Bully Wee Villa Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 I had to waste some sick leave on actual sickness last week. Seething. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 Oh, and as usual, I've no idea what SlipperyP is on about. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renton Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 50 minutes ago, Bully Wee Villa said: Oh, and as usual, I've no idea what SlipperyP is on about. Imagine if Colonel Kurtz was a dog catcher. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 55 minutes ago, Bully Wee Villa said: Oh, and as usual, I've no idea what SlipperyP is on about. Maybe he's got rabies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 Given the symptoms of crazed slobbering ranting, I think it's more likely that the dog would catch rabies from him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 53 minutes ago, renton said: Imagine if Colonel Kurtz was a dog catcher. Colonel Kurtz is real, how dare you. I can hunt you down and break you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 4 hours ago, SlipperyP said: Friday, Bangkok 4 am It was dark, I walked out the hotel, never checked out. 7/11 was across the road, RED BULL, 10฿ nit the same as I knew before, never mind, I was on mission , I had map, given to me by the hotel. The RED BULL hit me, I panicked. I was like a heart attack, I had to return back to the hotel..call my sister to say I was still alive She did not answer,. It was was about 4 pm, I left the room and walked, left right then left....I waled over the big bridge, then turned left. I was in some shatty town. I was welcomed , not many people, just many stares. Then BANG, a dog ran out at me, I don't like dogs, this was first day of training. I stood, while the Thai watched this dog attack me, . I don't f**k about, I killed the dog, it was me or her. THe Thai community just were in shock , after shock, they cam straight to me to speak, hug and get to know.... I was driven back to my hotel. My day was over. Another day at the office. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 Got absolutely steaming last night and can't remember getting home. Last thing I do remember is asking the barmaid out and promising her a steak meal. I'm using Del Boys chat up lines. May as well give up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 I'm off for a colonoscopy today and had to drink a litre of fluid that tasted like crushed aspirin mixed with salt before bed. I've now to finish another litre and it is fucking vile. I've also not had any food at all other than clean fluids for 23 hours and it will be about 32 hours in total without a scran by the time I get something to eat. I am a tad peckish. The cats are looking tastier by the minute. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 1 minute ago, Dee Man said: I'm off for a colonoscopy today and had to drink a litre of fluid that tasted like crushed aspirin mixed with salt before bed. I've now to finish another litre and it is fucking vile. I've also not had any food at all other than clean fluids for 23 hours and it will be about 32 hours in total without a scran by the time I get something to eat. I am a tad peckish. The cats are looking tastier by the minute. For all the good they’ve done you you might as well have shoved them up yer arse. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 1 minute ago, Deontay WildPar said: For all the good they’ve done you you might as well have shoved them up yer arse. Ironically, they'll be flying out my arse in about an hour's time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 5 minutes ago, Dee Man said: I'm off for a colonoscopy today and had to drink a litre of fluid that tasted like crushed aspirin mixed with salt before bed. I've now to finish another litre and it is fucking vile. I've also not had any food at all other than clean fluids for 23 hours and it will be about 32 hours in total without a scran by the time I get something to eat. I am a tad peckish. The cats are looking tastier by the minute. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 Just now, Dee Man said: Ironically, they'll be flying out my arse in about an hour's time. Nice. Good luck anyway. See if you can get the procedure filmed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 1 minute ago, Deontay WildPar said: Nice. Good luck anyway. See if you can get the procedure filmed. You lie on your side to get it done, facing the screen the doctor watches ad it progresses towards your tonsils from the wrong end. I'd taken my specs of for the proceedings. The kindly nurse attending asked, "oh, don't you want to watch, some people do?" No I fùcking don't you fat ignorant cow, I thought to myself. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 Did you get knocked out for it? I had an endoscopy (when they go down your throat) And decided to go with just the local anaesthetic. It was fucking torture. Feel the camera every inch of the way and your gag reflex kicks, felt like i was chocking. Hopefully never again, but if i do, then it will be the genaral like 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 SlipperyP's posts are like a bizarre alternative version of American Psycho. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 2 minutes ago, buchan30 said: Did you get knocked out for it? I had an endoscopy (when they go down your throat) And decided to go with just the local anaesthetic. It was fucking torture. Feel the camera every inch of the way and your gag reflex kicks, felt like i was chocking. Hopefully never again, but if i do, then it will be the genaral like I've mentioned this before. Did both on the same day without anaesthetic. The NHS line that divides "some discomfort" from gut wrenching agony is higher than where I would draw it. Best part was after it. I was put in a side room to recover. Unsurprisingly I needed the toilet. While I was in shiting rings round myself, I could hear the nurse calling "where are you?" "Where do you think I am, after a colonoscopy?" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 Ironically, they'll be flying out my arse in about an hour's time. It is strangely satisfying when you are finally empty, take a good book, you could be some time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 1 minute ago, Moomintroll said: 48 minutes ago, Dee Man said: Ironically, they'll be flying out my arse in about an hour's time. It is strangely satisfying when you are finally empty, take a good book, you could be some time. War and Peace? loads of pages just in case the Izal runs out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 41 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: I've mentioned this before. Did both on the same day without anaesthetic. Hope they rinsed the camera off in between. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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