form some head office arsehole had thought up. The woman doing the interview knew they were a load of shite and so did I but they had to be done, stuff like “when was a time you done well in a crisis?”. I absolutely butchered it.

When the formal part was done we had a wee chat, she asked my hobbies and I mentioned going to football and how I used to have a season ticket but gave it up. She asked where for, last thing my da had said before was “it’s Glasgow don’t mention football.” I said Parkhead, she said aw me too, I got the job.

Worked out well I suppose but the interview itself was awful.

The Loudoun? 

[throbber]

It’s an accepted fact that all recruitment agencies are c***s and recruitment consultants are poo poo heads 

Ach I don’t know. The two terrible agency experiences I had the people I dealt with were in England which is probably why the communication was poor and there were mix ups. I got a decent job at the end of 2017 a few weeks after, I applied for a job that I wasn’t qualified for and guy from agency phoned me saying he would be interested in meeting up and we had a coffee and within a fortnight I had the right job for me. That job lasted a year and within that time another agency contacted me and kept persevering with me until I decided to meet my current employer and I’m now in a better job that pays about £6k a year extra.

Agencies are a pain in the dick but they do a job for companies who don’t have their own HR.

[Miguel Sanchez]

I got a call from an agency once with a job in Stirling. "Can you drive?" Well, if I could drive I would have mentioned this on my CV which you say you're looking at, wouldn't I?

[welshbairn]

I got a call from an agency once with a job in Stirling. "Can you drive?" Well, if I could drive I would have mentioned this on my CV which you say you're looking at, wouldn't I?

I got offered a job in Norway when I was living in Aberdeen on condition I had a driving licence. Booked a cancellation test the next morning in Buckie, hitched up, couldn't find anywhere to stay and tried to sleep in the park with it pissing down all night, turned up at the test centre looking a right state, to be asked where my car was. What, don't you provide them? I was 17 or 18 I hasten to add.

[Bairnardo]

I always assumed that applying to a big company via their website meant a fair degree of privacy and professionalism in the handling of this application.

It doesnt. I worked on a job where the gaffers routinely shouted out a name and the fate was decided by someone replying basically w**k or good guy (small industry, someone always knows you)

If no one knew them then we would all get a look at the CV to pick it apart.

That said, this zero HR involvement phase didnt last too long, but the whole thing was less than robust.

[welshbairn]

I always assumed that applying to a big company via their website meant a fair degree of privacy and professionalism in the handling of this application.

 

It doesnt. I worked on a job where the gaffers routinely shouted out a name and the fate was decided by someone replying basically w**k or good guy (small industry, someone always knows you)

 

If no one knew them then we would all get a look at the CV to pick it apart.

 

That said, this zero HR involvement phase didnt last too long, but the whole thing was less than robust.

Probably more reliable than psychometric testing though, in a small industry where everyone knows each other.

 

[Bairnardo]

Probably more reliable than psychometric testing though, in a small industry where everyone knows each other. 

Maybe. Problem even the recruitment for jobs is a job, as discussed. Too many people looking to make an easy thing complicated then charge money to facilitate. A total nonsense.

[A96]

52 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

I got a call from an agency once with a job in Stirling. "Can you drive?" Well, if I could drive I would have mentioned this on my CV which you say you're looking at, wouldn't I?

Hope the agency person told you that if that’s your attitude you can f**k off.

[D.A.F.C]

Maybe. Problem even the recruitment for jobs is a job, as discussed. Too many people looking to make an easy thing complicated then charge money to facilitate. A total nonsense.

Yep, i had a recruiter wanting a two hour meeting during the day to prepare me for an interview. It stopped me from applying for a job a couple of years back. When I think now I would have just done it but from speaking to them they didnt have any knowledge of the industry.
Questions are daft also, why are you looking as if its a crime. Nobody changes jobs. Twats.

[Guest JTS98]

14 hours ago, Nutz_the_Squirrel said:

It’s an accepted fact that all recruitment agencies are c***s and recruitment consultants are poo poo heads 

Apart from Special Agents, everybody with the word 'agent' in their job title is a c***.

[Guest JTS98]

13 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

I always assumed that applying to a big company via their website meant a fair degree of privacy and professionalism in the handling of this application.

It doesnt. I worked on a job where the gaffers routinely shouted out a name and the fate was decided by someone replying basically w**k or good guy (small industry, someone always knows you)

If no one knew them then we would all get a look at the CV to pick it apart.

