Where's yer tool?

[BFTD]

There's chaos on the streets. The news encourages everyone to stay indoors, but it's only a matter of time before the zombies/furriners/giant rabbits/hoodies are at your door. You're going to have to defend yourself and your family. What weapons do you have to hand? Are you trained in hand-to-hand combat? Do you have any experience in administering a stout deterrent to ruffians? Perhaps you have people to take care of these things for you?

This is the thread for warning P&B about your capability for violence. Get us all telt.

[TxRover]

2 hours ago, BFTD said:

There's chaos on the streets. The news encourages everyone to stay indoors, but it's only a matter of time before the zombies/furriners/giant rabbits/hoodies are at your door. You're going to have to defend yourself and your family. What weapons do you have to hand? Are you trained in hand-to-hand combat? Do you have any experience in administering a stout deterrent to ruffians? Perhaps you have people to take care of these things for you?

This is the thread for warning P&B about your capability for violence. Get us all telt.

'Murica, we've all got guns.

[Swarley]

I believe the answer to the question can be found at 12 Ruel Street. Password is "Bring Yer Maw".

[BFTD]

2 minutes ago, TxRover said:

'Murica, we've all got guns.

Aye, but maybe @carpetmonster has a gatling gun or some shit.

You'll never know if it's time to upgrade unless we discuss it.

[Richey Edwards]

I've always wanted to skelp someone in the face with a paper plate full of squirty cream.

[Nkomo-A-Gogo]

I've watched all of Steven segals documentaries (movies)

 

 

 

 

 

 

[carpetmonster]

2 hours ago, BFTD said:

Aye, but maybe @carpetmonster has a gatling gun or some shit.

You'll never know if it's time to upgrade unless we discuss it.

Meh, that'd involve going to Indiana to buy one, and just no. 

[Barry Ferguson's Hat]

As Johnno let rip with the stolen Kalashnikov and Squarehead fired off a round of Monkey Puzzler, I looked down at the Towelhead I'd just slotted. I didn’t stop to think about it long, we all get slotted sometime.

Edited 17 hours ago by Barry Ferguson's Hat

[oneteaminglasgow]

6 hours ago, BFTD said:

There's chaos on the streets. The news encourages everyone to stay indoors, but it's only a matter of time before the zombies/furriners/giant rabbits/hoodies are at your door. You're going to have to defend yourself and your family.

In this situation, I would give in and accept my fate almost embarrassingly quickly to be honest.

If I was being generous to myself, I’d say the amount of posters on here I could take in a fight will be in the single figures.

[Venti]

Battered Chuck Norris once.

[hk blues]

41 minutes ago, oneteaminglasgow said:

In this situation, I would give in and accept my fate almost embarrassingly quickly to be honest.

If I was being generous to myself, I’d say the amount of posters on here I could take in a fight will be in the single figures.

At the same time? 

[Central Belt Caley]

I’ve been on Danny Dyers Deadliest men 3 times, so you don’t want to mess with me 

[ParsJake]

Wot  faackin' tool?

[Melanius Mullarkey]

2 hours ago, Venti said:

Battered Chuck Norris once.

Single or supper?

[Bert Raccoon]

Only person on this site who I'd have any concern about in a square go is yer man @Bairnardo. @Shandon Paras well if he wasn't a clumsy f**ker 

[Bairnardo]

Just now, Bert Raccoon said:

Only person on this site who I'd have any concern about in a square go is yer man @Bairnardo. @Shandon Paras well if he wasn't a clumsy f**ker 

Nows the time brother, iv been living high on the hog the last couple of weeks and consequently am a fat wee basturt atm. 

[tongue_tied_danny]

I’m the only man in history of mankind that’s swum across the straight of Johor, to avoid the police.

Nobody’s ever done it before, not because of the currents, nothing like that; it’s sharks. Not shark-infested but none of the locals go paddling or swimming.

Sharks’ll have a look at me and think yeah I know how to do them, you punch them right in the f***ing earhole and they swim off.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Im more of a lover than a fighter tbh.

So aggressive finger blasting from me.

[doulikefish]

Shout loudly at them and run away 

[Hedgecutter]

I'd quite happily hold somebody over the edge of a cliff and drop them after saying a corny one liner (cf. Commando), but I'd probably have regrets about it later when I inevitably think of something punchier I could have used.