Sweet Pete

It almost looks as though you're trying to say that there was violence in the stands at an Arbroath game today. But that couldn't possibly be true.

Out of morbid curiosity I clicked on the new P&B link to the Women's Football Forum. Other than the announcement topic there are no topics of dicsussion

But not necessarily correct.

You really should know better than to use the term "lawyer".

I'm genuinely disappointed, Andy.

Surely you realise that the line is used in an ironic fashion? You're better than that, Andy.

The snow fall in Glasgow is pretty heavy and large flakes at the minute.

You're clearly not "down".

Aye, that works.

Tuesday after next, surely?

I couldn't choose who to have as my best man out of my best mates (2 were in the running), my brothers (I have five of them, though only one is a realistic choice), my nephew (well, my oldest nephew) and my dad. I had previously asked one of my best mates in a drunken stupor some years ago but now that I'm actually getting married I decided to have one of my brothers, my oldest nephew and my two best mates all as groomsmen, with one of my mates from the party giving the speech. The wife's having 4 bridesmaids anyway so it'll be even this way and saves me having to choose between them. I did make sure I picked the best speaker of the lot for the speech though

If you're even remotely pissed after 10 pints in 12 hours then you're a lassie. No, Tam is not a legend for having 10 pints in a day. 10 pints in a day is f**k all and, even if it were a lot, it still wouldn't make him a "legend". Ranulph Fiennes is a legend, Tam is just a p***k from the depths of my imagination.

You've no idea, Dave. We can't all be happy drunks

It's always for something totally inane too, like "OMG Tam drank 10 pints last night. LEG-END!"

The overuse of the word "legend" when describing anyone gets on my nerves.

Well, you'll have to share it with us now, so we can judge for ourselves just how appalled to be...

Conversely, however, your maw's pie is significantly worse than most others.

Isn't it one of the tell tale signs of a serial killer if you pee in a bottle and store it about the house etc?

Went for a job interview and told the company I work for currently that I was at the bank.

Work stress. Pretty much all of which stems from one person.

You're like the black Kilt.

Ach, don't worry about it wee man. I've had two separate 10% warnings and a three day ban in the past, the first was for calling keithgy a word that has been replaced in the P&B swear filter by "Swampy" and the second time for using an Angolan footballer's name to make rhyming slang of the same word in reference to Keith. It's not the end of the World.

I've started it so many times, but just can't get through it. The sheer size of it is partly the reason, but also I tend to flit from book to book or have more than one on the go at a time.

What'd you get up to, you cheeky wee scamp?