Imposter Syndrome

[BFTD]

6 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Used to feel that way about my job but now I'm know I'm pretty good at it.

However, I still feel that way about being an adult and life in general. I see folk talking about moving house, getting work done on their car, re-doing a kitchen or bathroom, kids going to school, having a garden, owning a home, being a parent, having a partner, having savings, having a pension and loads of other things and simply can't relate at all.

I used to work at a place where that was exclusively the kind of shite people yakked about all the time. Regular updates about the current value of their house. Nary a mention of portable covert sexual appliances.

You can take solace in the fact that you're undoubtedly more interesting that any of them.

[Derry Alli]

Everyday at work. 

@++Ammo - Airdrie++ is the best thing to happen in my game and he really should leave his company and join mine so we could start a YouTube channel then retire off the subs after a decade.

[Derry Alli]

13 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

I see folk talking about moving house, getting work done on their car, re-doing a kitchen or bathroom, kids going to school, having a garden, owning a home, being a parent, having a partner, having savings, having a pension and loads of other things and simply can't relate at all.

Are most of these things what you want though? 

I know guys who have big houses, nice motors and a pension pot that would make your heart stop. I've never wanted any of those things and although they're mates, the conversations just see me switch off. I've a pension and it's quite healthy - but I won't be, nor really want to be, around ti spend it.

[Inanimate Carbon Rod]

I suffer quite badly from imposter syndrome (please no impersonator jokes) too, i think it stems from caring about what you do. I cant say it gets easier but as you go through your career you’ll get moves, promotions or develop evidence that helps the idea of believing in yourself/abilities a little bit. Sometimes it can be a good thing strangely, i know my limitations and dont worry about asking for help. 

[Venti]

Don't we all doubt ourselves?

As was said preveiously there's a certain 'ideal' lifestyle we're supposed to attain.

Not all of us want that, so I guess it's just stay true to yourself & your own happiness.

Spoiler

Bit philosophical for me.

 

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, Richey Edwards said:

Everyday is a school day. Nursing is big on what the Nursing and Midwifery Council (the governing body) call Continuous Professional Development which is career-long learning. You need to evidence CPD as part of the re-registration process to continue practicing.

I've lost count of the amount of things - treatments, procedures, guidelines etc that I've heard nurses/doctors/psychologists mention that I'd not a clue about and had to look up. Such moments I have begun to think of as learning opportunities rather than thinking "oh f**k I really do know f**k all".

Yeah I find talking about it helpful as well. A lot of the time it helps me to realise how irrational I am being. 

At least worrying about whether I'm actually any good at what I'm doing shows that I care about what I do, and the effect that it has on the people I'm looking after.

Remember, most learning is on line now, just click through the screens and tick the box at the end.

38 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Used to feel that way about my job but now I'm know I'm pretty good at it.

However, I still feel that way about being an adult and life in general. I see folk talking about moving house, getting work done on their car, re-doing a kitchen or bathroom, kids going to school, having a garden, owning a home, being a parent, having a partner, having savings, having a pension and loads of other things and simply can't relate at all.

It's not as much fun as you make it sound.

[AnderooMFC]

One of the people I follow on Twitter has been open about having imposter syndrome. Been in a band for 18yrs, had three albums top the UK Rock and Metal charts, sold out tours and still gets it. Never had imposter syndrome in a lasting way myself, but one thing that I have found true is that you never realise how much you do know until you have to explain it to someone else. Had moments helping new starts at an old job and came away like "I actually do know a lot of this."

[BFTD]

15 minutes ago, AnderooMFC said:

One of the people I follow on Twitter has been open about having imposter syndrome. Been in a band for 18yrs, had three albums top the UK Rock and Metal charts, sold out tours and still gets it. Never had imposter syndrome in a lasting way myself, but one thing that I have found true is that you never realise how much you do know until you have to explain it to someone else. Had moments helping new starts at an old job and came away like "I actually do know a lot of this."

Is Ian Watkins allowed to tweet from prison?

[AnderooMFC]

4 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Is Ian Watkins allowed to tweet from prison?

Only one of their albums went to the top according to Wikipedia and not sure if they were selling out tours, but not them anyway. Not sure he has imposter syndrome either, the only other place he could belong would be in a pine box according to general consensus.

[Central Belt Caley]

I get it from time to time, but I think it’s because I have a tendency to focus on the negatives. I could do 100 brilliant things in a week but if I’ve made a mess of something even if it’s an easy fix or had no real consequences I’ll still focus on that in my head.

[Thistle_do_nicely]

My first ever proper, full time, grown up job years back (no graduate, just a few various low to mid tier wageslave positions to date) I got flown abroad for a week training. First day the IT were struggling to get my computer set up and my first hour I was sat with my thumb up my arse pretty much.

Then more or less left to my own devices once I started for real, and it was terrifying. Ended up packing it in within a week, still feel really shitty and they were nice about it, said they just wished I'd spoken up sooner. Might have had a fighting chance at it if I got another shot at it these days, but c'est la vie.

 

These days - it still comes in (at work, in the car, in bed, wherever) and my god its hard to fight off. This is the best explanation of it I've ever seen.

 

Hard not to hear it when you realise you've done something incorrectly, or misunderstood something, or whatever. I envy people that can just power through their mistakes, I really do.

Edited April 10 by Thistle_do_nicely

[scottsdad]

I used to get this a fair bit. In the civil service I got back to back promotions, managing a team if folk all at least 10 years older than me. That felt harder than it was (I am still friends with most of them)

It goes away with experience.

