welshbairn Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 11 minutes ago, Fullerene said: Actually I did go to school in Inverness. That was me trying to sound like an American. Didn't pull it off I guess. Obviously it doesn't convince anyone unless I use the word "awesome". Oh well, how disawesome? unawesome? aweless? "Awe don't kick me I've got my glasses on" would be the correct response. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fony Titz Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Burnt tongue is slightly Agreed, Pizza being the main offender. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fony Titz Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 IT folk. I know there are plenty on here so Im not talking about the plebian spotty bearded pony tailed (or baldy in Div's case) types who turn up and state "Ah, i'll need to run a batch programme to see if the IP has a POP runtime error and I need to port the FTP to the JCB". Dont care but carry on anyway. Im talking about their bosses who dont have a fucking clue what they are doing and set up a system whereby it takes 3+ days to get anything fucking working again. Have you tried turning it off and back on again? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 17 minutes ago, ICTJohnboy said: So you were just taking the piss then? That's okay... In fact you've now gone up in my estimation. Thanks. BTW: I know your name isn't Bud. I heard some Glaswegian calling you Jimmy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 When the barber absolutely nails the haircut you were after then continues to snip away and end up making a complete balls of it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Lazy c***s in my work who are so fucking useless and inept that they're incapable of standing up from their desk and collecting the stuff they've printed off from the printer. "Oh, you heading to the printer? I might have some stuff there..." or worse, when I'm standing at the printer collecting or scanning my stuff, they say "could you stay there a minute, I'm just printing something". First couple of times I thought it was just coincidence but now I'm sure the c***s are just waiting for me to move first before printing their entire days work off. I might bring in a shredder, anyone who asks me to collect their print I will do so and enter it straight into the shredder and the person with the most requests at the end of the week gets showered in the confetti of their laziness. Failing that, I may need to resort to kicking pies. We have a card for our printers, so your stuff only prints out when you go to the printer. They are also networked so you can go to any printer in the building to print your stuff out.This is one of the few improvements to my organisation since I joined them nearly 10 years ago. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 16 minutes ago, Scary Bear said: We have a card for our printers, so your stuff only prints out when you go to the printer. They are also networked so you can go to any printer in the building to print your stuff out. This is one of the few improvements to my organisation since I joined them nearly 10 years ago. We all have our own codes for printers and photocopiers. There is one absolute walloper who will invariably clog up the photocopier for hours on end by starting a job that requires 100 copies of 100 pages, and will then just f**k off out of the office for the day. He is unaware that the majority of everyone else's copying is done through his code... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Ugly lassies with big tits. Such a cruel waste. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Our main printer has been down for a week. Thats 7 days until some c**t is now finally coming along to sort it out (see my previous IT post). In order to be able to connect to another printer, you must put a request in to IT to come and do that for you. Waiting time, 4 days. And they wonder why productivity is at an all time low. A highlight of school was being able to choose a different printer in a different class in the IT department. Printing highly offensive and incriminating stuff about the particular teacher or pupils in that classroom then a short while later hearing that teacher going mental, demanding to know who printed helped pass the time no end. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 13 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: Ugly lassies with big tits. Such a cruel waste. Don't see why, it means you don't have to look at her face. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 11 hours ago, Fullerene said: That was me trying to sound like an American. Didn't pull it off I guess. Obviously it doesn't convince anyone unless I use the word "awesome". If you want to sound American, just add the word 'already' to every sentence. Also never, ever use the words 'here', 'there' or 'now' unless they follow the word 'right'. This one might be a bit tricky, but if you see a black guy, shoot him. (This might only work if you're a cop.) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 21 minutes ago, GordonD said: If you want to sound American, just add the word 'already' to every sentence. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 58 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Our main printer has been down for a week. Thats 7 days until some c**t is now finally coming along to sort it out (see my previous IT post). In order to be able to connect to another printer, you must put a request in to IT to come and do that for you. Waiting time, 4 days. And they wonder why productivity is at an all time low. Have you started printing your posts from on here? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Ugly lassies with big tits. Such a cruel waste. You're looking at it the wrong way chief. Some ugly b*****d is going to end up with this lassie. Surely he deserves a set of juicy fun bags to enjoy? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 People who print loads are OFTW. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Stop destroying the planet man, save the trees 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 (edited) Took the family out for a meal at our regular eatery. The wife's on Slimming World so she asked me to get her a sorbet, having had one at this place before. The guy at the bar didn't know what a sorbet was. He appeared to be dressed as a supervisor or manager. I can only assume he was on some sort of management fast-track and had little or no waitering experience. I actually trying spelling the word out to him, and he thought I was asking for syrup. I gave up and just let the wife share my ice-cream. Edited September 20, 2017 by nsr 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Ugly lassies with big tits. Such a cruel waste. Ah. One of my favourite bands ever. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Tv channels increasing the volume when the adverts are on. Kuntz the lot of them 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Trackdaybob said: Tv channels increasing the volume when the adverts are on. Kuntz the lot of them You make it sound like the channels actually turn up the volume on your TV. I either mute the TV when adverts come on or flick on to another channel. Hate adverts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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