philpy Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 3 bouts of the skitters today. No doubt i'll be giving another statement to the porcelain polis shortly. Still, im at work so im getting paid for it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 3 bouts of the skitters today. No doubt i'll be giving another statement to the porcelain polis shortly. Still, im at work so im getting paid for it. nothing better - time and a turd 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) Personalised number plate? That's normally the clincher. My work just bought a car with reg (ศ ฤ 666) I have to drive clients round in this guest what they spot straight away ETA - it's not personalised Edited April 1, 2014 by SlipperyP 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 3 bouts of the skitters today. No doubt i'll be giving another statement to the porcelain polis shortly. Still, im at work so im getting paid for it. Go fucking home! No one else you work with (especially the customers you're coming in to contact with) wants your bugs! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 People that allow their dog to run up to you, and proceed to tell you that "she's harmless" whilst the animal is slavering all over your leg. Get your dogs under control. Another dog-related one. When a dog owner tells you to "clap" their dog. What does that mean? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Go fucking home! No one else you work with (especially the customers you're coming in to contact with) wants your bugs![/quote)]Im a bit better now. Im eating a load of fruit and veg at the moment, which probably aint helping. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Go fucking home! No one else you work with (especially the customers you're coming in to contact with) wants your bugs![/quote)]ou Im a bit better now. Im eating a load of fruit and veg at the moment, which probably aint helping. Curry tonight - In fact (not real a fact) Get curry down you, you'll shit & shit but it will clean it out (old wives tale), I say rice soup "works here and you can imagine the shit that happens here" Boiled rice & a chicken stock cube work wonders 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rustyarabnuts Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 wimmen!! missus going out to get fags for herself,asks her to go up to asda and get a multi pack of sweets,"Im going to Jet garage" she says jet garage is about a mile and a ahalf away, asda is two minutes up the road FFS!!!! talk about saving petrol yadda yadda yadda 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 A couple of lassies in my work. Egregious behaviour IMO. You should loudly slurp your coffee out of a cereal bowl. That'll show them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 "Oh your birthday is April 1st? So that must make you a fool?" Aye pal that's the first time I've heard that in 40 years. What day were you born? Oh aye really, so that must make you a complete twat then. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Car Dealerships. They've got literally acres of parking spaces but they make their staff park in the streets, blocking access to residents and being a general PITA. Effectively, they're using public space to increase their own profits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 You should loudly slurp your coffee out of a cereal bowl. That'll show them. Just caught one of the lassies using the same mug to eat her lunchtime soup. I asked her sarcastically if she ate all three meals out the same receptacle, but I don't think she could see my simmering seethe and resentment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Just caught one of the lassies using the same mug to eat her lunchtime soup. I asked her sarcastically if she ate all three meals out the same receptacle, but I don't think she could see my simmering seethe and resentment. Sounds like a jakeball. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 You should have opened your fly and flopped it out then. I'm not sure how you do things up your neck of the woods, but it's a bit of a no-no down here in the Central Belt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeeperDee Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 First game back after spraining my ankle and my foot gets caught in a divet and I'm sure I've sprained it again. Nae luck. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Hipsters and their stupid fucking glasses. I have thick rimmed glasses. I also have a duvet set with several thick rimmed glasses on them. Some are sunglasses. My mum bought me it. Either my tooth has chipped, I have a chip (potato) in my tooth (serious possibility) or my wisdom tooth's not coming in properly. It's not causing me any pain but it's irritating me and I don't really know what to do. I'm going to have to go to the dentist if it stays the same. I hate the dentist. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Hipsters and their stupid fucking glasses. 20/20 vision, just a pair of empty frames Dressing like a nerd, although I never got the grades I remember when the kids at school would call me names Now we're taking over their estates Being a dickhead's cool 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 (edited) Do you wear skinny jeans, with turn ups, a Harrington and a tammy when the suns out? If so, you're an annoying hipster c*nt. Yes, I don't know what that is, yes, no. I don't even wear a tammy in the winter! #s0h1p5t3r Edited April 2, 2014 by Smurph 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 The tesco petrol station in Dingwall must be closely linked to the Gaza Strip or something. I fucking hate Dingwall You should go to the West End Filling Station instead. Petrol might be slightly dearer but you can pick up a cheap bottle of Malt to make up the difference. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 (edited) Another dog-related one. When a dog owner tells you to "clap" their dog. What does that mean? I can totally understand this one TBH. My mum's German Shepherd for example, the worst it'll do is maybe lick you to death but if somebody shows the fear and backs off then it'll think they're dodgy as f***. As a result, a mutual dislike and a Catch 22 situation occurs. Give her a quick clap on the other hand and you could potentially be best buddies forever. My Mum also has a bit of bother with the UPS delivery guy who unfortunately (for him) is forced to wear a helmet at all times. The dog has a serious mistrust of anybody who feels the need to wear a hat at all times. Can't say I blame it TBH. Eta: you don't even need to clap the dog. Just lower your hand and let it have a briefest of sniffs to show you don't give a f***, otherwise a lot of them will be onto you. Not ideal if you hate dogs I understand but the human initiated dislike can be mutual. Kind of like you saying "morning!" to somebody and then thinking "what a c***" when they blank you. Edited April 2, 2014 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.