The Golden God

Shay Logan tweeting at ScotRail to complain about his train from Manchester to Carlisle, then when they point out his error, rather than delete or apologise, he doubles down and calls them liars.

The massive increase recently in Scottish people using the word “nonce” and thinking it is hilarious patter. Leave that shite for the English.

On the bus last night and there was some woman on in about her mid 60s, short her dyed red, looks like she goes to the bingo, smokes 30 fags a day, goes to Benidorm every year and complains about all the Spanish and almost certainly voted Brexit. I was disgusted enough by just her appearance as I got on, only to look down and see her horrible wrinkly bare foot out of her high heel and on the floor. Was maybe the worst sight of my life.

Was the term “cracking on” a thing before Love Island? Never heard or seen anyone use it apart from c***s on this.

Ryan Christie has retweeted this, should be given the Scotland captaincy instantly imo

My favourites are the ones saying he didn’t break the law, when there is literally video evidence of him doing it and the ones asking why the reporters filming him outside of court aren’t all being arrested aswell. So stupid and so angry, it is glorious.

It's a half and half, usually pronounced hawf and hawf. Anything else is wrong.

Sauciehall Street is an absolute nightmare at the minute, was on the bus a few weeks ago and sat for 5 full minutes 20 yards from the stop between Charing Cross/The Garage cause there was a Lorry on one side and a taxi on the other and no room for the bus/anything that wasn't a tiny car to get by. The idea was decent enough but the execution is terrible so far, reckon they should go a step further and ban anything that's not public transport and deliveries etc for the businesses. Shift the taxis and ubers to Bath Street/side streets would be a good start.

It used to basically be this but with a stupid w*nky name, people posting pints of Tennents or asking where is good to drink it in whatever town/city etc. Few months ago it got really popular and is now full of studenty p***k, spice boy neds and others with shite patter. To be clear I've always thought calling it a "Big Juicy" is absolutely fucking horrendous chat.

On the subject of languages/understanding, my favourite part of visiting America was realising the Yanks couldn’t understand me when I was chatting to anyone else Scottish. Never thought I’d have to make a conscious effort to speak slowly and clearly to someone else with English as their first language but they couldn’t understand a single word I was saying to Scottish mates/family. It was mostly amusing once we figured it out although did nearly end up getting battered off some big random guy in a bar cause he took massive offence to people swearing sarcastically. Only got saved by a random Lanarkshire woman who lived out there and explained to him we swear all the time.

Keanu Reeves or Steve Austin for me, f**k that on both accounts

The rapper Dave/that random boy and that fucking Thiago Silva song.

Markus Lynn "Mookie" Betts (aye his initials really are MLB). MVP, World Series Champion, world class ten pin bowler and now apparently related to Meghan Markle so Royalty. Been a decent year for him.

Nah you'll get at least evens

Wouldn’t agree it’s an upgrade at all. It’s a guy who makes shite unfunny videos replacing a band who’ve been huge for years. Can totally see why they’ve done it cause of his current popularity but I’d be raging if I’d booked a Sunday ticket and got that fud instead of Snow Patrol.

People who use the word "manageress". Never hear it in person but seems to be exclusively used by complete weapons leaving negative reviews on pubs/restaurants/similar

Boyd retiring is a disaster for Sky Sports subscribers everywhere. Would be funny if Killie got Ballymena, a town that is closer to Rugby Park than both Pittodrie and Victoria Park

Father’s Day on social media. If he doesn’t have FB, why wish him happy birthday on it. Don’t wish him it on FB from your 6 month old wean who has no clue what Father’s Day is. Don’t post about how your dad was a dick and how your maw was your father and how great she is, you’ve got a whole other day specifically for that and also if you’re so appreciate 363 more days of the year. It’s basically just a big pissing contest to see who can have the best da or the soppiest post.

Worked in pubs for years, the people who don't say please/thank you or just generally don't acknowledge you're a human are absolute c***s and it's a sure fire way too make sure you get a long wait next time you're at the bar. Also annoying though is people who try and have way too long a conversation when it's rammed, don't want your life story or to tell you all of mine when it's 3 deep on a Saturday night. Finally, people who don't know what they want, who don't order in rounds when all drinking the same thing and people who don't have cash/card ready when drinks are presented should all be shot. The main culprits are usually middle aged women and groups of 18 year old student wanks.

David Ortiz got shot in the leg in the Dominican Republic last night, nothing official but family saying he’s going to be ok.

5 pages and no mention of Michael O'Halloran being in the Celtic end at a Cup final whilst still being employed at Rangers. Which team would be the best if they only had players who were geniune fans of the team growing up? Celtic/Rangers obvious shouts with Celtic being ahead because of having Robertson.

Not really the same as the other festivals in here, but seems like the best place to put it. The Riverside festival in Glasgow last weekend honestly looks like the worst thing ever, awful music and full of spice boy bams and scheme burds.

Sir Dragonet to win the Derby for me, Betway refunding all losers with a free bet up to a tenner aswell. Also fancy Copper Night in the dash.

I hate them both like any normal football fan should, want Spurs to lose because they've never won it before and it's good fun to slag their bandwagon fans for them never winning any trophies. Also they do have more c***s in their team than Liverpool. Also hope the Guardia Civil have fun battering f**k out of both sets of fans.

Campbell