BFTD

Found one of these in our garden this morning, still boxed Edit: may be NSFW

Beer taster? Ah, well done. Bloody successful people with their impressive jobs

Awake - Emo Vader stars as a wealthy heir who discovers that the anaesthetic he's given during a heart transplant leaves him paralysed, but conscious and able to feel pain. The publicity and pre-credits blurb for this film makes a big deal out of anaesthesia awareness as the premise, but it's something of a meaningless gimmick that could have been dispensed with by a change in narrative perspective. The film's actually about The film's interesting enough for the most part, but mystifyingly resolves itself with a minimum of drama. Quite why the makers decided to go down the story route that they chose is beyond me, as the final third of the film is quite flat and interest is lost well before the end.

Business owners who spent good money on a fax machine 30 years ago and are damned well going to make sure that they get their money's worth out of it. They exist. I'm sure the P&B massive will have some tales of offices that don't allow their staff to have any of this unnecessary internet nonsense.

Howdy fit people! Looking to buy an exercise bike in order to stave off the inevitable heart attack; couldn't give a tinker's cuss about any muscles apart from that one. Well, maybe the todger too, but I understand there are drugs for when that gives up the ghost. Anyway, just wondering if anybody has any advice for things to look for in an exercise bike. I've got a budget of about £200, but could maybe push a bit higher if there was something super-sexy that would be useful. All advice greatly appreciated!

She doesn't look in good health, actually. Is "double shift down the pits" a euphemism?

Combination of aging, weight loss and plastic surgery on the eyes, methinks. Better with a little more weight IMO.

Just hurry up and get these c***s in government so we can all get what we deserve.

D'oh! Damn those Nazis; always one step ahead.

Jesus, too many excellent posts to greenie tonight.

Sounds fair to me. They worked there and contributed to the social security pot. The US could always have deported them if they didn't want this situation to arise. Not like the US was more than happy to receive Nazi scientists and research or anything Incidentally, one of the few declarations you have to make when entering the US is that you haven't contributed to genocide, specifically the Holocaust. I always assumed that a tick in that box would be an automatic turn-around, but perhaps not.

That's awesome. We really need to make up some better names for our leagues. f**k the SPFL and their slavish copycatting.

I can beat that. Because kids of any age are allowed into any multiplex film* in the US, you'll find utter c***s with newborn babies in practically every showing. My personal favourite was the midnight showing of Resident Evil with THREE different babies, one of which unsurprisingly freaked out big-style during the opening sequence and had to be removed, much to the annoyance of the poor wee b*****d's "parents". Words cannot express. * Most multiplex chains won't show anything over an 'R' rating, and kids can get into anything 'R' or under with a responsible (or irresponsible) adult.

"Can I not just go for a walk the night?"

You have MS Paint, don't you?

Alas, poor Greenock.

Scum. Subhuman scum. The banhammer is the only thing these empathetic b*****ds understand,

It's becoming apparent that a P&Ber's Wives thread is not only desirable, but necessary.

You old romantic

Also, folk who once lived somewhere with a sticky door, and spend the rest of their lives slamming every door they meet as hard as they can. Especially good if they manage to catch your fingers while doing so.

Alright, I got the first half this time, but there's something wrong with your keyboard. Something about a doberman?

Apropos of nowt, there was a lassie in my college class (back when mail was called e-mail) who would accidentally ( ) type 'hotmail.com' as 'hotmale.com'. Cue regular hilarity when her screen was filled with gay porn popups. hotmial.com was another good one; viruses everywhere and a good bollocking from the network tech. But only if she'd been very, very good

WTF? I officially hate children. Who am I kidding? I hated them even when I was one.

Are you murdering the wife before or after Christmas?

The wrestling's fake, but the office politics are real I understand that marrying the CEO's daughter helps too. Maybe Messi can try slipping one to Sepp Blatter's relatives in order to get that elusive World Cup winner's medal.