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The Mattydfc Awards 2015


Addie

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No 39

Spain

Whoa! Hauld the bus!!!

zo4EMKC.gif

Cuntometer Reading: too high

Reason

f**k knows. I think he's pretty sound.

'Spain - Boring b*****d who doesn't appreciate humour; as evidenced by his boring username story and his boring attempt to start a second Highland Derby thread after one had already been created as he deemed my one to contain too much patter.'
Stephen Malkmus; a poster who claims:


If you'd timed this to coincide with the Penguin Parade you would have def ended up having a threesome. Bitches love penguins.


Spain is the Deputy Leader of the famous FUN Party who cruised to power on the Pie and Bovril election. Show some fuckin respect Stephen.

He wasn't the only one who voted obviously, but he was one of the few who gave me reasons at least.

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Well you keep whining, so I can see what he means.

Stop your fucking whinging Helen, you tedious c**t.

No: 49

GordieBoy80

Score on the Cuntometer: 6

Why?

'His fucking Football Manager Status updates'

'GordieBoy80 has been an active member of this forum since 27th December 2008. During his time he has fallen in love, lost in love and found out his ex-girlfriend poster was a bit of a p***k on the Dundee Bus Crawl.

Noted for his status updates, he is also very active on Twitter, he has a staggering 885 followers and has used his popularity to great effect; standing for election in the West Fife area for his beloved Scottish Socialist Party. Here is a snapshot of Gordie's election campaign, taken from the public domain.toXJupi_.jpg

No expense was spared on his campaign. Unfortunately he lost out to a tramp people took pity on after a jobby thrower and his 4 year old kicked in the street.

Most infamous for his love of Status Updates. He is the most prolific user of these. Here are some of his fine work:

'First time watching the Football League on 5 and have one question, which puddle drinker decided that copying Scotsport SPL was a good idea?'

'My legs are covered in bruises from Saturday. The North West Stand seemed rammed.'

'Just entered Angus. He doesn't seem pleased.'

'Greggs macaroni pies are rank tbf. Stephens ones are much superior.'

'...has been involved in a cracking match between Basel and Sion which finished 6-3. #FM15'

'Roses are red, violets are blue I've got a gun, get in the fucking van.'

Gordie was last seen heading to Rosyth, forming a welcome to Scotland party for Polish immigrants.

Gordie is alright in real life apparently. This was from one of his voters who nominated him as they find his posting style chronic. Despite his failings on here, I would agree and I am one of his 885 followers on twitter so he can't be all bad. 49 is a reasonable place for him.

No 39

Spain

Whoa! Hauld the bus!!!

zo4EMKC.gif

Cuntometer Reading: too high

Reason

f**k knows. I think he's pretty sound.

'Spain - Boring b*****d who doesn't appreciate humour; as evidenced by his boring username story and his boring attempt to start a second Highland Derby thread after one had already been created as he deemed my one to contain too much patter.'

Stephen Malkmus; a poster who claims:

Spain is the Deputy Leader of the famous FUN Party who cruised to power on the Pie and Bovril election. Show some fuckin respect Stephen.

He wasn't the only one who voted obviously, but he was one of the few who gave me reasons at least.

Pleasing.

Surprised to see Spain though tbh, seems a bit boring but not too bad a poster.

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'VikingTON: Brutal patter and all-round internet bellend and compulsive liar. Also talks complete and utter shite about football.'

8mileBU

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'f**k it, I don't care if he doesn't post much anymore. Number 1 is The Phoenix. An abomination of a poster who seems to exist to post shite, unfunny puns. Reminds me of the cringey uncle everyone has who keeps making shite jokes around the dinner table when everyone just wishes he'd f**k off.'

Gaz

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'f**k it, I don't care if he doesn't post much anymore. Number 1 is The Phoenix. An abomination of a poster who seems to exist to post shite, unfunny puns. Reminds me of the cringey uncle everyone has who keeps making shite jokes around the dinner table when everyone just wishes he'd f**k off.'

Gaz

:lol:

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hey guys, good too be back xxx might have had a few vinos so ignore the spelling :lol:

No. 38

Granny Danger

Cuntometer rating: Craig Thompson (BEAST)

Known for: Boring the arse off everyone on the Politics Forum, saving pictures of young Dundee posters to the w**k bank and falling for every wind-up going

'Granny Danger - a geriatric old tosser who I would love to help euthanise.'

Deefiant

'I hope I grow to be like him when I hit my eighties'

Fide

'Draw me like one of your French girls'

mattydfc

'f**k of hibs c***s b*****ds :( :( :( '

Eoin Doyle

Havent been on here for a while but i'm sure granny's that miserable old fud that didnt like my banter, probably not had his hole in years :lol:

hes not a patch on vikingTON anyway, who never took me took me up on my date offer btw :( nearly ate the whole salad bar at Harvesters myself I was that upset

I only logged on to this thread earlier on when I saw it was locked. Now it's unlocked!

I don't really understand the concept of this thread.

Neither do I understand the comments in this post or the post itself. If this reinforces the concept of me of a doddery old c**t then so be it.

Mid you, if the post I'm responding to is a come on of some sort I'm game. :)

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