The_Kincardine Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 Probably a vid a few on here would sympathise with: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor1874 Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 Girlfriend showed me something on Instagram posted by Gordon Ramsey earlier. His username is 'gordongram' and I made a funny pointing out that should be the nickname of my friend Gordon, who is fond of a certain drug. She laughed, then proceeded to have the following conversation with me: Her: I dunno what the G stands for Me: Eh? Her: Well it's Gordon G Ram, but dunno what the G stands for, like must be his middle name or something Me: Or it's just a play on the word Instagram? Her: Nah that's a shite username, don't be stupid *look up Gordon Ramsay's middle name which is James and proceed to show her, concluding the debate* Her: Well that's ****ing shite. His kids must be so embarrassed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 So why did she laugh at gram as in drugs?[emoji38] 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakedee Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 Sitting outside tonight, with the Mrs.a strange bird call was heard. After spending a few minutes googling different bird calls, we decided it was a barn owl. " wonder where they live" was her question. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brummie Clyde Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 Sitting outside tonight, with the Mrs.a strange bird call was heard. After spending a few minutes googling different bird calls, we decided it was a barn owl. " wonder where they live" was her question.Same place as Barney the Dinosaur I imagine 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor1874 Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 On 09/07/2020 at 22:34, D.A.F.C said: So why did she laugh at gram as in drugs? I don't think she really did. I think she just laughed to be polite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 (edited) Sterling work by Mrs Par. Her sis brought her “new” man - an old teenage sweetheart who she had recently hooked up with - to visit us pre-lockdown. I have the patience of a saint but this boy got on my nerves so much, and Par Jr was also struggling to warm to him. Not long after, romance had apparently fizzled out so Mrs Par told her sister what a nippy c**t her man was and that we couldn’t stand him. She has now got back with him so that should make future visits a good laugh. Edited July 17, 2020 by Shandon Par 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 Sterling work by Mrs Par. Her sis brought her “new” man - an old teenage sweetheart who she had recently hooked up with - to visit us pre-lockdown. I have the patience of a saint but this boy got on my nerves so much, and Par Jr was also struggling to warm to him. Not long after, romance had apparently fizzled out so Mrs Par told her sister what a nippy c**t her man was and that we couldn’t stand him. She has now got back with him so that should make future visits a good laugh. Brilliant. You never badmouth love interests ffs. Absolutely no good, but plenty of bad, can come of it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 6 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: 4 hours ago, Shandon Par said: Sterling work by Mrs Par. Her sis brought her “new” man - an old teenage sweetheart who she had recently hooked up with - to visit us pre-lockdown. I have the patience of a saint but this boy got on my nerves so much, and Par Jr was also struggling to warm to him. Not long after, romance had apparently fizzled out so Mrs Par told her sister what a nippy c**t her man was and that we couldn’t stand him. She has now got back with him so that should make future visits a good laugh. Brilliant. You never badmouth love interests ffs. Absolutely no good, but plenty of bad, can come of it He was in my bad books from the start as he messaged something not explicit, but a bit over-friendly/cheeky to Mrs when he first appeared on the scene. I wanted to reprimand him but Mrs persuaded new to keep the peace and that “he was a nice guy, just friendly and cheeky”. I managed to be civil and she spent about 45 minutes slating him in great detail instead to her sister. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 13 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: He was in my bad books from the start as he messaged something not explicit, but a bit over-friendly/cheeky to Mrs when he first appeared on the scene. I wanted to reprimand him but Mrs persuaded new to keep the peace and that “he was a nice guy, just friendly and cheeky”. I managed to be civil and she spent about 45 minutes slating him in great detail instead to her sister. This needs to be elaborated on 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 He was in my bad books from the start as he messaged something not explicit, but a bit over-friendly/cheeky to Mrs when he first appeared on the scene. I wanted to reprimand him but Mrs persuaded new to keep the peace and that “he was a nice guy, just friendly and cheeky”. I managed to be civil and she spent about 45 minutes slating him in great detail instead to her sister. Release the hound on him! