Dullest Tournament

[Shotgun]

1. No extra time. Straight to penalties if level after 90 minutes.

2. No back passes in, or into, your own half.

3. At least three players from each side in the opposition half at all times.

4. No single colour strips.

5. No English commentators or presenters for games involving teams from the British Isles.

6. If VAR can't make a decision within 15 seconds, then no clear and obvious error has occurred. The referee's original decision stands.

7. Seeding to be based on a poll held by P&B.

8. Yellow cards and/or fines for diving. Applied retroactively if necessary.

9. Goalkeepers can leave their line the moment the taker's run up starts. If the taker still chooses that stupid stop-start run up, they'll lose any advantage.

10. Kylian Mbappe, Erling Haaland and Mo Salah are overjoyed to discover they have Scottish grannies and, thanks to a rule change are now eligible to play for Scotland. 

Sorted.

[Sonam]

On 06/07/2024 at 03:22, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said:

No chance. Not even close. Almost dished out a reddy for this blasphemy. 
 

1994 was awesome. Some of the best games in tournament history bookended by a couple of absolute duds. 

I also remember really enjoying 1994, the hosts were great hosts too. Also enjoyed Ireland's wee run.

[PSJ.84]

6 hours ago, Shotgun said:

9. Goalkeepers can leave their line the moment the taker's run up starts. If the taker still chooses that stupid stop-start run up, they'll lose any advantage.

Zaire like this. 

[Red Kite]

9 hours ago, McGlovin' said:

Life circumstances and where and who you watched the games with makes is a huge deal when remembering back.

Suppose similar to your Italy-Germany experience, they'll be people who watched that France-Portugal game in Hamburg in person who might look back fondly in a decade or so, give that they saw Ronaldo, Mbappe, Griezemann, Bernardo Silva etc.

Going back to Euro 96 though - some of the crowds were terrible - sub 20,000 attendances in Newcastle and Nottingham in the group stages. The knockout stages had 9 goals in 7 matches. Aside from the Germany-England semi-final that was a more than decent game between well-matched teams, the only other thing of note was Poborsky's chip at a half-empty Villa Park. But the sun and the whole Cool Britannica bollocks that summer means it was (rightly) a big deal in England, although the tabloids were a bit naughty - Piers Moron declaring Football War on Germany a particular low.

Yes, I am definitely starting to show a bit of "in my day" as I get older.  It was certainly a different vibe watching a home tournament in the capital city.  I enjoyed the music of that period, but was never a fan of the marketing constructs such as Cool Britannia, Girl Power or whatever.  Piers somehow manages to keep making a living which a lot of folk find baffling, but we are talking about a country that allows Kelvin MacKenzie airtime.

[Scary Bear]

14 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

I would rather drawn games just went straight to penalties tbh. Another 30 minutes is needless IMO.

Yep, if they knew they didn’t have the cushion of extra time, it would maybe change the philosophy of teams like France and England. Maybe not though, given they are so good at penalties these days.

[throbber]

I’m not holding out much hopes for good games but I really hope Spain put France out as they’ve actually played nice football at the tournament and France have been awful. Netherlands have also had fairly entertaining games as opposed to what England have served up so Spain Netherlands final is what we all should want.

[Alert Mongoose]

12 hours ago, McGlovin' said:

Going back to Euro 96 though - some of the crowds were terrible - sub 20,000 attendances in Newcastle and Nottingham in the group stages.

Was any particular reason given for this? I don't remember noticing it at the time but seems pretty incongruous now.

Edited July 8 by Alert Mongoose

[Richey Edwards]

1 minute ago, Alert Mongoose said:

Was any particular reason given for this? I don't remember noticing it at the time but seems pretty incongrous now.

Brexit.

[GordonS]

21 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

Was any particular reason given for this? I don't remember noticing it at the time but seems pretty incongruous now.

Having full stadiums for every game at tournament finals is a relatively new thing. For group matches not involving the host there were usually big gaps until this century. There's a thesis for someone exploring why in one generation we went from locals not being interested in games on their doorstep even though tickets were cheap, to folk paying 200 Euros to watch mundane group games as a neutral.

Travelling supports are also much bigger now too.

[Sergeant Wilson]

32 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

Was any particular reason given for this? I don't remember noticing it at the time but seems pretty incongruous now.

Cost and attitude probably. Locals not being interested enough to pay for games that didn't have many English based players.

[Lurkst]

4 hours ago, Red Kite said:

Piers somehow manages to keep making a living which a lot of folk find baffling

Regarding Piers, I noticed this story at the weekend. How many of the "locals" actually had a clue what was going on?

