Sweet Pete

I've always been of the "sex is sex" mindset. As long as it's consensual there probably isn't anything I wouldn't do.

I'd have been great at gay stuff and public masturbation. That's pretty much my standard hobbies already. It's the being told what to do and then doing it stuff I'm shite with.

I don't have the balance for the circus acts. I drink. Thanks mate.

I started a thread on here a bit over five years ago (I know the timeframe thanks to Facebook's "on this day function" which reminded me of starting my current job and doing my military tests etc) about joining the army. My issue at the time was that I was in a work environment that was so incredibly awful it was making me seriously ill and in my desperation to find a way out of that I reverted back to my childhood ideas of playing soldiers and (literally in this case) running away to join the army. It seemed a logical choice at the time in a desperate situation. I passed all my entry tests with scores 27% above average. And then I hurt my knee playing fives and they dropped me like a hot stone. And you know what? It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I immediately got fired, got a new job and escaped the problems that had sent me in that direction in the first place. I'd have made a dreadful soldier.Eta: my point being that, for me, though I have zero interest in the crown, the government or any of that shite, the military represented a literal escape, cliché as that is.

Alright, Swamps?

Well, I can only answer for myself, but for me, a competent baboon is one who catches loads of vervet monkeys. Having never actually caught, nor eaten, a vervet monkey, I would have to concede that by my own standards I am an incompetent baboon.

In what way does Kilmarnock's league position make me an incompetent baboon exactly?

Talent was never an issue with Cookie. Alan Adamson told me he was "a silly boy who needs to screw the nut". When he first broke through I thought we had a real find, his career since then suggests otherwise.

A great way to freak people out is to employ this same strategy on public transport. For example, if you walk onto a bus and find it empty but for one passenger, take the empty aisle seat beside them.

Well we already have the midget...

I've done it twice in the past. Both times it was fine, but I found not restricting myself and allowing myself to enjoy a drink when I want one is more gratifying.

"Not with those trainers on in that profile picture"

Go with what would make you happiest.

They might score the odd goal here and there (even a stopped clock is right twice a day after all), but they're both pish. I can assure of that fact.

Having had the misfortune to watch Lee Miller for Kilmarnock last season, I can assure you that he's shite. And Daly is a crock who's finished.

I admire your optimism, but can't agree.

That's because they're both shite.

I'd be astounded to see Fraz play in the middle. Never been a part of his game.

Yass, get it up ye, Nishy!

Your signature makes me laugh everytime I see it, sonsism.

We won't be paying up f**k all, this is real life, not Champy. They'll be told they're surplus and free to find a new club, contract cancelled.