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I reckon you might have the most niche and obscure mutant superhero power I've ever heard of.

Woman: "Help, the baby's trapped in that burning house!"

Bleeding Rectum Man: "Are you bleeding from your anus?"

Woman: "!"

Woman: "Em, actually... yes, I am!"

BRM: *flies off to save baby*

Haven't you heard? I've been saving the people of Scotland from haemorrhaging anal fissures since I was bitten on the sphincter by an infected spider when I was a child. I fly about with my avatar on my cape and dwell behind the clockface of the Trongate Tower with Helmetman.

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Penguin Books have inexplicably decided to promote the hashtag #YourMum;

“For the next hour (and every lunchtime this week), tweet us using #YourMum & we'll endeavour to provide gift (where gift = book) advice. Go!”

This of course has lead to many fantastic replies, some with deeply amusing pictures, leading to the reply;

“Thanks for pointing our #YourMum has an alternative meaning you guys! Now back to the books...”

Leaving one to suspect that perhaps they knew all along what they were doing and are revelling in the publicity.

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I will see that Double Decker and raise you a "Boost"...

The green Boosts were better than the blue Boosts.

I don't eat a lot of chocolate any more, but I love the four-month Creme Egg season. Dark chocolate is also better than milk chocolate. I'd love a dark chocolate Creme Egg.

Edited by Smurph
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