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1 hour ago, Swarley said:

No mention of why he doesn't have a smartphone. He's not old enough to be technologically illiterate, and it's certainly not due to lack of cash if he's away to the Euros.

I'm guessing he's one of those "making a point" people who'll whip out a smartphone at the last minute, or doesn't want Bill Gates reading his brainwaves through 5G. The latter would be Wisbit.

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17 hours ago, Salt n Vinegar said:

Anyone know how to keep foxes out of a garden?

No, I'm not buying a shotgun.

No, I'm not keeping a pack of hunting dogs, dressing up like a hunter from a mid-20th century table placemat and riding a horse.

No, I'm not setting snares or other traps.

I'm pretty sure it's not a dog, as our garden is fenced in. I'm fed up walking across the lawn and finding it, or even worse, smelling it when I cut the grass.

Any (serious 😁) suggestions?

Blair Drummond
Lion Shite

Thank me later

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2 minutes ago, Peil said:

Blair Drummond
Lion Shite

Thank me later

If @Salt n Vinegar's willing to brave it, there's an easily-Googleable Daily Heil article about homeowners getting lion shite from Blair Drummond to stop birds from nesting on their roofs, which is the most Daily Heil thing I've heard in a while.

"What happened to all of the good traditional British birds? I never see them anymore. I say, there's one affecting the value of my house! Enid, do we have any feline excrement left?"

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1 hour ago, BFTD said:

No mention of why he doesn't have a smartphone. He's not old enough to be technologically illiterate, and it's certainly not due to lack of cash if he's away to the Euros.

I'm guessing he's one of those "making a point" people who'll whip out a smartphone at the last minute, or doesn't want Bill Gates reading his brainwaves through 5G. The latter would be Wisbit.

He works in an escape room. That's probably explanation enough. 

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1 minute ago, hk blues said:

He works in an escape room. That's probably explanation enough. 

That must be like being a prison warden, only without all of the work and peril of being a prison warden.

1 minute ago, Salt n Vinegar said:

I'm trying to GET RID of sh!te from the garden, not add more to it from the @rses of sundry carnivores!

Knowing P&B, you're lucky nobody's suggested getting a lion as a pet.

Not tempted to be the owner of P&B's Official Wildcat?

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3 minutes ago, BFTD said:

That must be like being a prison warden, only without all of the work and peril of being a prison warden.

Knowing P&B, you're lucky nobody's suggested getting a lion as a pet.

Not tempted to be the owner of P&B's Official Wildcat?

At least nobody has suggested prayer.

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4 minutes ago, BFTD said:

If @Salt n Vinegar's willing to brave it, there's an easily-Googleable Daily Heil article about homeowners getting lion shite from Blair Drummond to stop birds from nesting on their roofs, which is the most Daily Heil thing I've heard in a while.

"What happened to all of the good traditional British birds? I never see them anymore. I say, there's one affecting the value of my house! Enid, do we have any feline excrement left?"

When these types of article appear, I'm always left wondering what mad b*****d came up with the idea or solution in the first place.

Birds nesting on my roof? I wonder if smearing a shovelful of lions shite on it would deter the fvckers? Don't know if it's just me, but I'd imagine the materials required to simply block any potential nesting holes or cover them with mesh would be a lot easier and far less life-threatening to acquire. 

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3 hours ago, hk blues said:

Mature red foxes can be attacked by larger animals, including bears, wolves and mountain lions.

 

 

17 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Knowing P&B, you're lucky nobody's suggested getting a lion as a pet.

Ahem...

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20 hours ago, Salt n Vinegar said:

Anyone know how to keep foxes out of a garden?

No, I'm not buying a shotgun.

No, I'm not keeping a pack of hunting dogs, dressing up like a hunter from a mid-20th century table placemat and riding a horse.

No, I'm not setting snares or other traps.

I'm pretty sure it's not a dog, as our garden is fenced in. I'm fed up walking across the lawn and finding it, or even worse, smelling it when I cut the grass.

Any (serious 😁) suggestions?

I used a mixture of lion dung which I bought from a garden centre and some other stuff which mimics the scent of male fox pish called Scoot. I haven't seen any foxes hanging about since. 

The neighbour has his hose rigged up to a tap and there's a motion sensor that causes a squirt of water to come out. 

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1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

My shite would keep lions away.

The shite you post on here would.

Anyway no one has suggested the obvious solution to @Salt n Vinegar’s dilemma.  Sell the house, buy a flat.

Lateral thinking.

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20 hours ago, Salt n Vinegar said:

Anyone know how to keep foxes out of a garden?

No, I'm not buying a shotgun.

No, I'm not keeping a pack of hunting dogs, dressing up like a hunter from a mid-20th century table placemat and riding a horse.

No, I'm not setting snares or other traps.

I'm pretty sure it's not a dog, as our garden is fenced in. I'm fed up walking across the lawn and finding it, or even worse, smelling it when I cut the grass.

Any (serious 😁) suggestions?

 

Someone recently mentioned Jolyon Maugham on another thread, go on to Twitter and DM him, he'll sort your fox problem out.

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One for the bird people:

Whilst in the middle of a large playing field where there can't be a nest within >100m, the swallows fly up to my dog, do circles around him, fly away and then come back for a fly-by.  At no point do they dive bomb us, but they purposely come close.

My question is: is this them playing and repeatedly teasing my lurcher for a chase, or are they feeling threatened for no apparent reason and just trying to divert attention.  

ETA: fwiw, the swallows are chasing each other now.

Edited by Hedgecutter
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9 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

One for the bird people:

Whilst in the middle of a large playing field where there can't be a nest within >100m, the swallows fly up to my dog, do circles around him, fly away and then come back for a fly-by.  At no point do they dive bomb us, but they purposely come close.

My question is: is this them playing and repeatedly teasing my lurcher for a chase, or are they feeling threatened for no apparent reason and just trying to divert attention.  

ETA: fwiw, the swallows are chasing each other now.

They're eating the fleas loupin' aff yer mutt

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