GordonD Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 19 minutes ago, Cosmic Joe said: Witnessed something spectacular in Argyle Street in Glasgow yesterday. Waiting outside Primark for my wife to emerge when a young couple walked by. The lassie was wobbling along wearing thon high heeled wedges that appear to be all the rage. She lost her footing, ending up on her hands and knees, with her short skirt riding up revealing that she was going commando, flashing her bare arse to the entire street. Unfortunately nobody in the vicinity needed to park their bicycle. P&B rules... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 A creamy jobbie is better than a crunchy jobbie. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 The feel of a sharp lump of peanut finally passing isn't pleasant. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 7 hours ago, scottsdad said: Had a bit of a drink-fuelled disaster this weekend. Saturday night, pished on Leffe. Talking to the wife, who was also pished. Somehow we started talking about hair. I needed a haircut and was planning on going for my usual 1-all-over. The wife asked if I ever thought of anything else, considering I've had the same hairdo since the 90s. I confessed that I wondered what I'd look like completely bald. In my mind I'm thinking that Walter White looked better bald, as did Ben Sisko and a few other TV characters. This led to a very fast escalation from "Why don't you do this?" to "I bet you won't do this, you'll chicken out" I had my clippers from lockdown. 11 am on a Saturday night, pished, taking all the hair off my head. Then shaving foam and razor. I utterly scalped myself. I'm amazed I didn't cut myself. I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. What I wasn't prepared for was how the scalp would feel. It's like leather. I imagined something silky smooth under my fingertips. Instead, it's like an old slipper that a dog has chewed. I might go into hiding for a couple of weeks until some of it comes back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 2 hours ago, Newbornbairn said: I still struggle not to snigger at folk from Moray referring to jobs as 'jobbies'. That said, there's something a bit unsettling about an old woman saying "I've got a wee jobby for you...", or "how's your jobby?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 9 hours ago, scottsdad said: Had a bit of a drink-fuelled disaster this weekend. Saturday night, pished on Leffe. Talking to the wife, who was also pished. Somehow we started talking about hair. I needed a haircut and was planning on going for my usual 1-all-over. The wife asked if I ever thought of anything else, considering I've had the same hairdo since the 90s. I confessed that I wondered what I'd look like completely bald. In my mind I'm thinking that Walter White looked better bald, as did Ben Sisko and a few other TV characters. This led to a very fast escalation from "Why don't you do this?" to "I bet you won't do this, you'll chicken out" I had my clippers from lockdown. 11 am on a Saturday night, pished, taking all the hair off my head. Then shaving foam and razor. I utterly scalped myself. I'm amazed I didn't cut myself. I woke up the next day with about 85% of my head shaved, and a few bits I had missed completely. I had no choice but to go back and shave all the rest off. And I do not look in any way good. My scalp is utterly white. My face isn't. I look like Lex Luthor just released from the jail. Or a football hooligan. The wife is horrified, and spent yesterday reminding me of all the meetings I have this week at work. What I wasn't prepared for was how the scalp would feel. It's like leather. I imagined something silky smooth under my fingertips. Instead, it's like an old slipper that a dog has chewed. I might go into hiding for a couple of weeks until some of it comes back. You must have been utterly bladdered if it was 11am in a Saturday night. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Rugster said: You must have been utterly bladdered if it was 11am in a Saturday night. It's 11 am somewhere 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 9 hours ago, scottsdad said: I'm chairing 2 of those this week. Scotty non J'aime chocolate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetterlund Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 4 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: I still struggle not to snigger at folk from Moray referring to jobs as 'jobbies'. That said, there's something a bit unsettling about an old woman saying "I've got a wee jobby for you...", or "how's your jobby?" I didn't realise it was a regional thing. Many years ago I was fixing my car outside my mum's house, when the nice old lady who lived across the road walked by and commented that I was always doing little jobbies by the side of the road. I was crying inside while attempting, unsuccessfully, to keep a straight face. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Zetterlund said: I didn't realise it was a regional thing. Many years ago I was fixing my car outside my mum's house, when the nice old lady who lived across the road walked by and commented that I was always doing little jobbies by the side of the road. I was crying inside while attempting, unsuccessfully, to keep a straight face. Is that what was wrong with the car? Shit in the carburetor? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 14 hours ago, Venti said: Scotty non J'aime chocolate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 Someone has just let out a massive fart on a Teams call interview. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: Someone has just let out a massive fart on a Teams call interview. ^^^ someone 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 On 09/10/2023 at 12:20, scottsdad said: I'm chairing 2 of those this week. Remember to let us know how they go. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 28 minutes ago, Granny Danger said: ^^^ someone For once, not me. Someone in Welwyn Garden City. Or Welwyn Garden Shitty by the look on their face. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 (edited) There has been a development in a missing person case in Cork that ive been following. I had put it in the local news thread but i cant be arsed finding it. A wife went missing a few years ago and the husband went on like a total weirdo in numerous interviews and public appeals. He didnt report her missing for about 4 day i think. He said "please come home Tina, I miss you....the dogs miss you" He also said "ive nothing to hide, my house has been searched, ive given the gardai keys to my house so they can search it any time they want. Months after she went missing he himself was driving past a bus stop and came across empty suitcases dumped there which belonged to them. Now a man in his 50's has been arrested on suspicion of murder. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Tina_Satchwell Make your own mind up. I have! ETA.. Richard is 57 years old. Just sayin. Edited October 10, 2023 by Nkomo-A-Gogo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted October 11, 2023 Share Posted October 11, 2023 12 hours ago, Nkomo-A-Gogo said: There has been a development in a missing person case in Cork that ive been following. I had put it in the local news thread but i cant be arsed finding it. A wife went missing a few years ago and the husband went on like a total weirdo in numerous interviews and public appeals. He didnt report her missing for about 4 day i think. He said "please come home Tina, I miss you....the dogs miss you" He also said "ive nothing to hide, my house has been searched, ive given the gardai keys to my house so they can search it any time they want. Months after she went missing he himself was driving past a bus stop and came across empty suitcases dumped there which belonged to them. Now a man in his 50's has been arrested on suspicion of murder. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Tina_Satchwell Make your own mind up. I have! ETA.. Richard is 57 years old. Just sayin. According to the Wikepedia article the man arrested was 50. Maybe the hubby changed it to cover his tracks! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted October 11, 2023 Share Posted October 11, 2023 53 minutes ago, hk blues said: According to the Wikepedia article the man arrested was 50. Maybe the hubby changed it to cover his tracks! In his 50's i think it says? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted October 11, 2023 Share Posted October 11, 2023 Do not participate in marshmallow-eating contests. (Headline from The S**.) TRAGIC END Mum-of-two Natalie Buss choked and died after cramming seven marshmallows into her mouth in eating competition 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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