jagfox Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 ^^^currently unemployed 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 £10k a year is less than the minimum wage. Unemployed folk get an income in the way of benefits though? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 Unemployed folk get an income in the way of benefits though? I put it to you, that he is a violent, rage incited, old geezer. Probably goes "weekly shopping" with his withered old wife too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hank Scorpio Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 Just to clear up guys, I currently work full time in the pub trade - wages are fucking shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 Good luck with the new job then Hank x 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 Just to clear up guys, I currently work full time in the pub trade - wages are fucking shite. You'll be letting us know where you currently work in time for your last night. No doubt there'll be a lot of 'bad pints' that your pals at P&B would be happy to save you the effort of pouring away 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 'To my wife on mother's day' cards. Just, why? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 I used to get Valentine's Day cards from my gran until I was about seven. I've since met other folk who have similar tales, including folk who got them from their own mothers What kind of confused, Fifesque nonsense is that? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black and White Tragic Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 I used to get Valentine's Day cards from my gran until I was about seven. I've since met other folk who have similar tales, including folk who got them from their own mothers What kind of confused, Fifesque nonsense is that? I've heard that in Dundee, they don't stop with Valentine's. They actually buy Mothers Day cards and send them to themselves, with your name on them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 My pal bought his pregnant wife a Mother's Day card from 'Bump'. Fucking hell. <<<One less friend than last week. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 I've heard that in Dundee, they don't stop with Valentine's. They actually buy Mothers Day cards and send them to themselves, with your name on them. Must be some rank rotten children in Dundee if the mothers prefer to use my name over their sons. More than happy to receive Valentines cards from them too, albeit with pictures. I'll forward the elderly ones on to Granny Danger and the Sarge. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black and White Tragic Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 Must be some rank rotten children in Dundee if the mothers prefer to use my name over their sons. More than happy to receive Valentines cards from them too, albeit with pictures. I'll forward the elderly ones on to Granny Danger and the Sarge. Ask any child in Dundee and they all have a missing sibling called Dave who was adopted out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 I am currently at Haymarket. Not a Euphemism. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Saints Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 My mum sends me a Valentine's card every year. It's the only one I ever receive. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 My mum sends me a Valentine's card every year. It's the only one I ever receive. Things you don't want to share with P&B for this tragic pish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 I wonder if Kate still gets a card from wee maddie?? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 (edited) Although not part of the original plan, I ended up at Formartine v Brora in the Highland League Cup earlier today, which was one of the crazier games I've been to: Started off not being allowed in as the game was still in doubt, gates eventually opening after the ref gave the all clear. This was probably out of sheer pity seeing as Brora had come a long way and it had supposedly been postponed three times already. Without this, it would probably been postponed due to waterlogginng on what turned out to be an absolutely baltic day with some sleet thrown in. As for the game, Brora scored first, Formartine equalised but then let in two horrific goals to give Brora a 3-1 HT lead, balls just sticking in the mud bath which was the penalty box. A notable highlight of the half was a Brora player breaking free along the wing, only to be tackled by the sodden touchline, sending him sliding headfirst along the pitch for 5-10m, white away strip now brown. League leaders two goals up, game over at this stage... I thought. Second half (more sleet, less daylight): A transformed Formartine score 4 goals in less than 30 mins, the one which took the lead bring a 20-25yrd screamer across goal into the top corner, keeper full stretch for extra effect. 