Cosmic Joe

Causing unrest at Kelty Hearts, Queen's Park and Cove Rangers? Good.

Thomson Park is the place to be if, like me, you want to avoid the Scottish Cup final. Lochee Utd v Arbroath Vics 2.30pm kick off

That's also my experience. Bullying, racism, homophobia was rife in the 70s when I was at school. Fights were almost a daily occurrence. My two went to school mostly in the late 90s/ early 00s and it had all become a bit more civilised.

It's a tough shift playing in goals

Best practice would probably be to watch it in your room. Maybe a wee GIRFUY shout on the balcony to release the adrenalin.

Your name wouldn't happen to be William Boyne?

She was brought up in Upper Largo, went to school at Buckhind and claimed to support her local side. "Dunfermline Athletic"

Is the second leg of the play-offs an all-ticket affair?

Auchinleck and Darvel look great prospects when playing at Ayrshire (former Junior) level but they play in villages with a solid fanbase of a few hundred, forking out a fiver to watch a winning side. Different story altogether when faced with paying £15 a week to pay the going rate to attract lower SPFL players' wages without being bankrolled in a place with a population smaller than Brechin. And watching a team that will probably lose far more than they will win.

Probably as much connection with Cowdenbeath High Street as the supporters he refers to have to Govan.

Brett's a very good keeper, and a lovely guy. But we have Jude Smith.

Should be a bit of a shock that the team that came so close to winning the title should lose out to a side scrapping around in mid-table for most of the season. But it isn't really. That's what makes fitba great I suppose.

Yes

Is this game being streamed?

His sons were brought up as Roman Catholic. But you know best.

Dick isn't a bigot, if you are suggesting he is anti-Catholic.

No need. Bobby's a good lad.

Versus Hertz 1985-86. Which was fair enough.

St Johnstone must be feeling pretty confident

Wayne had his back to the camera. Stupidly, I hadn't realised that it was Vardy's barrister. As I said, the questioning came across as rather timid. She still gave the impression of someone with no credible defence.

I'm in London this weekend (soon to be invaded by fucking Chelsea and fucking Liverpool fans - two of the most annoying sets of supporters on the planet). We thought we'd take in this case this morning as we had a couple of hours to kill. Unsurprisingly court number 13 was full, so we were redirected to the overspill court 20 to watch the proceedings on screen along with a number of press. A couple of things came across. Vardy's defence is so wafer thin I actually thought she was being cross-examined by the prosecutor in a slightly laid back manner. At no point did her version of events seem credible. Vardy is actually surprisingly eloquent and not the "daft bint" that some are painting her as. She is however, quite clearly, a nasty piece of work.

A loaded question followed by a loaded answer

Dontcha just love Clyde fans.

A couple of private schools to the north