alta-pete Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 1 hour ago, scottsdad said: I am not entirely sure how I have done this, but I have taken a big chunk of skin off the side of my nose. I was closing a cupboard door and somehow forgot to retract my head. Just ripped a layer right off it. Now sitting with a Wonder Woman plaster across my nose and wondering how I made it to this age without doing this to myself before. No sympathy from the wife, either. "It's no skin off my nose" was all she said. @Shandon Par alias found. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 Pork lunch tongue gives me the fucking heebies and should be banned from deli. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 23 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said: Pork lunch tongue gives me the fucking heebies and should be banned from deli. I thought they were cow tongues. They look awful rolled up in the tin like that and covered in that jelly. Are you thinking about chopped pork? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 4 minutes ago, Nkomo-A-Gogo said: I thought they were cow tongues. They look awful rolled up in the tin like that and covered in that jelly. Are you thinking about chopped pork? Awful. Usually available in pack of 4 slices in supermarkets. Wet, slimy weird tasting guff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 I am not afraid to say it as it's part of my rehabilitation process.. [mention=70922]Melanius Mullarkay[/mention] ripped the pish oot o' me at fives last night. I am so disappointed and hate myself right now.I’d just pack it in bud. Did he blind you with the reflection from his specs? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 32 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said: Pork lunch tongue gives me the fucking heebies and should be banned from deli. I couldn't eat anything that's been in an animals mouth, give me an egg any day. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 7, 2022 Share Posted September 7, 2022 14 hours ago, SweeperDee said: I’d just pack it in bud. Did he blind you with the reflection from his specs? It was the baldy sheen that put him off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 7, 2022 Share Posted September 7, 2022 This online meeting is going well. Seriously it sounds like it’s going to kick off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 7, 2022 Share Posted September 7, 2022 The meeting organiser looks like your typical grandad but sounds exactly like Dennis Taylor. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oystercatcher Posted September 7, 2022 Share Posted September 7, 2022 Dee Hepburn was in front of me at the supermarket queue this evening. Still wid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loonytoons Posted September 7, 2022 Share Posted September 7, 2022 Dee Hepburn was in front of me at the supermarket queue this evening. Still wid.Priapism? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted September 7, 2022 Share Posted September 7, 2022 45 minutes ago, Loonytoons said: Priapism? Is that city still off limits due to Chernobyl radioaktivitat ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 7, 2022 Share Posted September 7, 2022 47 minutes ago, Loonytoons said: Priapism? I’m guessing Asda. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 7, 2022 Share Posted September 7, 2022 1 hour ago, Oystercatcher said: Dee Hepburn was in front of me at the supermarket queue this evening. Still wid. Her sister Dab Hepburn wasnae bad either 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted September 8, 2022 Share Posted September 8, 2022 8 hours ago, tamthebam said: Her sister Dab Hepburn wasnae bad either Younger but less popular, 2nd to do everything - not a patch on the older sister t.b.h. And, terrible taste in colour. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted September 8, 2022 Share Posted September 8, 2022 Last time I was visiting the ERI you had to run the gauntlet of puffers at the door, not sure this will out them off. Some people were on oxygen but still smoking, not to mention the pregnant smokers at the maternity unit. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-62792258 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 8, 2022 Share Posted September 8, 2022 Someone has just joined this Teams meeting with a big staunch Watty portrait in the background. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted September 8, 2022 Share Posted September 8, 2022 The current bathroom refit has officially broken me. About a year of being dragged around places from Montrose to Elgin looking at differing wetwall / work surfaces, trying in vain to find a toilet design that doesn't hurt your arse after 10 seconds, debating P-shaped baths vs normal f***ing baths ... then we find out during installation that companies seem incapable of sending you the things that you ordered and paid for, and that we need to rush about throwing a bathroom together, like a kid trying to build a Lego police station using castle battlements that somehow got thrown in instead. Evening after evening of navigating soul-destroying industrial estates to find an obscure bit of plastic in shops outsized only by Costco, but don't seem to actually f***ing stock anything. DIY museums that put things on public display that can't just be obtained at a few days notice because they seem to be sourced from some distant f***ing galaxy where anything you'd think would cost a pound on Earth actually costs £150. Some sort of Norway Nebula, where meaningful colour names were disbanded a long time ago. A blizzard-encased Hoth-like world where white is synonymous with a 'Dusky Morn'. F*** right off. Stick a giant bit of 'Aged Parchment' up your ar*e and then see how much of a 'Mystical Morning' you'll have then. I was fine with the bathroom as it was. A simple shower replacement would have sufficed, but noooooooooo... apparently the (inherited) dolphin tiles had to go. The lino floor? Suddenly a problem overnight despite not a word being said for the past eight years of bathroom bliss. At this very moment I'd stick a bucket out in the shed and dig a hole in the floor if it'll make it all stop. I've been using a bucket to flush my sh*t away for the last two days now anyway, so I'm half acclimatised already. I put the blame firmly at the door of that Scottish Home of the Year Brigade, the one with the guy who walks around wearing an imaginary sling, and that toff bint who's probably wanking herself off to the thought of the peasants freezing to death in their boring samey buildings with walls made of boring things, like brick. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 8, 2022 Share Posted September 8, 2022 Just now, Hedgecutter said: The current bathroom refit has officially broken me. About a year of being dragged around places from Montrose to Elgin Decoras? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted September 8, 2022 Share Posted September 8, 2022 18 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: Decoras? One of them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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