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14 hours ago, BFTD said:

See the steeping conkers in vinegar thing? I remember trying that when I was a kid, and all it did was make the core harden and shrink, but the brown outer "skin" became brittle and fell off.

Doesn't seem ideal if cheating was the plan.

^ bumbling amateur

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On 17/10/2024 at 13:50, RawB93 said:

We couldn’t afford string growing up so we would just throw them at each others heads. 

We saw kids throwing them at each other across a road in Newmarket a couple of weeks ago walking up to the racecourse. The road it is lined with horse chestnut trees (apt) and there were dozens on the paths.

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30 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

We never got conkers off trees, so we soaked our testicles in vinegar and smashed them off each other's instead.

and we graduated to playing rugger and voting Tory later on... 

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14 hours ago, hk blues said:

image.jpeg.6290095dd8995e61db4fe987e89cdcef.jpegmr 

I have never seen Charles Dickens receive any credit for creating the Four Yorkshiremen prototype. In Hard TimesMr Bounderby invents a totally fictitious account of his appalling early life.

‘I hadn’t a shoe to my foot.  As to a stocking, I didn’t know such a thing by name.  I passed the day in a ditch, and the night in a pigsty.  That’s the way I spent my tenth birthday.  Not that a ditch was new to me, for I was born in a ditch.’

‘My mother left me to my grandmother,’ said Bounderby; ‘and, according to the best of my remembrance, my grandmother was the wickedest and the worst old woman that ever lived.  If I got a little pair of shoes by any chance, she would take ’em off and sell ’em for drink.  Why, I have known that grandmother of mine lie in her bed and drink her four-teen glasses of liquor before breakfast!’

‘She kept a chandler’s shop,’ pursued Bounderby, ‘and kept me in an egg-box.  That was the cot of my infancy; an old egg-box.  As soon as I was big enough to run away, of course I ran away.  Then I became a young vagabond; and instead of one old woman knocking me about and starving me, everybody of all ages knocked me about and starved me.  They were right; they had no business to do anything else.  I was a nuisance, an incumbrance, and a pest.  I know that very well.’

 

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This headline had me pissing myself laughing, it's like something from The Day Today. I can almost hear Chris Morris reading it. Shouldn't really laugh because it's cruelty inflicted on animals by design.(I should add I don't read the GB news website for any other reason than to laugh at it)

Screenshot_20241019_230834_Chrome.jpg

Edited by Swordfishtrombone
Shite spelling.
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Some great suggestions from the Great British Public on how to reform/save Our NHS. Best one is replacing ambulance sirens with healthy eating advice!

https://change.nhs.uk/projects/your-ideas-for-change

Also enjoy “reject gender ideology” and “dedicated NHS TV channel” as ideas. 

Edited by ICTChris
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The dedicated NHS tv channel would be a winner. A camera in a GP's surgery watching as Mr Miggins goes in to see about his piles that have been acting up whilst Mrs O'Glossop discusses her issues "down there". A million nosy old ladies would pay a subscription 

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On 19/10/2024 at 17:15, Swordfishtrombone said:

This headline had me pissing myself laughing, it's like something from The Day Today. I can almost hear Chris Morris reading it. Shouldn't really laugh because it's cruelty inflicted on animals by design.(I should add I don't read the GB news website for any other reason than to laugh at it)

Screenshot_20241019_230834_Chrome.jpg

They look like really angry scrotums

f9a767d5-4549-4c92-b231-1b5dc0863d14.jpeg

Edited by carpetmonster
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1 minute ago, Silvio Tattiescone said:

The dedicated NHS tv channel would be a winner. A camera in a GP's surgery watching as Mr Miggins goes in to see about his piles that have been acting up whilst Mrs O'Glossop discusses her issues "down there". A million nosy old ladies would pay a subscription 

This would invariably lead to a massive rise in 'at home DIY surgery' on the kitchen table.........................."Wotchoo mean I need to 'av me leg ampertated ? .....I just followed the instructions off the telly"

dr_nick.webp.d59593362d81888a5455f6db15082741.webp

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7 minutes ago, Silvio Tattiescone said:

The dedicated NHS tv channel would be a winner. A camera in a GP's surgery watching as Mr Miggins goes in to see about his piles that have been acting up whilst Mrs O'Glossop discusses her issues "down there". A million nosy old ladies would pay a subscription 

Make 18-25YOs watch it and they'll all vote for compulsory euthanasia age 60, thereby leaving the NHS costing 20% of what it does now and the Government will be (even more) free to give all the (even more) money to their pals (plus ca change).  

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