Had a bit of a drink-fuelled disaster this weekend.
Saturday night, pished on Leffe. Talking to the wife, who was also pished. Somehow we started talking about hair. I needed a haircut and was planning on going for my usual 1-all-over. The wife asked if I ever thought of anything else, considering I've had the same hairdo since the 90s.
I confessed that I wondered what I'd look like completely bald. In my mind I'm thinking that Walter White looked better bald, as did Ben Sisko and a few other TV characters. This led to a very fast escalation from "Why don't you do this?" to "I bet you won't do this, you'll chicken out"
I had my clippers from lockdown. 11 am on a Saturday night, pished, taking all the hair off my head. Then shaving foam and razor. I utterly scalped myself. I'm amazed I didn't cut myself.
I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work.
What I wasn't prepared for was how the scalp would feel. It's like leather. I imagined something silky smooth under my fingertips. Instead, it's like an old slipper that a dog has chewed.
I might go into hiding for a couple of weeks until some of it comes back.