Conspiracy Theories

[Genuine Hibs Fan]

1 hour ago, The Moonster said:

Why? He said Bigfoot would eat us as they are "top of the food chain" not because we were violent towards them. And there's no evidence we are even violent towards them, unless Biggie has something up his sleeve we've not even injured one or killed one before. 

If we were a threat to a highly intelligent creature like this, they would kill our children. Bigfoots are apparently omnivores, a child is a quick and simple meal for something sitting at the "top of the food chain". They'd be incredibly compassionate creatures to look after our young for us rather than eat them, and if they are that compassionate and intelligent, why the f**k are they hiding from us?

V good point. Not a bigfoot is real guy but enjoy seeing which ways the narrative can go. Hoping we get some more detail a la Bigfoot funerals 

Edited May 4, 2021 by Genuine Hibs Fan

[SANTAN]

1 minute ago, Henderson to deliver ..... said:

No chance, this is an 8ft tall, 20 stone killing machine, not some 15 year old green brigade nerd.

I was kinda looking for a Bigmouth reaction in all honesty... 

I'm sure Bigfeet (?) Doesnt actually have to get involved in scrapping very often tbf, he would likely be rusty and probably wouldn't protect his balls. 

[Bairnardo]

I have to say, I think that "top of the food chain" was fantastic. No interest in being part of the argument/debate about bigfoot*, just really enjoyed it. 

 

*other than to say that as will all large animals, the first headlock is key. Get the first headlock in, 9 times out of 10 you go on to win the fight. 

[sugna]

2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

*other than to say that as will all large animals, the first headlock is key. Get the first headlock in, 9 times out of 10 you go on to win the fight. 

It is a fact that there's no evidence of a sasquatch ever overcoming an initial headlock and going on to defeat their human adversary.

[coprolite]

3 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

I have to say, I think that "top of the food chain" was fantastic. No interest in being part of the argument/debate about bigfoot*, just really enjoyed it. 

 

*other than to say that as will all large animals, the first headlock is key. Get the first headlock in, 9 times out of 10 you go on to win the fight. 

Try that with a green anaconda and see how it goes. 

[Bairnardo]

1 minute ago, coprolite said:

Try that with a green anaconda and see how it goes. 

Well, your green anaconda will have to show me something to convince me that it can overcome this irrestible law of nature

1 minute ago, sugna said:

It is a fact that there's no evidence of a sasquatch ever overcoming an initial headlock and going on to defeat their human adversary.

This is correct. You simply cannot argue with the stats. Nor will you find the Grizzly or Polar bear, the hippo, the elephant seal or any of the big cats with a better record in that regard. 

The headlock is natures cheat code

[Wee-Bey]

They would literally rip your arms from their sockets in a flick of the wrist. Even the world's hardest man, John Cena, would probably only have a 30% chance against these boys.

I'd be quite confident of sexually dominating a submissive female though.

[Genuine Hibs Fan]

10 minutes ago, Henderson to deliver ..... said:

They would literally rip your arms from their sockets in a flick of the wrist. Even the world's hardest man, John Cena, would probably only have a 30% chance against these boys.

I'd be quite confident of sexually dominating a submissive female though.

In bigfooted society the females are actually always sexually dominant, sorry man

[coprolite]

10 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Well, your green anaconda will have to show me something to convince me that it can overcome this irrestible law of nature

This is correct. You simply cannot argue with the stats. Nor will you find the Grizzly or Polar bear, the hippo, the elephant seal or any of the big cats with a better record in that regard. 

The headlock is natures cheat code

Apologies for the delay in responding. I used an internet search facility to help locate suitable evidence and it turns out that a young lady named Niki Minaj has made a popular video about anacondas. I became distracted. 

[sugna]

26 minutes ago, Henderson to deliver ..... said:

I'd be quite confident of sexually dominating a submissive female though.

Did you post this in the wrong thread?

[LongTimeLurker]

4 hours ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said:

Had a quick search, gets a brief mention in this article together with another one halfway down the page.

National Park vanishings | Chasing The Unknown (wordpress.com)

• Keith Parkinsin was only 2 years old when he disappeared near Oregon’s Umatilla National Forest in 1952. Luckily he was found alive less than a day later, but it cant be ignored that he was found a staggering 12 miles away. An analysis determined that he would have had to traverse water, fences and not one but TWO mountain ranges. At 2 years of age, this feels a stretch.
• A 2-year-old boy vanished in Yosemite National Park in 1957. He was found after hundreds of people and tracking dogs had been looking for him. He was found missing his pants and had somehow managed to climb up a 3000ft high rock face. No one was ever able to explain how he got up there but luckily survived with just dehydration.

Very strange but do we really need to invoke an 8 foot tall primate that has yet to be identified by science to explain that though? It's a bit like all the thylacine bollocks in Australia. Couldn't completely be discounted before people had cellphone cameras and easy access to trailcam technology but incontrovertible photographic evidence would have shown up over the last few decades if they were really there.

[Wee-Bey]

22 minutes ago, Genuine Hibs Fan said:

In bigfooted society the females are actually always sexually dominant, sorry man

Much like when baby birds fall from the nest and are rejected by the mother, female bigfeet are rejected by the herd once human musk is scented on the fur due to jealousy from the females and violent rage from the males. 

[Wee-Bey]

11 minutes ago, sugna said:

Did you post this in the wrong thread?

Don't think so, can you suggest what thread would be more suitable.

I do detect a hint of kinkshaming here also.

 

[Miguel Sanchez]

Bigfoot eats babies, everybody knows that

 

[invergowrie arab]

6 hours ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said:

Puts tinfoil helmet on, and waits for abuse barrage............

Would be a suicide mission, in the wilderness these beings are top of the food chain, not us.

People hunt lions  sharks, elephants etc. And in the old days before it was frowned upon mountain gorillas. Surely anyone with an assault rifle is top of the food chain?

[Bairnardo]

42 minutes ago, Henderson to deliver ..... said:

Much like when baby birds fall from the nest and are rejected by the mother, female bigfeet are rejected by the herd once human musk is scented on the fur due to jealousy from the females and violent rage from the males. 

^^^ Simon David Williamson except putting bigfeet on the game

[Wee-Bey]

16 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

^^^ Simon David Williamson except putting bigfeet on the game

It's a question of supply and fucking demand Rents !!!

[ICTChris]

I want to kill all the bigfoots now.  I will hunt them in the wilderness, stalk them as they forage and then drive a hunting knife through their heart.  The bigoots will look at me as the life drains from it body and know that me, a semi-prominent poster from Pie and Bovril, took it's life.  I will skin it and wear it's hide as a trophy.  I will stuff it's head and mount it in my study.  I will glory in my dominance over nature.  I will kill all the bigfoots.  

[Shotgun]

A Bigføøt once bit my sister... No realli! She was Karving her initials on the Bigføøt with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"

[Bigmouth Strikes Again]

2 hours ago, invergowrie arab said:

People hunt lions  sharks, elephants etc. And in the old days before it was frowned upon mountain gorillas. Surely anyone with an assault rifle is top of the food chain?

Probably, if there were three or four of you, you were all elite special forces, and were carrying heavy calibre automatic weapons. If you're a good ol boy with a .22 then you're going to get seriously fucked over.

Thank you.