Sweet Pete

I was eating a hamburger last week and felt a crunch, assumed it was gristle, swallowed it and plowed on. After eating I was sure I had a seed from the bun stuck in my tooth and couldn't get it out, so stood at the mirror with a cocktail stick to get it and discovered I had, in fact, broken half my tooth off and eaten it.

"He's overly literal. He says things he means and expects other people to as well" "He's too good looking" "He makes me so aroused that I can't focus" Bloody dames, always whinging.

Was a shite left back, mediocre centre back and decent centre mid for Sons. Just didn't want quite work out for him there, still a handy player. Especially for junior level.

We've got a cult hero in the making. I'm starting a flag for him. Edit: it'll be a tricolour flag, obviously.

Aye in a couple of years when he's released on a free to sign for Clyde you can get 25% of the f**k all.

Yes. We scraped a one all draw. Miserable. That game perfectly sums up Chapman's irritating habit of fucking about with a team for no good reason.

Fair play to him. We're well known Tim sympathisers ourselves. Hail hail.

He played in a midfield five alongside Stevie Murray in the centre against Albion Rovers in a dreadful midweek draw away from home. I was fuming with Chapman that night for his needless tinkering that ruined the game, and my mood wasn't helped by the stinging cold.

Burbidge is a good wee player. Hopefully he'll stay with the Bankies, be a shame for them to lose their good players.

Little is probably irreplaceable I reckon. I've never been convinced by Kasubandi though.

Converting a 6' 2", overweight, painfully slow, lazy b*****d into a dynamic, attacking left wing back? #stevieaitkentacticalgenius

I'm waiting for a scan, hence why Stevie hasn't given me a squad number yet.

Happened to me the other day playing on the living room floor with my son. Happens occasionally.

It has, yes.

I see Ross County have signed Jamie Lindsay on a year's loan. Always liked him during his time at The Rock.

Never closes any fucking doors. Drives me cuckoo-bing-bong-bananas.

On Chris Johnston, he was nicknamed wee Messi when at Killie and was briefly a first choice player, showed plenty of trickery and skill. However, as usual with inexperienced players and wingers, he was very inconsistent. Add to that our usual modus operandi of having a rotating door for players and managers, plus a bad injury, and he was down the pecking order and released. Looked better when he first made the team as a teen than he did after a few seasons of playing time, but there's a decent player there sometimes and maybe with time and coaching he could hit form again and more regularly.

It was pre-Alloa I saw him. Good to hear he's improving.

Saw him when he was with The Sons. Decent attacking up the left flank and putting crosses in. Could improve defensively. Hopefully do well.

How the f**k do you know my name!?!

My daughter was born on Wednesday night. A wee smasher. She's a touch jaundiced so they've kept her in but there's a chance they'll get home tonight. I'm fair thrilled.

Clog Von Tulip.

I have absolutely no idea. A mate contacted me to say this kid's coming on trial and did anyone have digs for him.

Dutch youth international on a trial, apparently.

Chaps, anyone got a spare room available for a budding young Sons player from the Continent? Funding available.