Jacksgranda Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 (edited) 6 minutes ago, oaksoft said: Are eulogies a new thing? I've been to about a dozen funerals and have never heard one given. "a dozen funerals"? Prior to lockdown I used to get to about a dozen funerals a year. Nine, anyway. My wife has enough relations to keep me supplied in funerals for life... Edited January 20, 2022 by Jacksgranda Typo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSaints1877 Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 6 minutes ago, oaksoft said: Are eulogies a new thing? I've been to about a dozen funerals and have never heard one given. Perhaps because the people you associate with led very boring lives. -4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leith Green Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 40 minutes ago, oaksoft said: Are eulogies a new thing? I've been to about a dozen funerals and have never heard one given. Its not a new thing for a family member to get up and say a few words. Its horses for courses, but many families prefer someone who actually knew the deceased to say something - rather than a cleric who never actually met them (which seemed to be the norm in the 80s) doing the entire gig. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 Had to do three readings at funerals so far, one this week. They’re bad enough, not sure I could do a eulogy though as it’s the personal bits that break me. Having heard a few, can’t argue with the simple things of “he/she would say this, loved a bit of that and had no time for such and such”. Things that made them happy or proud are worth a mention. Really hope I go before Mrs Mathematics as she wants me to recite every Arnie one-liner at hers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leith Green Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 5 minutes ago, mathematics said: she wants me to recite every Arnie one-liner at hers Including "I'll be back"? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 5 minutes ago, mathematics said: Really hope I go before Mrs Mathematics as she wants me to recite every Arnie one-liner at hers. "I'll be back" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 I had to do the eulogy for Mrs. RN#2 because there really was no one else who could.It was a bloody awful experience 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 3 minutes ago, oaksoft said: That number probably won't increase much for me either as we don't really have much to do with either side of the extended family now. Nine a year is brutal. Can't imagine too many will match that number. Plucked that figure out of thin air, tbqh, but I go/went to a substantial number of funerals every year, certainly in the course of my lifetime I've been to a lot more than 12. I think in the last year there have been about 4 deaths on my wife's side of the family, one on mine, and three here in the village. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 Sorry for your loss and I hope you get enough together to give her the send off she no doubt deserves. The best eulogy I've seen personally was a friend of mines died and his wife was giving one and said something along the lines of "And to all his friends at the snooker hall, thank you. You made him the man he was and he always had a smile on his face thinking about going out and seeing you. Every Friday. Every single Friday. Oh - and just as you all took my husband every Friday to the snooker, his funerals on a Friday so I can keep you all away from that snooker!" We were all a bubbling mess and it just hit the right spot. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted January 20, 2022 Author Share Posted January 20, 2022 Thanks for all the tips and thoughts. Going to get my head around it tomorrow, hopefully. Our dad pegged it last June (my brother did his eulogy), and we still have his ashes. As they're both from Dundee we'd planned to sprinkle his ashes at the Ferry at Easter. We can do them both together now, but our sister can say something then. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 Think of the biggest lesson your mum taught you, what the qualities and things she did were that you admired most about her. Tell people ‘This is hard to do, but I love my mum and I want you to know why she meant so much…’ then go into a wee short story about a memory or experience that has shaped your life that other people will hear and automatically relate ‘aye thats her alright’. I had to do one for my gran, it was awful to write and I had to hold it together big time but I got there, just a couple of wee anecdotes, my gran was a bit of an outrage so managed to make people laugh and that helped, but dont go looking for a ‘joke’ if there isnt one. Just speak from the heart and tell people why you loved her, what she meant and how you’ll go on after this keeping her memory close and the lessons she taught you in your own life. I am really sorry for your loss, hope you’ve got a decent family/friends support around you and you’re coping as best you can. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 20 minutes ago, Inanimate Carbon Rod said: Think of the biggest lesson your mum taught you, Mine hit me with a stick and more regularly with a Scholl sandal. I doubt bringing that up would've been a good idea 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 I've got to do one for my own mum next Wednesday and I've no idea how to start. She was 82 and had had dementia for at least 18 months, it's very sad for us all but a relief at the same time. There will be about 30 at the crem and it's being streamed to Austrailia, Canada and Switzerland. Shitting myself.First of all, sorry for your loss.When my dad passed away I sat down to write a few notes to help the minister, and ended up pretty much writing the eulogy for him.Start with the factual stuff, e.g.Where and when she was born, her parents, any siblingsHow she met your dad, wedding etcWhen you and any siblings were born Work life if she had oneThen on to interests, holidays, any wee stories or memories you or family or friends want to share.If you aren't used to standing up and speaking in front of folk, my advice would be either to pick one person and speak as if you are talking to them, or pick a spot on a wall or something and talk to it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted January 20, 2022 Share Posted January 20, 2022 44 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Mine hit me with a stick and more regularly with a Scholl sandal. I doubt bringing that up would've been a good idea My granny used to hit my mum with a scholl sandal, but she never hit me so its all good. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted January 21, 2022 Share Posted January 21, 2022 Sorry for your loss OP. As for eulogies, something like this should be avoided. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted January 21, 2022 Share Posted January 21, 2022 As Jonno let rip with the stolen Kalashnikov, and Squarehead fired off a round of monkey puzzler, I looked down at the towel-head I'd just slotted. I didn't stop to think about it long; we all get slotted sometime. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 21, 2022 Share Posted January 21, 2022 On 20/01/2022 at 14:49, mathematics said: Had to do three readings at funerals so far, one this week. They’re bad enough, not sure I could do a eulogy though as it’s the personal bits that break me. Having heard a few, can’t argue with the simple things of “he/she would say this, loved a bit of that and had no time for such and such”. Things that made them happy or proud are worth a mention. Really hope I go before Mrs Mathematics as she wants me to recite every Arnie one-liner at hers. You can just play this: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted January 26, 2022 Author Share Posted January 26, 2022 Did it earlier and I thought it went okay. I was quite calm until I had to get up in front of everyone, but then the nerves kicked in and my voice turned into a bit of a warble. What did help, strangely, was the the fire alarm going off after about a minute. It lasted about a minute, and at first everyone just stared in silence thinking "oh f**k", what do we do? It was a false alarm, but given it was at the chapel at the crem, myself and some others started smiling at each other, but not quite laughing. Oddly, it helped though and relaxed me. Despite it being quite a mundane speech, I've now been called brave and amazing for picking it up again and finishing it. Never want to do it again though. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 Sorry to bring back an old thread. I was asked to write a poem for my uncles funeral. I do write poems, but usually cannot write "on demand" and only when I let them come naturally. Anyway, that's what I've come up with. Do let me know if it's shit. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 27, 2022 Share Posted August 27, 2022 It's perfect mate. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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