Sweet Pete

I'll be there.

He's been training with Killie.

What is SuperTed's secret, magic word?

Shit, I'm gonnae have to bin my "love the Sons, hate the gays" flag now.

Feel free to give yourself a dead arm for being one of those weirdo dog folk.

I don't know of any lap clubs in the town, but the local ladies are indeed a classy set. Routinely dressed up like they're going to Las Vegas when in actuality they're having a night out at Bakers or The Garage.

What's the protocol in question? Are you not allowed to touch the queen? So, basically, she's a stripper.

Toast with butter and honey? Get in the fucking sea you deviant c**t.

All the teachers at my school were middle aged alcoholics. There's definitely a theme there.

Bankies are a good Junior side. Dumbarton are a good Championship side. There's a significant gulf between the two and it's simply blind ignorance to refuse to acknowledge that fact. Hopefully there won't always be such a gulf though, as it's good for West Dunbartonshire for the teams in the county to be thriving, and I include Yoker (yes, they count as West Dunbartonshire, Holm Park is on the Clydebank side of the border) and Vale of Leven in that.

Ooft. Ruginald Bairn's child bride was it? Minter for Ruggy.

Oh hang on, who was that bird who was always exchanging teenage flirting patter with some dundonian wee guy? It was eye bleeding stuff. Her?

Had a meltdown? Could be anyone. My guess is that guy that wears St Mirren pyjamas and doesn't believe in gravity.

Is he the wanking sleeve boy?

I won't hear a bad word against that lassie. She's doing great work.

Right enough, aye. I'm a fitba slut. Like Lisa Cuddy. [emoji23]

Oh no, they're onto me. Also, how is three teams "about five"?

I'm feeling jealous of Aberdeen's recruitment. I shouldn't as we're not in the same market for players and we've recruited well, but I keep flashing back to the years they continually finished bottom six and the various pastings we've given them and getting a pang of the green eyed monster that they can pay transfer fees, generate transfer fees from sales and sign high calibre players.

Non discriminatory. I like that.

There have been a number of great romances born of this here Internet website chat room discussion forum. Ruginald Bairn and his child bride, Mrs M and half the male lower league fans, SaintSam and Clyde Til We Die, Smurph and ICTChris and KnightswoodBear and WaffenThinMint just off the top of my head. We're a romantic bunch.

I'd match with you, Drk, you dirty, smelly, Ayr b*****d. I'd have to disinfect myself afterwards, but I'd match with you.

Multiple times too. I've got around the rejection by simply having loads of accounts. It's the magee approach to tinder

Hang on, I'm not on Tinder...!

Where did you get my photo from?

That's just because she wanted shot of you for a few hours.