That said, this zero HR involvement phase didnt last too long, but the whole thing was less than robust.

I suppose that happens to an extent in many industries.

The mob I work for have offices all over the world and the whole thing is a bit of a village. I'm by no means senior in the operation, but I've vetoed people for jobs before on the basis that I know them and they're p***ks. Happens a lot.

I know that the first job I got with this lot was because it was between me and some other guy, and the guy making the decision (who didn't know me at all at the time) had had a drunken argument with the other guy years ago and didn't fancy seeing him again.

On such moments does life turn.

[Ross.]

13 hours ago, welshbairn said:

Probably more reliable than psychometric testing though, in a small industry where everyone knows each other.

Place I work for now has a fairly lengthy psychometric test as the first part of the application process, which was designed by the guy who founded the company. Irrespective of the role you are applying for and any previous experience you have, you need to complete this satisfactorily or you aren't getting in. I found the whole thing a piece of piss, as the logic behind it seemed fairly obvious to me, but I've since tried to get a few folk I know into jobs here and despite being intelligent and experienced enough, none of them have got through the initial stage. The last time, the team manager who was hiring told me outright that she wanted to hire the boy I had put onto the job, and showed me the test results. It was an indecipherable graph that basically had a zig zagging line running across it with no label for the variables that returned that pattern. Apparently they wanted something that zig zagged more in the middle than at the edges, and they wanted him to do the test again in his stated second language to see if that returned the required result. Given there was absolutely nothing on the graph that gave an indication of what the result actually represented, I couldn't really help much.  I assume he got the same pattern again as they KB'd him a second time.

[Guest JTS98]

15 minutes ago, Ross. said:

Place I work for now has a fairly lengthy psychometric test as the first part of the application process, which was designed by the guy who founded the company. Irrespective of the role you are applying for and any previous experience you have, you need to complete this satisfactorily or you aren't getting in. I found the whole thing a piece of piss, as the logic behind it seemed fairly obvious to me, but I've since tried to get a few folk I know into jobs here and despite being intelligent and experienced enough, none of them have got through the initial stage. The last time, the team manager who was hiring told me outright that she wanted to hire the boy I had put onto the job, and showed me the test results. It was an indecipherable graph that basically had a zig zagging line running across it with no label for the variables that returned that pattern. Apparently they wanted something that zig zagged more in the middle than at the edges, and they wanted him to do the test again in his stated second language to see if that returned the required result. Given there was absolutely nothing on the graph that gave an indication of what the result actually represented, I couldn't really help much.  I assume he got the same pattern again as they KB'd him a second time.

Do you enjoy working for the Church of Scientology?

[Ross.]

17 minutes ago, JTS98 said:

Do you enjoy working for the Church of Scientology?

While our glorious leader certainly enjoys a cult like following in the world of finance, I can confirm he is very much alive and living on this planet.

[Peters Wyngarde]

Hadnt told the boss I was going for an interview - and one of the panel turned out to be her sister, with the opening gambit from them being "I see you work at XYZ Inc, my sister works there. Do you know Jane Smith?"

Me - "oh f*ck!"

[Jacksgranda]

1 hour ago, Ross. said:

Place I work for now has a fairly lengthy psychometric test as the first part of the application process, which was designed by the guy who founded the company. Irrespective of the role you are applying for and any previous experience you have, you need to complete this satisfactorily or you aren't getting in. I found the whole thing a piece of piss, as the logic behind it seemed fairly obvious to me, but I've since tried to get a few folk I know into jobs here and despite being intelligent and experienced enough, none of them have got through the initial stage. The last time, the team manager who was hiring told me outright that she wanted to hire the boy I had put onto the job, and showed me the test results. It was an indecipherable graph that basically had a zig zagging line running across it with no label for the variables that returned that pattern. Apparently they wanted something that zig zagged more in the middle than at the edges, and they wanted him to do the test again in his stated second language to see if that returned the required result. Given there was absolutely nothing on the graph that gave an indication of what the result actually represented, I couldn't really help much.  I assume he got the same pattern again as they KB'd him a second time.

Who'd have thought that getting a job making cuckoo clocks would be so difficult?

Edited January 13, 2020 by Jacksgranda

[Ross.]

11 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Who'd have thought that getting a job making cuckoo clocks would be so difficult?

You'd be surprised. It's a 24 hours a day number.