Sweet Pete

I tried reading his post, but couldn't see it without my glecks.

Speccy b*****d.

The other one is those muppets on the folding bikes with tiny wheels. Fucking west end syndrome.

You'd be fucking bonkers to get British gas to replace your boiler. They'll replace the boiler and tell you that you need the gas intake pipes replaced and try to sell you a yearly service that's far beyond what you need. It will total out at four grand and they'll get you to apply for a secured loan with Black Horse that's tied in for about seven years. Ask around, find a qualified Gas Safe registered heating engineer and tell him you'll supply a Baxi or Vokera (approx 27cdi roughly 500 quid) and you'll give him 300 or 400 cash to fit it and sign it off.

A particular P&B user, who accuses me of being a jakey, keeps pints beside the pitch at the p&b fives and goes to the bar between matches. You know who you are.

No, Tom. No it wasn't.

Just had my head glued at the A&E after bashing it on the bathroom cabinet when I got home from work. I'm a clumsy oaf.

Did you go to the one next to the railway bridge that gives away free gifts (gift wrapped I might add) with every pick up order?

I assume you've been given co-codamol 30/500? The real dogs danglies are codydramol, dihydrocodeine or tramadol.

Oh, I want to play the ridiculous questions game! The Phoenix, why didn't I remember to buy milk yesterday?

Whoever you use, make sure it ISN'T WJC Coaches of Airdrie. Robbing b*****ds took my wedding day payment in advance to drop the evening guests down to the venue and then pick them up at 1am and return them to the pick up point. They picked them up and took them to the venue, but never came back for the 1am pick up. Chased them a fair bit after the wedding, but they've done a fairly good job of vanishing.

I don't even remember that Ask me when I'm sober next time

And you didn't get in contact with your old pal Sweet Pete? Craig, I am disappoint.

Hing aboot, whit? I'm no' reimbursing nae c**t, Matty, ya wee radge. You're getting done in 4 times next season. Nae quarter.

She likes the ching?

Hibs are shocking. Shame for all the Hibees in the ground to go there in hope and then have their team put up a show like that.

Hibs don't appear to be even trying to win the ball in midfield, they're standing off Hearts at every opportunity and not pressing them at all, giving Hearts free reign to control play and possession. If Hibs get horsed it'll be entirely their own fault as the players look like they don't have a clue what they're doing.

Hibs look very poor. Hearts are dominating everything. Noone in a Hibs jersey has impressed, even simple passes are outwith their capabilities at the moment. Their left back has been particularly poor, the stand out if you will.

Does the second sentence refer to a separate dream?

Quite looking forward to this game. I don't have any fealty towards one team or the other, but the fact that it's a derby and all that that entails at least makes it more interesting to a neutral, especially given the abscence of the Old Firm.

Met Honest Saints Fan at Arbroath v Dumbarton yesterday, but I was drunk and nervous about the game so can't really remember what I said to her, hopefully not anything too stupid.

I'd definitely buy it again.