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11 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

House phone went and I’ve just taken an order for a chicken curry, special fried rice and a king prawn foo yung. Guy says he’ll collect it in about 15 minutes.

The landline number allocated to my previous house had been a taxi number before it was given to me, so I got drunken taxi requests at stupid o'clock in the morning every now and again (particularly December when the once-a-yearers were out).

The first couple of times I was a wido and asked where they were, and said "stand outside, we'll have a car there very soon".  The flaw in my wido plan was that these idiots had the number saved in their mobile, so called back even later to ask where their taxi was.

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6 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said:

The landline number allocated to my previous house had been a taxi number before it was given to me, so I got drunken taxi requests at stupid o'clock in the morning every now and again (particularly December when the once-a-yearers were out).

The first couple of times I was a wido and asked where they were, and said "stand outside, we'll have a car there very soon".  The flaw in my wido plan was that these idiots had the number saved in their mobile, so called back even later to ask where their taxi was.

Our number is one digit away from a nearby doctors surgery and the wife once answered the phone at 8am and book some c**t in for an appointment.

To be fair, she’s one lazy b*****d so at least it got her out of her pit.

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1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Our number is one digit away from a nearby doctors surgery and the wife once answered the phone at 8am and book some c**t in for an appointment.

To be fair, she’s one lazy b*****d so at least it got her out of her pit.

I have a similar problem with the chemists. Regular calls asking if I have their prescription ready.

I'm not willing to take the risk on suggesting I might have loads of drugs in the house in case people are listening in.

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We bought a house a few years back and were allocated a number that used to belong to a local, well known drug dealer and all round bad guy.  What made it worse was we have the same first name.

A few unsavoury conversations in the few weeks until we got allocated another number.

 

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13 hours ago, Granny Danger said:

We bought a house a few years back and were allocated a number that used to belong to a local, well known drug dealer and all round bad guy.  What made it worse was we have the same first name.

A few unsavoury conversations in the few weeks until we got allocated another number.

 

Some business man you, a deal is a deal?

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18 minutes ago, MONKMAN said:

Lying on the couch listening to Queen, for the first time in years.

 

Freddie Mercury is an outstanding musician and performer, truly phenomenal.

 

Why did this happen? Queen are brilliant.

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5 hours ago, MONKMAN said:

Unsure mate. Was sitting listening to Bowie, under pressure came on and I had a moment of clarity.

 

That's a nice progression. Hope you didn't ruin it by putting on some Vanilla Ice afterwards.

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anyone seen Ayr United's strip advertisement, bit ridiculous considering its 2018, having to resort to nudity to advertise just means your teams either a bit sh*t or just full of sexist weirdos.

Edited by planbiffy
punctuation
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4 minutes ago, planbiffy said:

anyone seen Ayr United's strip advertisement, bit ridiculous considering its 2018, having to resort to nudity to advertise just means your teams either a bit sh*t or just full of sexist weirdos.

I think they included a man to make it more modern probably moving them from the 1970 to 1971, when in fact he's in his football shorts and she's in a thong. I have said this for the last 3 years it does nothing to attract women or young people to our game, which is a real shame.

 

Motherwell specifically and countless other clubs including Dunfermline have massively upped their marketing game and have been rewarded by increased press coverage and money on the gate, I doubt this pathetic advert will do either for Ayr Uniter any perhaps its time to look forward instead of back for new click bait. 

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7 minutes ago, pandarilla said:

Again? Seriously?

I'm embarrassed by this.

Again Pandarilla, we meet again! We always come together at this time of year, I'm embarrassed as well :( This always gets a bit of traction with the media who use it as a stick to beat Scottish football with, portraying our game as some kind of dark age back water, its a real shame.

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