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/fife/5033238/piers-morgan-england-jigger-inn-st-andrews/

 

[Skyline Drifter]

12 hours ago, Shotgun said:

9. Goalkeepers can leave their line the moment the taker's run up starts. If the taker still chooses that stupid stop-start run up, they'll lose any advantage.

In a sea of otherwise nonsense there's merit in this one. I like it. These stutter, virtual stop, 'run' ups irritate the bejesus out of me. Anything that hands the keeper an advantage in such cases is good for me.

1 hour ago, GordonS said:

Having full stadiums for every game at tournament finals is a relatively new thing. For group matches not involving the host there were usually big gaps until this century. There's a thesis for someone exploring why in one generation we went from locals not being interested in games on their doorstep even though tickets were cheap, to folk paying 200 Euros to watch mundane group games as a neutral.

Travelling supports are also much bigger now too.

I think the latter's a far bigger factor than the former. That and corporate sponsor giveaways. I'm not convinced locals would pay 200€ for a random ticket any more now than they would have in 1996. 

[Swarley]

12 hours ago, Shotgun said:

9. Goalkeepers can leave their line the moment the taker's run up starts. If the taker still chooses that stupid stop-start run up, they'll lose any advantage.

100% agree with this. I'd also add that when the referee blows his whistle the taker can kick the ball which would stop some keeper's ludicrous delaying tactics.

[A Diamond For Me]

I loved Euro 2004.  Seeing a diddy team win it by parking the bus and taking the one chance they create is great, seeing England and France doing it is sad and boring.  That and the Czech Republic coming back from 2-0 down to beat the Netherlands 3-2 - still for me one of the best games I've seen.  Nothing at this tournament has come close to that for excitement. 

Also none of the traditional big guns have collapsed in a way that's at all amusing, like England going out in the groups in 2014 or France in 2002.  

[The Holiday Song]

Not directed at anyone here, but always think Greece get a bit hard done by for 2004. They weren't swashbuckling obviously, but they beat good teams in the knockouts without needing penalties. They beat Portugal twice, and indeed only got through their group because they scored more goals than Spain.

[Chripper]

A big part of the problem is the lack of genuine out-and-out number 9s. 

Take the semi finals of this Euros. The projected attacking players will be: Yamal, Morata, Williams; Mbappé, Griezmann Muari; Malen, Depay, Gakpo; Bellingham, Kane, Foden. 

Out of those twelve, only two (Kane and Morata) are strikers. The other ten are no 10s, inside forwards and outside forwards. 

That's just how football has evolved in the past two decades or so.

Looking at the Euro 2000 final, the forwards were: Djorkaeff, Zidane, Dugarry, Henry; Totti, Delvecchio. So it's definitely not a new thing.  

Just four years earlier it was: Kuka; Kuntz, Klinsmann.  

A drastic shift in just four years. 

It's not a new thing, but the tactics of flooding the midfield and condensing play definitely plays a big part in the general lack of goals/chances created. 

I don't usually remember football tournaments. Once they're done, they're done. However, I did grow up during Euro 96 and France 98 (it helps that Scotland participated) and I love both, to this day and thought they were very entertaining.  

I loved USA 94, too.

[Red Kite]

42 minutes ago, Lurkst said:

Regarding Piers, I noticed this story at the weekend. How many of the "locals" actually had a clue what was going on?

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/fife/5033238/piers-morgan-england-jigger-inn-st-andrews/

 

The oxygen of publicity.   I am no golfer, but I'd expect everyone to know to show a bit of decorum in the vicinity of a great sporting venue.  I am sure all those tourists who come from all over the world were most aggrieved

[Derryboy62]

This has been by far the most boring Euro's in history. 

A couple of good games to start the tournament but after that you can count the number of good games on 1 hand. 

Some of the games have been that bad to watch that I'm half falling asleep watching them. So called superpower teams playing for penalties from the start.  

[throbber]

The thing about this tournament is that we’re at the semi stage and there’s not been a defining moment of the tournament ie something that we’ll remember it by in 20 years time. 
 

2010 might have been a shit World Cup for example but you had Lampards goal that never was or the Suarez handball on the line all before the semi final.

Maybe Jude Bellinghams overhead equaliser might count but it surely looses some points as it was against Slovakia.

 

 

[KnightswoodBear]

My already waning interest in international football wasn't helped at the start of this tournament by Scotland absolutely shitting the bed in the most public fashion possible and pretty much eradicating any excitement I'd had for the tournament.

I've probably watched as few games as I've ever watched in a major tournament, and the vast majority of games I have watched have been turgid pish that should get football stopped.

Austria - Turkey was a cracker, though.