About 3 years ago I realised that nobody says no to me at work. Folk do what I ask. I started making changes that I would never have dared to do beforehand. Huge changes. Stopped being timid or asking permission. Just been doing shit, and challenging others to do the same. I couldn't have done this 5 years ago.

Give it time and experience.

 

[djchapsticks]

10 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

I feel like a fraud and it is only a matter of time before I am found out.

This might sound silly and irrational as I have got to nearly the end of university. However, I can't shake the feeling that I'm not actually good enough. 

It took me a long, long time to get over this feeling at my work and in life in general and accept that I'm actually quite good at my job.

Two things I learned from it though and hopefully one or both will help:

1) Nobody is watching you 24/7 or pre-occupied with what you are or are not doing on a micro-level. Even if you are having a shite day or week, it won't make a difference in the big picture. What you think is a catalogue of stupid errors will likely not even be noticed by those in charge as they are too busy trying not to make and arse of it to their gaffers, who in turn....you get the picture.

2) Self-awareness is never, ever a bad thing. Some of the most dangerous and reckless people I've ever worked with had the perfect blend of utter stupidity, an absence of self-awareness and misplaced supreme confidence that what they were doing was 100% correct and they were infallible.

Impostor syndrome is horrible, though. It's a little more palatable when you realise that everyone bar the most ridiculously stupid in life will suffer from it at some point though. To me, I try and see it as a conscious acceptance that I don't know everything and there will always be a knowledge gap somewhere if someone else knows but I don't...but these gaps can be filled.

[alta-pete]

You nailed it earlier @Richey Edwards - every day is indeed a school day. 

Turn up with that motivation and awareness to learn from everything and you’ll be fine, no matter how daunting it may initially seem. 

Turn up like you know it all every day and I’d expect there’s a cropper coming your way. And worse still, you’ll not see it coming. 

[LuboMoravcik]

10 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

I feel like a fraud and it is only a matter of time before I am found out.

This might sound silly and irrational as I have got to nearly the end of university. However, I can't shake the feeling that I'm not actually good enough. 

It's normal to doubt yourself, especially when things get tough. I've experienced it myself in the past but I manaed to get through it. Two key things are that you should never be afraid to ask for help, whether that's academically or work, or to do with something you're struggling with personally. The second thing is to remember that no one has it all figured out and we all go through our own battles and challenges. You're likely a lot more capable than you realise. Break difficult tasks down into smaller chunks if that helps you manage.

[Hedgecutter]

I got asked to be a reviewer for a respectable academic journal last week.  I declined with a pathetic made up excuse because I don't see myself as being good enough to be an 'academic', even though I've already written a published paper and a PhD thesis on the very subject.  I feel that I exist to be reviewed by proper people, not the other way around.

Edited April 10 by Hedgecutter

[DiegoDiego]

I guess this is the opposite of imposer syndrome, but I really am not comfortable with praise. When people give me heartfelt compliments at my job I feel I don't deserve them because I'm just doing the job I'm asked to do, treating people as I would wish to be treated, and that's not something which should be singled out for recognition. It got to the point where I quit my last job because I was getting so many good reviews or kudos from head office simply for being myself. It just felt wrong.

There's no way of writing that without it coming across as bragging, but if you saw my paycheque then you'd know I've little to show off about.

[velo army]

9 hours ago, DiegoDiego said:

I guess this is the opposite of imposer syndrome, but I really am not comfortable with praise. When people give me heartfelt compliments at my job I feel I don't deserve them because I'm just doing the job I'm asked to do, treating people as I would wish to be treated, and that's not something which should be singled out for recognition. It got to the point where I quit my last job because I was getting so many good reviews or kudos from head office simply for being myself. It just felt wrong.

There's no way of writing that without it coming across as bragging, but if you saw my paycheque then you'd know I've little to show off about.

That's as good as example of so-called imposter syndrome as any. It's the idea that deep down you don't deserve the nice thing and that someone will find out that you have it and take it away while giving you into trouble.

Whether it's praise, success, wealth, love or safety, it all boils down to a belief that it isn't for us accompanied by the fear that other people will see this (to us self evident)truth any moment. 

Often those of us who experience this weren't loved unconditionally as children. We only got the praise, hugs or other positive attention if we behaved a certain way, got good grades or perhaps it was given out inconsistently depending on our parents' mood (or sobriety).

Unconditional affection tells the child that he is worthy of receiving this without having to do anything for it. That belief translates to the wider world where he has unconditional permission to pursue his desires and to fulfill his potential. 

Anyway, I came on here specifically to tell @Richey Edwards that I don't think he's even qualified enough to start a topic on this .

[BFTD]

14 hours ago, AnderooMFC said:

Only one of their albums went to the top according to Wikipedia and not sure if they were selling out tours, but not them anyway. Not sure he has imposter syndrome either, the only other place he could belong would be in a pine box according to general consensus.

I like how you had to check, just in case it was him  

[AndyM]

Despite the Master Degree and Honours Degree, experience and professional qualifications I also keep waiting to get found out.

I've been in my current job for 11 years and am seen as an expert in my field but there is a ton of stuff I don't know and sometimes instead of accentuating what I do know I can find myself thinking I'm going to get flamed about stuff that I don't. I've been in so many meetings where I just want to fade into the background and hope I don't get asked to talk. I'm normally quite chatty and appear confident at what I do but the imposter syndrome always nags away at me in the background.

I don't have the ability or desire that certain Edinburgh public school types seem to have to basically bluff and bullshit their way through professional life with an air or confidence backed up by absolutely nothing.