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Had wiffy smell in the house. Found a dead cat behind the cupboard.

Was spewing while lifting out, maggots all over the place, poor thing(kids & wife get out the house). No ceremony, straight in the river

Put flowers in the river next day..

next was today

I wouldn't open with that in the best man's speech tbh.

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On Pointless the category was pictures of British winter Olympians, an auld dear suggested that this was Burt Kwuk.

attachicon.gifpjc.jpg

She's either not very good on sport or a first-class troll. She's just given Nelson Piquet as an answer to 'Formula One Drivers 2015'.

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Had wiffy smell in the house. Found a dead cat behind the cupboard.

Was spewing while lifting out, maggots all over the place, poor thing(kids & wife get out the house). No ceremony, straight in the river

Put flowers in the river next day..

next was today

Worst attempt at a Haiku ever.

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There's a bird on tinder who I've been talking to and was asking where I stayed, then straight up telling me she was wanting pumped. Then after doing an emergency tidy of my gaff she then says she should stay at hers as there are people there. Now telling me I'll just have to wait until tomorrow night.

f**k off.

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