I went to cognitive behavioural therapy. My therapist done nothing but try to get me to think delusional and try to claim I was an alcoholic. I am 21 and I drink over the weekends.
No matter what spin he put on my biggest situation, eventually something has got to give, (a select few of my dad's side of the family know I exist) so I felt like all I was doing was building myself up to be knocked down when it does eventually come to a head.
My Grandparents (who I am in contact with) aren't getting any younger and the time will come when they pass away. I have kept a lid on things for my Dad and their sake. He should probably have came clean about the whole thing to my step sisters years ago, but I appreciate we all make mistakes.
What I have learned myself to do is to generally not give much thought for other people and start looking out for number 1. The correct time for me to tell them they have a brother. The ball is in my court and Its up to me do deal with things responsibly. Its not their fault.
A time when it wont cause as much upset as it would just now. But I have learned to accept that I may not be able to pay my respects to my Grandparents who stuck by me, and were put in the position to hide their own Grandson, but thats neither on my conscience or their's.
Thats the cards I've been dealt with in the lottery of life, so theres no point in being defined by it. I've contacted my dad for the first time last september for 15 years, we have an understanding, I have a good life and there are millions out there in worse positions for me. Luckily although I have a dad who is not much more than an acquaintance, I have a wonderful Mother, and step dad.
What I do is set myself up with the worst and think about how bad it really is. Once I see its not as bad as first thought, strategise every possible outcome, ensuring I come out the other end with people knowing I dealt with it in a respectful, calm and dignified manner.