RH33 Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 In regards to social bit, if she’s at nursery and around other kids then it will help. Play dates (I hate that phrase) etc. You get the stereotype spoilt brat only child. But it’s just that a stereotype and it comes down to your parenting. From you’re posts on here you seem level headed and don’t indulge her. You get plenty spoilt brat not only kids. I always knew I wanted more than one. If I’d not had such a horrendous time during birth the third and then divorce I’d probably have had four. It’s hard splitting time between three. Mine have their moments but then you have a day out with one and find they’re a bit lost without their siblings. Especially the youngest one. My youngest will be 6 in Feb and the thought of starting again would fill me with fear! (Middle one is 8 in April and son is 10) Its a personal choice but everyone and their granny will start asking when a sibling coming and oh you can’t have just one etc. Then if you have a boy and a girl the same people tell you it’s time to stop as you have one of each! Sorry bit of a ramble! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 2 of my daughters have single kids. One is 11 going on 20 and is a spoilt rotten diva, other has just turned 7 and is a smart (in a good way) wee darling.Difference? I can see the difference in the way they were mothered and also the elder was old enough to get spoilt by her granny, my late wife.I never had kids myself, inherited 3 daughters when I came here ( by then 2 adult, one 11) and had a steep learning curve.My observation, one of the single kids is going to grow up being a pain because her mother, however lovely, isn’t strong enough with her. The other, 🤞, should be fine because her mother is a much stronger personality. Maybe she’s also had me around most of the time as well to reinforce things, but also make her interested in things like reading and found practical things, not just on an iPad all day. Helps that her mum and me are also closer and on the same page. For tl;dr depends on kid, situation and opportunities 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 Is anyone an only child/only had one child? Do you wish you had a sibling/had another kid? Aila is 2 now and we're at the stage where we're thinking of another. We've stopped not trying to get pregnant so it could happen any time now. But recently I've been wondering if I'd be content with just the one. I always wanted a wee girl and now have one. And she's made our life easy as far as babies/kids go (so far). No sleepless nights and is really easy to take anywhere as she's really well behaved. I see plenty of benefits to just having one but fear the lack of sibling might stint her a wee bit socially. I don't have any doubts she'd be great with a sibling either. We could afford the strain of another I'm sure but then part of me thinks not having another would mean we could set more aside for her when she's older. The only thing put me off not having another is any negative effect it would have on her. I know my Mrs would be content with just one as well. I can't tell if I'm just being selfish/lazy as well though. The thought of another child does excite me but the thought of starting again with formula and night feeds (if we ever get one!) gives me the fear. Anyone any thoughts? Early days yet as my second isn't even five weeks old yet but so far my older daughter is absolutely loving having a little sister. Took a little adjusting to for the first few days but the love Bea has for Violet already is incredible and I'm very excited about watching the two of them grow up together. I never really doubted wanting a second but equally showed no urgency to have one (we decided to risk it in a moment of laziness) but I'm now very happy she got pregnant went she did as with Bea 3 in April the age gap seems good and it's nice to have the second (and probably/hopefully last) child born when I'm still in my twenties.On the selfish side of things so far the second child is a hell of a lot easier than the first. To the extent I'm wondering why I found it so hard first time round as so far this has been an absolute breeze. It's not that she's doing anything different than Bea did but you just know how to deal with it, get into a routine far quicker and yeah surviving on 4-5 hours sleep most nights isn't ideal, it is enough and having to parent a toddler forces you to get up and do things so I find I'm rarely thinking about being tired. Like I say I'm only a few weeks in so I could well see this post in a month's time and laugh at my naivety but I really think it's been fantastic and I'm loving the baby stage a lot more than I did with Bea. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelmen Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 It’s just the one we have and due to medical issues we are blessed to have her.She is a happy kid and really sociable guess that’s down to being in nursery from 6 months old.She does say she wants us to have an older(?) sister but I am not sure she would want someone else cutting in on her time with us. If another did appear not sure we could afford to send them both to her school.Add to all that she’s 6 and stuff going through all the nappies etc again. We got lucky with a good sleeper the first time we won’t be that lucky again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 Before we had children I only ever wanted one. The day Catherine was born I immediately knew I wanted another Fraser is 4 months old now and the love Catherine has for him is fascinating. She dotes on him. She loves helping at nappy change and feeding time. Agree with jmo, baby fits into your routine and as you have experienced it all before you know what you are doing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 15 hours ago, Raidernation said: For tl;dr depends on kid, situation and opportunities Correct. I inherited 6 step children, 3 of them were up and away by the time we got married and the 4th one wasn't far behind them. That just left what I called the 2 "wee ones", 10 and 16 when we got married, 6 and 12 when I first met them. The 10 year old was spoiled