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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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Mastermind tonight:

Contestant 1: The Iliad

Contestant 2: History of Native American Indians

Contestant 3: History of Hong Kong

Contestant 4?

The tv programme The IT Crowd.

p***k.

What I wish they'd do in such instances is ask questions the likes of: "In episode two of the second series, how many ring binders are on the upper shelf behind Moss' desk?".

That would soon sort 'em out.

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All good supermarkets operate a '3's a crowd' policy at the checkouts and kiosk. If three or more customers are waiting, extra staff are called.

But no, not Tesco's at Hermiston Gait! They'll happily allow a massive queue 15 deep at the kiosk, and ugly wee troll wife will be in absolutely no hurry and stand blethering pish as the queue grows!

Actually raging.

Yes, I know that one. Someone's idea to put the lotto, cigarettes and customer services at one place and have only one person covering all three despite the massive queue forming.

Yet you have others sat at tills twiddling their thumbs as no one goes to them

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Yes, I know that one. Someone's idea to put the lotto, cigarettes and customer services at one place and have only one person covering all three despite the massive queue forming.

Yet you have others sat at tills twiddling their thumbs as no one goes to them

Similar to this, baker's, cafes etc in the morning where there'll be a big queue forming out the door because some folk want a fancy supermochalattefuckinchino which one till person deals with, whilst the Lord of the Bread stands faffing around for 5 mins, doing f*** all.

In a way, it's all made worse when you finally get served and you've got your stuff and chance within 20 secs.

Basically, I demand that a Coffee drinker's slow lane should be a standard implementation across this country. That or get those machines to f*** and get back to the good old days of giving them instant Kenco.

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I was at a gig on Monday which was full of plebs throwing their half full (half empty) plastic pint tumblers of Tennents into the crowd. The full place ended up smelling like a toilet unless of course they were launching cups of pish.

Was at a gig at the Barrowland in Glasgow a few years ago and a guy was repeatedly throwing the contents of tumblers into the crowd. A guy walked up and punched him in the face. That's justice, kids, Glasgow style.

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There's just something about hearing a broad Scottish accent saying 'we' when referring to Liverpool fc that really grates.

I was in Subway a few weeks ago and while I'm getting served three guys walk in behind me, vaguely tipsy, or maybe their accents just made them sound slightly impaired. I've no idea where the accent was from specifically but it sounded like Aberdeen to me. In my head they were from Aberdeen at least. Anyway, they're talking about Arsenal and Mourinho and English teams and so on and the sort of struggles they face, then one turns the talk to Celtic's domestic travails and he keeps saying "we"

Absolutely awful

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Celtic fans who, when they can't avoid commenting on every Fernando Ricksen post on facebook, start with "I'm a Celtic fan, but..." as if they are doing some superhuman act by commenting. These posts usually finish with shite like #HH and #YNWA, followed by lots of Rangers fans saying "Respect"

Just f**k off

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The word 'poop'. Some adults actually use it in a non-ironic way. What the f**k is that about?

My mum uses that when changing our kids nappies - that or jobby (again not with any hint of comedy).

Doing a poo all the way for me. Jobby when in the right company.

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We use poop with the wee man. He started giggling at the word. It's a strange word. Your mouth does the shape of your rusty sherrifs badge when saying it..

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We use poop with the wee man. He started giggling at the word. It's a strange word. Your mouth does the shape of your rusty sherrifs badge when saying it..

I have no issues with adults using the word when talking to children. It's unacceptable otherwise. A forced, desperate attempt to make a rather disgusting thing seem cute and adorable. It won't be long before sexual assault is referred to as 'rapey-wapey'.

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