Florentine_Pogen Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Oh balderdash! You old fart! Cheeky scamp. Have some respect for your elders. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Split up with the mrs last week and had holiday booked to tenerife leaving today. Decided that since I'd paid for it I was going anyway. The issue is that since I'm on my tod putting suncream on my back is proving to be a bit of a challenge. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Split up with the mrs last week and had holiday booked to tenerife leaving today. Decided that since I'd paid for it I was going anyway. The issue is that since I'm on my tod putting suncream on my back is proving to be a bit of a challenge. Did your missus abandon ship because of your gamertag nomenclature ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Split up with the mrs last week and had holiday booked to tenerife leaving today. Decided that since I'd paid for it I was going anyway. The issue is that since I'm on my tod putting suncream on my back is proving to be a bit of a challenge. Squirt it on to your sun lounger and roll about in it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 The guy who does our home delivery from asda smells worse than any human i have ever smelt 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Split up with the mrs last week and had holiday booked to tenerife leaving today. Decided that since I'd paid for it I was going anyway. The issue is that since I'm on my tod putting suncream on my back is proving to be a bit of a challenge. I like the fact you're single, in a sun soaked country with half naked ladies, yet you come on P&B and groan about not being able to put sun tan lotion on your back. Theres a blatant solution to this problem, which would come with extra benefits 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 I like the fact you're single, in a sun soaked country with half naked ladies, yet you come on P&B and groan about not being able to put sun tan lotion on your back. Theres a blatant solution to this problem, which would come with extra benefits And asking some passing girls on the beach to rub your sun tan lotion on your back isn't creepy or disturbing in the slightest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 And asking some passing girls on the beach to rub your sun tan lotion on your back isn't creepy or disturbing in the slightest. I'm not suggesting he just stand bold as brass seductively smearing sun cream over his belly asking if anyone who passes wants to join him, I'm merely saying the opportunity is there to grab whatever durty is walking about and have a far better time than he seems to be having 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Toilet paper is the only thing you can use to get it off the carpet, i almost rubbed my mrs nose in it like i do with my dog when he poos Sorry, I didn't realise you were having real sex, I thought you had a malfunction with the............................................ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Still time to vote for the prestigious P&B Best Burd of the World Cup 2014 award. Head across to the World Cup sub forum 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Just discovered a couple of French tourists who have turned up at Slains Pub in Aberdeen thinking that it was Slains Castle up at Cruden Bay. They had my attention at "excuse me, is this the castle in this book?". Erm, you're over 30 miles out love! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I've stopped taking sugar in my coffee. I have noticed I don't drink as much coffee now as it tastes like shit without sugar. I guess what I am trying to say is that I have cut down on my coffee intake from 10 cups per day to just 2. I didn't have any on Saturday. It's going great though and I feel better than I ever did now that I drink 6 bottles of Lucazade every day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Do they still make Trackers? I was talking to a guy in work about them and he didn't have a clue what I was on about. They just disappeared overnight. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Do they still make Trackers? I was talking to a guy in work about them and he didn't have a clue what I was on about. They just disappeared overnight. Yeh I'm certain they do......think they sell them in boxes of 6 in all the supermarkets. Not sure if they are sold separately though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I like the fact you're single, in a sun soaked country with half naked ladies, yet you come on P&B and groan about not being able to put sun tan lotion on your back. Theres a blatant solution to this problem, which would come with extra benefits Wouldn't have called it a groan, more of an observation. And far be it for me to come on the Internet and boast about sex. I'll keep my lewd stories about tidy wee English birds several years my junior to myself thank you very much. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Wouldn't have called it a groan, more of an observation. And far be it for me to come on the Internet and boast about sex. I'll keep my lewd stories about tidy wee English birds several years my junior to myself thank you very much. Beast. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Beast. Now now. I probably have every reason to be ashamed of myself but I did take great care to ensure that I wasn't joining the list of Yewtree suspects. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Woolshed Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Do they still make Trackers? I was talking to a guy in work about them and he didn't have a clue what I was on about. They just disappeared overnight. Sainsburys is the place to find them. A fine snack bar if ever there was one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Sky Sports been cancelled, they can shove it up their arse. Cheeky little chappy on the phone even offered it for £4 a month till September, but then it goes up to £24.50. Cheaper fucking off to the pub for the games I'll want to watch 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForzaDundee Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Best Vine ever. https://vine.co/v/M2iA30Trr2x 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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