rotten, hardly surprising with 5 elder siblings and the fact her father had died when she was 1, but she's turned out fine. She can be a bit sharp on it and there's no turning her when she gets an idea in her head, and she's like a dog with a bone with said idea. She changed when she went to secondary school, blossomed like a butterfly. Whenever her mother and I went in to the first teacher/parent meeting we weren't sure what to expect after her performance at primary school, and we thought the teacher was talking about a different child, so glowing was the report. She wasn't a worry or concern through her teenage years and early 20s and now has 3 wee ones of her own, on whom she keeps a tight reign, I sometimes think she's too hard on them, especially the eldest. The 16 year old was a disaster, I kept waiting for the knock on the door from the police to tell us she was arrested/dead/in hospital, but funny enough getting pregnant and becoming a single mother at 19 was the making of her. She's in a long term settled relationship and has 3 other children, none of whom have a hope of pulling the wool over her eyes after the lies she told/escapades she got up to when she was a teenager. She's also a bit sharp on it and hard to turn. I just let it wash over me but their mother rises to the bait nearly every time. The grandchildren - at least the ones we're in contact with - have all turned out fine, there's a couple that could be termed spoiled but nothing drastic, and they're still relatively young. You could take them anywhere and they'd be unlikely to let you down. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 Cheers for the responses all. I think it's laziness/comfort that's making me question having another. I had a dream the other day that we had another and I was delighted so it shows I'm clearly not against having another! I've said we'll try this year and if it hasn't happened by the end of the year we'll call it a day. I think I would be really happy with another but in the same breath I'm really happy with what I have and wouldn't be devastated if this is my final lot 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 Just keep shagging and if it happens then so be it? Depends if he’s married or not Shirley? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 Just keep shagging and if it happens then so be it? Depends if he’s married or not Shirley?Aye married so I have 12 shots this year to get it done. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Well we now have a sheriff court date,next Friday is a day I am dreading.we had another temp order granted on Wednesday and yet again she never turned up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 13 minutes ago, keithgy said: Well we now have a sheriff court date,next Friday is a day I am dreading.we had another temp order granted on Wednesday and yet again she never turned up. The kids are lucky that you guys are able to look after them rather than being bounced around care system. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Rubin Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 6 minutes ago, keithgy said: Well we now have a sheriff court date,next Friday is a day I am dreading.we had another temp order granted on Wednesday and yet again she never turned up. Genuinely best wishes with this. You've shown a tremendous amount of care, love and commitment at what's clearly the busiest time of the year of a courier. If the last couple months were a probationary period - you've passed with flying colours. Makes me wonder why you were such a c**t as a moderator? -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 3 minutes ago, Billy Rubin said: Genuinely best wishes with this. You've shown a tremendous amount of care, love and commitment at what's clearly the busiest time of the year of a courier. If the last couple months were a probationary period - you've passed with flying colours. Makes me wonder why you were such a c**t as a moderator? I may be a c**t but I have a heart 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 5 minutes ago, Rowan said: The kids are lucky that you guys are able to look after them rather than being bounced around care system. The kids going into care was never an opition,i don't care if I live on bread and water for the rest of my life I will not let them go into the system.We are now 25k in debt thanks to our daughter but I don't care as long as the kids are ok.Tomorrow night I will be cuddling into Ben watching Boss Baby and I would not have it any other way.Of course next week he will be watching The Hans Solo movie and he has no say in it ;-) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 1 hour ago, Billy Rubin said: Makes me wonder why you were such a c**t as a moderator? The best thing about this forum is that it is open season on giving each other dogs abuse from time to time. Please keep it out of here and the depression thread. These are the only places on here that allows us to be normal human beings. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 On 26/12/2018 at 20:02, Honest Saints Fan said: Not bad! Bit tired but now being sick a lot less. On cycle 3 of my chemo and looking to get a stem cell transplant next year. Gambatte xxx 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 (edited) 6 hours ago, supermik said: . These are the only places on here that allows us to be normal human beings. What you doing in here then? Spoiler Ha ha ha ha ha Edited January 12, 2019 by Melanius Mullarkey 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 11 hours ago, keithgy said: Well we now have a sheriff court date,next Friday is a day I am dreading.we had another temp order granted on Wednesday and yet again she never turned up. Chin up, you'll get there. All the best. (Let us know when it's settled.) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 10 hours ago, Billy Rubin said: Makes me wonder why you were such a c**t as a moderator? Children need disciplined, Billy... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 All the best next Friday Keith, you’re both fantastic role models to the kids. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.