Sweet Pete

Nobody was taking the piss out of depression on that thread. Still, why let the truth get in the way of a good story, eh?

Well, in fairness, some people do tend to get really upset when you kill yourself by bomb on the London Underground.

I reckon you might have the most niche and obscure mutant superhero power I've ever heard of. Woman: "Help, the baby's trapped in that burning house!" Bleeding Rectum Man: "Are you bleeding from your anus?" Woman: "!" Woman: "Em, actually... yes, I am!" BRM: *flies off to save baby*

Ah, see, that's actually a decent shout, but not one I can physically achieve at work. The only option nearby is a Tesco and their Gaviscon or Rennies or milk.

Willing to give anything a go at this point, Rico. Mularam, Sudaram!

Heartburn cures that actually work? I generally find things like Gaviscon, Rennies etc do hee haw. Suggestions welcomed.

Hand grenade in the gub, but only out in an open field to lessen clean up. That's the boy.

That sounds like a lot of work. I'm far too lazy to top myself in such a, frankly, show-offy way. Yours is too show-offy. Stop being a show off. This isn't Saw, this is real life, man!

This is a landmark ruling. Death is now to be treated reverentially on here or not discussed at all.

Just because a topic is serious or macabre, doesn't mean that it should be above light hearted discussion. If anything, taking the horror away from things via humour is healthy and to be encouraged. How many times have we seen, for example, Pie and Bovril threads about murders, killing sprees, terrorism, disease outbreaks, natural disasters, helicopter and bin lorry crashes descend into humour? No topic should be above being made into something that can be poked fun at and discussed. Shame the mods have closed a clearly lighthearted thread. I trust that joking about death on P&B will now be verboten in all topics.

Been there, pal. Stressful process and some uncomfortable tests, but necessary. Best of luck.

Neither does your da

I don't drink out of puddles because I'm not a demented tramp

Wife's no' well, wean's no' well, even the dug's been sick. Been running about after them all day. Saturday's been a total write off

Console yourself with the fact that he's dead now.

Good blog, young' un. There's no way you're as good looking as me though.

The only thing superhuman about you is how you get such volume in your hair

The Moonster is about 4 and a half foot tall and skinny as a whippet. He's barely human.

Completely understandable.

I like Adam's Ma Strum jacket. I offered to swap him a green Stone Island for it in a pub once, but his was too wee for me.

Went to Inn Deep last night (plus about 10 other pubs) but didnt bump into Knightswood Bear this time. My mate got us thrown out for falling into a table of lesbians, spilling their food everywhere and sending them apoplectic

Hopefully she's wearing underpants with spikes on the inside.

Some snooty bitch has just put the phone down on me.

True enough, youngster. True enough. Just got this horror show of a shift to get through first...

Amen, Milesy.