5-3. Brora very quickly get a goal back, and from a corner near the death with everybody up, get the head on it to make it 5-5, both teams having now blown two goal leads. However, in absolute delight, the Brora keeper somehow manages to cripple himself during his celebration. This would be problematic at the best of times, but more so after you've already made all three subs and are stuck with a crippled keeper who spends a few minutes hobbling back up to his goals. Full time: 5-5, on to extra time... met with groans from most who just want to get indoors, not stand out in the freezing cold for another half an hour. Several people just give up and leave actually. Anyway, extra time begins, with the Brora keeper still in goals, even if he can't walk and has to hop about in agony to get anywhere. He gets a single touch on the ball, this being a full dive parry for what should be a basic catch, all because he can no longer stand up. In the end, he has to sit down in his goalmouth, hands outstretched towards the away dugout for a few minutes, before his manager reluctantly gets him off the park and selects one of his out-fielders to do a 'Robbie Winters'. Somehow, no goals are scored during extra time and it goes to penalties. However, after over 120 mins of football, any trace of a penalty spot (or penalty box in general) has long gone, and after several minutes, they come to the conclusion that it's unusable and they should use the opposite goal mouth. So they swap... only to quickly realise that the opposite penalty box is even worse, hence they return to the box which was no good before. How they spot the ball remains unknown to me. Long story short, the outfielder-newly-turned-keeper saves Formartine's fourth pen attempt, becomes the hero of the day and 'ten man' Brora win 5-5 aet (5-4 on pens). £8 well spent. Edited March 6, 2016 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 Although not part of the original plan, I ended up at Formartine v Brora in the Highland League Cup earlier today, which was one of the crazier games I've been to: Started off not being allowed in as the game was still in doubt, gates eventually opening after the ref gave the all clear. This was probably out of sheer pity seeing as Brora had come a long way and it had supposedly been postponed three times already. Without this, it would probably been postponed due to waterlogginng on what turned out to be an absolutely baltic day with some sleet thrown in. As for the game, Brora scored first, Formartine equalised but then let in two horrific goals to give Brora a 3-1 HT lead, balls just sticking in the mud bath which was the penalty box. A notable highlight of the half was a Brora player breaking free along the wing, only to be tackled by the sodden touchline, sending him sliding headfirst along the pitch for 5-10m, white away strip now brown. League leaders two goals up, game over at this stage... I thought. Second half (more sleet, less daylight): A transformed Formartine score 4 goals in less than 30 mins, the one which took the lead bring a 20-25yrd screamer across goal into the top corner, keeper full stretch for extra effect. 5-3. Brora very quickly get a goal back, and from a corner near the death with everybody up, get the head on it to make it 5-5, both teams having now blown two goal leads. However, in absolute delight, the Brora keeper somehow manages to cripple himself during his celebration. This would be problematic at the best of times, but more so after you've already made all three subs and are stuck with a crippled keeper who spends a few minutes hobbling back up to his goals. Full time: 5-5, on to extra time... met with groans from most who just want to get indoors, not stand out in the freezing cold for another half an hour. Several people just give up and leave actually. Anyway, extra time begins, with the Brora keeper still in goals, even if he can't walk and has to hop about in agony to get anywhere. He gets a single touch on the ball, this being a full dive parry for what should be a basic catch, all because he can no longer stand up. In the end, he has to sit down in his goalmouth, hands outstretched towards the away dugout for a few minutes, before his manager reluctantly gets him off the park and selects one of his out-fielders to do a 'Robbie Winters'. Somehow, no goals are scored during extra time and it goes to penalties. However, after over 120 mins of football, any trace of a penalty spot (or penalty box in general) has long gone, and after several minutes, they come to the conclusion that it's unusable and they should use the opposite goal mouth. So they swap... only to quickly realise that the opposite penalty box is even worse, hence they return to the box which was no good before. How they spot the ball remains unknown to me. Long story short, the outfielder-newly-turned-keeper saves Formartine's fourth pen attempt, becomes the hero of the day and 'ten man' Brora win 5-5 aet (5-4 on pens). £8 well spent. Excellent report Hedgy, I almost felt like I was there. If only I had gone outside in just my underpants to read it. It would have felt more realistic. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 If only I had gone outside in just my underpants. Grimbo What have I told you about that? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 What have I told you about that?^^^Doughnut eating superior partner (not in a sexual way) of PC Cabe found. Sorry Sarge, I thought weekends (during the darkened hours) it would be ok. Was it the tag that alerted you? BE A LERT Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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