endieinreekie Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I start at the Glasgow Airport Express store this Friday..... .....and I have a lump sum being paid shortly and a pension starting 1st October courtesy of my leaving the civil service on voluntary early retirement. PS. I promise not to buy shares in any third world child labour schemes or whine about the unemployed, greedy benefits cheats or selfish biscuit stealing NHS/public sector workers as a result of this upturn in my fortunes - unlike some! I think they spelt your badge wrong, should it not be a 'D' instead of an 'N'? -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bibby Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Been working on the first of the new Supercarriers for the Royal Navy (HMS Queen Elizabeth) for the past three months now. If these contracts get scrapped it's gonna be a colossal waste of material! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I start at the Glasgow Airport Express store this Friday..... .....and I have a lump sum being paid shortly and a pension starting 1st October courtesy of my leaving the civil service on voluntary early retirement. PS. I promise not to buy shares in any third world child labour schemes or whine about the unemployed, greedy benefits cheats or selfish biscuit stealing NHS/public sector workers as a result of this upturn in my fortunes - unlike some! Result! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I start at the Glasgow Airport Express store this Friday..... .....and I have a lump sum being paid shortly and a pension starting 1st October courtesy of my leaving the civil service on voluntary early retirement. PS. I promise not to buy shares in any third world child labour schemes or whine about the unemployed, greedy benefits cheats or selfish biscuit stealing NHS/public sector workers as a result of this upturn in my fortunes - unlike some! All the best, Nick. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calum_gers Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 This stat is both amusing and depressing - 10 - Kenny Miller (10) has scored more goals on his own than any of the 10 non-Old Firm teams in the SPL this season. Solo. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Aren't Tesco a little concerned that your name badge might be seen as an encouragement to shoplifters? Best of luck anyway. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 (edited) Me and my brother have created an idea for a mind blowing TV programme, about a maverick judge who doesn't play it by the book. It's like Judge John Deed or whatever it was but better. The programme is called "Judge Mental", about Judge Hank Mental, and his crazy instinctive style of prosecuting. The first scene is in the courtroom, and Hank is being explained to him how the defendant is innocent, they even have CCTV footage of him somewhere else at the time when the crime was commited. "I've heard all I need to hear" says the judge, "put him away for 40 years". Everyone is shocked and as they man is being dragged away he shouts "OK so I did it, that was my twin brother on camera, but I'll get you Mental, by god I'll get you". Other characters inlclude the medical genius/serial killer Professor Falconpunch, the one man as intelligent as Mental, the arch enemy he can't get anything to stick on. Also his fellow judge who's less talented, straight by the book and essentially more succesfull. He comes out with lines like "Hank you're a crazy asshole, too crazy for your own good, but my god you get results. I'm telling you, future hit right here. Following on from this post, we've really developed this show now. It has suspense, strong character development, twists and turns, the fucking lot. Here's a couple of tasters from the cutting edge script: SUPREME COURT JUDGE: Hey Mental you crazy f**k, you think you can throw out my appeals you county level shmuck? MENTAL: Ah why not? JUDGE: You don't have that authority asshole. MENTAL: Do I gots the authority to do this? *outside of the hand pimp-slap to the face.* Later....... SENATOR: Dammit Mental, I swear you pull that maverick shit once more and you're hitting the bricks pal. MENTAL: You can't do shit. SENATOR: Oh really, I got a quick line to the President bucko. MENTAL: So does I cowboy, and I think he'd love to see that tape I gots of you sucking off hookers in Reno. P.S don't be confused by the American references ie senator's and supreme court judges, or the characters American accents, it's set in Stevenage. Edited September 30, 2010 by Guest 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccanee Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 I start at the Glasgow Airport Express store this Friday..... .....and I have a lump sum being paid shortly and a pension starting 1st October courtesy of my leaving the civil service on voluntary early retirement. PS. I promise not to buy shares in any third world child labour schemes or whine about the unemployed, greedy benefits cheats or selfish biscuit stealing NHS/public sector workers as a result of this upturn in my fortunes - unlike some! Did you train at Cardonald? I work there. (Stuart btw) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikingTON Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Kilt's pulled! -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Kilt's pulled! you can only dream about stuff like that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeyblair Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 I just bought a new TV and got a free Blue Ray player with it (John Lewis - can't beat their guarantees and service). Despite paying a small fortune, I went to set it up last night and the fuckers give you no leads at all so now having to wade through the information on HDMI cables etc... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 I just bought a new TV and got a free Blue Ray player with it (John Lewis - can't beat their guarantees and service). Despite paying a small fortune, I went to set it up last night and the fuckers give you no leads at all so now having to wade through the information on HDMI cables etc... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeyblair Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Okay, the fuckers at Panasonic give you no leads at all. What's all that about? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeyblair Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Going to see Frankie Boyle on Sunday. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullywee Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 i saw mark ronson today. at first i thought he was just a regular dick-head, turns out it was a famous dick-head. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cowden til i die Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 The bird out of Him & Her has something about her that i find very attractive. She aint the most stunning in the world but she has 'something'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 i saw mark ronson today. at first i thought he was just a regular dick-head, turns out it was a famous dick-head. My mate went to Fopp today to see him and she got two free tickets to his gig tonight. He's a generous famous dick-head, it seems. Cupcakes. That's brilliant. I really want the Garfield one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 The bird out of Him & Her has something about her that i find very attractive. She aint the most stunning in the world but she has 'something'. A fanny? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraser_smfc Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 I had a bit of a Father Dougal-esque moment tonight at the pub. A girl that was in my year at school came in with a walking stick and sat down next to my mate. You don't see many young folk with a walking stick so I enquired further. Me: "Alright hop-along, what's with the stick?" Her: "I was in a car accident." Me: "Oh right." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 A woman came into my mums work today and asked if she could use the staff toilet. She was in the toilet 20 mins and left the toilet with a bag that she had not entered with. When she left my mum went to investigate why she had taken so long. The wifey had shat all over the toilet seat and down the back of the toilet and in the bag was the shite the woman had tried to clean up. What a clatty bitch! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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