ICTChris Posted Thursday at 15:06 Share Posted Thursday at 15:06 We've had Covid, we've had monkeypox. Now it's time for meal deal borne e-Coli to come and kill us all. The Health Security Agency has confirmed that one person in England has now died in the e-coli outbreak that has been linked to supermarket sandwiches. The agency has been tracking an outbreak linked to salad used in sandwiches for a variety of supermarkets. As of a few days ago around 274 cases have been identified in the UK with half requiring hospital care. The symptoms of this specific type of e-coli infection are diarrhea, vomiting, fever and stomach cramps. There is no treatment for the infection, with most sufferers recovering after several unpleasant days. Advice is to wash your hands, wash fruit and veg before eating and not eat Tesco sandwiches. Is there a more pish way to die than being killed by a Tesco meal deal sandwich? How do P&Bers plan to spend the Tesco meal-deal e-coli lockdowns? Would anyone like to buy some of my PPE, guaranteed to prevent this, knockdown price of £100bn? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefybake Posted Thursday at 15:11 Share Posted Thursday at 15:11 I read that it was the lettuce .. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted Thursday at 15:12 Share Posted Thursday at 15:12 (edited) Lettuce pray it doesn't turn into an outbreak and the number of casualties romaine as they are. Edited Thursday at 15:15 by Alert Mongoose 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted Thursday at 15:17 Share Posted Thursday at 15:17 It’s probably just the tip of the iceberg. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted Thursday at 15:42 Share Posted Thursday at 15:42 tEs-Coli 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted Thursday at 16:03 Share Posted Thursday at 16:03 Probably get double Tesco card points if you catch it, though. Who'd have thought Tesco putting the squeeze on suppliers so it can cut prices would lead to this. I'm shocked. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Belt Caley Posted Thursday at 17:00 Share Posted Thursday at 17:00 At what point do I need to go to Tesco and buy 8 packets of Pasta and 96 toilet rolls? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted Thursday at 17:15 Share Posted Thursday at 17:15 Have had a think about E-coli and decided that, on balance, I'm against. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southernrover Posted Thursday at 17:23 Share Posted Thursday at 17:23 22 minutes ago, Central Belt Caley said: At what point do I need to go to Tesco and buy 8 packets of Pasta and 96 toilet rolls? Reading some of the symptoms above surely you need more than 96? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted Thursday at 17:29 Share Posted Thursday at 17:29 I knew a guy who's sheepdog used to steal his drugs. He was an E-collie. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted Thursday at 17:36 Share Posted Thursday at 17:36 "Diarrhea, vomiting, fever and stomach cramps." Isn't that a standard response after a tesco sandwich? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MazzyStar Posted Thursday at 20:52 Share Posted Thursday at 20:52 Quarantine Wishaw 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted Thursday at 21:08 Share Posted Thursday at 21:08 I used to get a Tesco sandwich every day to eat at work. Thank f**k I got fired in January. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted Thursday at 21:29 Share Posted Thursday at 21:29 I thought there was an O somewhere in diarrhea. My spellchecker wanted to correct it to diarrhoea but I went with Chris. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted Thursday at 21:54 Share Posted Thursday at 21:54 Having been hospitalised for a month from E-Coli O157 previously, I can confirm that it is not fun. Blood running out your arse that you have very little control over, stomach pains that feel like something from an Alien movie and your body feels like it has just sprinted the London Marathon. You can't take any antibiotics to get rid of the infection, as the bacteria mimics the antibodies and slips its way into the bloodstream to cause inhalation to your kidney. Do me a favour, pick the sushi. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loonytoons Posted Friday at 09:35 Share Posted Friday at 09:35 12 hours ago, Nkomo-A-Gogo said: I thought there was an O somewhere in diarrhea. My spellchecker wanted to correct it to diarrhoea but I went with Chris. He got E. coli wrong so I wouldn't be too sure. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted Friday at 10:59 Share Posted Friday at 10:59 13 hours ago, johnnydun said: Having been hospitalised for a month from E-Coli O157 previously, I can confirm that it is not fun. Blood running out your arse that you have very little control over, stomach pains that feel like something from an Alien movie and your body feels like it has just sprinted the London Marathon. You can't take any antibiotics to get rid of the infection, as the bacteria mimics the antibodies and slips its way into the bloodstream to cause inhalation to your kidney. Do me a favour, pick the sushi. I'm sorry for what you went through, but let's be honest. This thread is about making puns and jokes. Lettuce move on now, thanks. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted Friday at 11:30 Share Posted Friday at 11:30 13 hours ago, johnnydun said: Having been hospitalised for a month from E-Coli O157 previously, I can confirm that it is not fun. Blood running out your arse that you have very little control over, stomach pains that feel like something from an Alien movie and your body feels like it has just sprinted the London Marathon. You can't take any antibiotics to get rid of the infection, as the bacteria mimics the antibodies and slips its way into the bloodstream to cause inhalation to your kidney. Do me a favour, pick the sushi. Shitting Stories thread for this, er pish (and shit) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted Friday at 11:40 Share Posted Friday at 11:40 40 minutes ago, scottsdad said: I'm sorry for what you went through, but let's be honest. This thread is about making puns and jokes. Lettuce move on now, thanks. Sorry didn't mean to make this an argument between the two of HUS. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted Friday at 11:54 Share Posted Friday at 11:54 20 hours ago, ICTChris said: Is there a more pish way to die than being killed by a Tesco meal deal sandwich? Greenied simply for this Little Gem of a line. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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