velo army

Oscar Wilde plot devices thread for this pish.

Gordo, do you have a book of arse puns just lying out?

I was in one in the merchant city (glesga) a month ago. I hated it as I've never been a gamer and I wanted to blether, but it was a strange ane. The lighting and low ceiling gave it a dystopian sci-fi feel. Folk there loved it though. They know their customer base.

Aye I was just bringing it back up as further evidence supporting the charge of said poster being offensively tedious. It wasn't about you. So you shut it.

I jumped about like a loony for a few minutes more out of relief than anything. I got the impression that folk were having a go at pitch invasions for last minute equalisers, but it's just followed the pessimistic puritanism that lies in the shadows of this forum by shaming expressions of ecstatic joy. Fucking hell, the football is where we get to jump around joyously uninhibited. Rejoice in whatever enables it.

If you don't mind paying for others' booze bills then good on you. It means you can comfortably afford it. Not all folk are in that position and it's entirely reasonable that folk should want to only pay for what they ate. Given a'body has a calculator to hand it really doesn't take that long to figure out. As long as you leave a tip. As a waiter I loved serving Nederlanders as they'd pay their own share then leave a few quid each. Always a 15-20% tip from those tables. Tables of Brits doing the same always resulted in being left f**k all though. Chunts.

Aye I've made a wee arse of that. I apologise for blackening your good name. You played no part in that ocular haemorrhage of a thread.

Nah that's about the size of it. Loads of wee man energy and tiresome repetition. The thread where him, numbers and bing were bleating for four pages about fucking Iceland beating England was eye bleeding. Most of the lad's posts are essays that have the same energy as Ted's "liars" speech in Fr Ted. Bowfin. I don't care if Chelsea wanted to keep BG, wanted to punt him or wanted to send him on perpetual loan to bottom three shite. I get that other people do and it's within the scope of this thread to speculate on that with only a pinch of data. Tis the p n b way after all. I want him to sign for a big Italian or Spanish side. I fear he'll end up in some yawnworthy English outfit though.

MOTM according to the BBC website. The omens are good.

You're comfortably the worst poster in this part of the forum. Awful stuff.

Crocker having his usual by spouting utter inanity after Newcastle score. "Go Newcastle! Go St James' Park!!" A moron.

Well? How did he play?

Exactly this. The pundits at Euro 22 were as uninformative and cliche ridden as their male counterparts. A hill I am happy to die on, however, is that Hazel Irvine is the best sports presenter out there and the only reason she isn't getting big fitba gigs is because she isn't as physically attractive as the likes of Gabby, Alex Scott and Kelly Cates.

There's a bit in City Lights where Kelly's character goes to church with his mum. He's never been before and doesn't know what to do. The choir and congregation finish a hymn and he gives it a standing ovation, complete with "bravo!!". It was well acted at the time (necessarily ott) and I still chuckle thinking about it. Anyway. There's a gardening program with Titchmarsh (lovely, lovely man) and he goes around with his team changing people's gardens for the better. He did one for a family whose daughter had a neurodivergency that meant the garden was shaped to her needs for silence and other sensory things. The family were obviously worked hard with her but you could see how devoted and loving they were to all their bairns. Their faces and the face of their wee lassie were priceless. Wonderfully uplifting telly. I can't remember what it was called. Garden Rescues or something?

Exactly this for me. I go to football to catch up with my cousin and Uncle, not to be "entertained" by mindless shite. The half time tunes tend to be louder now too (things an aul' da' would say for this pish) which boils my very piss.

Motherwell getting relegated while we get promoted would be absolutely delicious. It'll be between them and St Mirren. Ross County will again finish top 6. They looked good in the first half against Hearts and on another day would have been 2 up at half time. I reckon they'll have another good season. St Johnstone and Livvy will make up the numbers in the relegation battle, but will be safe with a month or so to spare.

By whom? I don't see people coming out in droves to vote for the most milquetoast labour party there's ever been, and I don't think people will be sufficiently motivated by hatred of the Tories to come out in numbers to tactically vote them out either. I reckon folk have become inured to Tory awfulness and we'll see an apathetic electorate turn out in low numbers, paving the way for another Conservative victory. I'd love to be wrong, obviously, and it could be that my hangover combined with the dreich weather is fuelling my pessimism. I just don't currently see Labour exciting the electorate enough to win.

So that's what fudge packing is. Always wondered.

That is absolutely awful.

I'd love to find out.....

Good thread idea. Connor Barron or Alex Lowrie could have big seasons this year. They'd be my predicted picks.

MT getting called an "illiterate little tit" had me guffawing. Spectacularly disproportionate and beautifully percussive (snare drum in a pipe band). Anyway, Sellick's fans singing YNWA for ages before the game yesterday was nauseatingly tinpot. If they win the title this year I fear a full Latin papal mass before kick off on flag Day next year.

@BingMcCrosbysorry, I tagged you, but my phone won't let me delete it. While you're here, kindly stop engaging with the Iceland chat. Ocular torture.

I didn't watch (I was working) but I'm delighted to hear Fitzy played well. I had the fear when he moved to Norwich and disappeared into their u23's and then moved to QOS that he'd surrendered all potential and was just another Jake Hastie. With Tiff fully fit we'll be some team.

It'll be a sair yin winning the league this season and missing Airdrie and Clyde coming up.