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 6 hours ago, Shandon Par said: Sterling work by Mrs Par. Her sis brought her “new” man - an old teenage sweetheart who she had recently hooked up with - to visit us pre-lockdown. I have the patience of a saint but this boy got on my nerves so much, and Par Jr was also struggling to warm to him. Not long after, romance had apparently fizzled out so Mrs Par told her sister what a nippy c**t her man was and that we couldn’t stand him. She has now got back with him so that should make future visits a good laugh. Been there. Mate had an office romance, they fell out. I comforted him by bad mouthing "the boot he was better off without". He never said a word, within about 10 minutes, she turns up, it's back on, they get engaged and are still married. I don't see much of them now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 One of my mates, failing to anticipate what was ahead, nailed his future wife for the first time on a Saturday night then inbthe Sunday morning told us all if we get a chance we should definitely pump her, as she takes it up the arse and everything [emoji23]Whoops 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 4 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: One of my mates, failing to anticipate what was ahead, nailed his future wife for the first time on a Saturday night then inbthe Sunday morning told us all if we get a chance we should definitely pump her, as she takes it up the arse and everything Whoops 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 On 17/07/2020 at 16:46, Bairnardo said: One of my mates, failing to anticipate what was ahead, nailed his future wife for the first time on a Saturday night then inbthe Sunday morning told us all if we get a chance we should definitely pump her, as she takes it up the arse and everything Whoops I hope he did the decent thing and arranged a gangbang for you all. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 On 17/07/2020 at 15:13, Bairnardo said: On 17/07/2020 at 10:28, Shandon Par said: Sterling work by Mrs Par. Her sis brought her “new” man - an old teenage sweetheart who she had recently hooked up with - to visit us pre-lockdown. I have the patience of a saint but this boy got on my nerves so much, and Par Jr was also struggling to warm to him. Not long after, romance had apparently fizzled out so Mrs Par told her sister what a nippy c**t her man was and that we couldn’t stand him. She has now got back with him so that should make future visits a good laugh. Brilliant. You never badmouth love interests ffs. Absolutely no good, but plenty of bad, can come of it Boy I went to college with had a long-term girlfriend who nobody could stand. She really detested him having friends; when he had people over, she wouldn't say a word to anyone and would summon him to leave the room if she had anything to say to him. After a while, he started telling people they'd split up, and he was back living with his parents. Virtually everyone was delighted and told him she was a torn-faced boot including (apparently) his parents. He said nothing about it at the time, but weeks later it became apparent they were working some sort of benefits scam, pretending to have split to get more money from the government somehow (they had five kids, which he freely admitted they'd made so as to never have to work). ...awkward. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyrshireTon Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 Many, many years ago. Her (ex-gf, driving): That idiot's driving with his lights on and it's a beautiful day. Me: It's a Volvo, their lights are always on. Her: No they're not. Me: There's another Volvo - got its lights on too. (I point this out for the next handful of Volvos we pass, but she refused to believe me). Her: f**k-off, Volvos don't always have their lights on. Me: Yes they do, I'm fairly sure it's a legal thing in Sweden so it's standard on Volvos. Her: You're making that up. Me: No, I promise I'm not. Silence. And she fell out with me for suggesting it. This girl frequently pointed out that her degree was a better one than mine. Her father confirmed the lights thing later (stating a lack of daylight hours in winter) but no apology ever came. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 On 17/07/2020 at 17:28, Shandon Par said: Sterling work by Mrs Par. Her sis brought her “new” man - an old teenage sweetheart who she had recently hooked up with - to visit us pre-lockdown. I have the patience of a saint but this boy got on my nerves so much, and Par Jr was also struggling to warm to him. Not long after, romance had apparently fizzled out so Mrs Par told her sister what a nippy c**t her man was and that we couldn’t stand him. She has now got back with him so that should make future visits a good laugh. This is not going to end well. Keep us updated. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 Many, many years ago. Her (ex-gf, driving): That idiot's driving with his lights on and it's a beautiful day. Me: It's a Volvo, their lights are always on. Her: No they're not. Me: There's another Volvo - got its lights on too. (I point this out for the next handful of Volvos we pass, but she refused to believe me). Her: f**k-off, Volvos don't always have their lights on. Me: Yes they do, I'm fairly sure it's a legal thing in Sweden so it's standard on Volvos. Her: You're making that up. Me: No, I promise I'm not. Silence. And she fell out with me for suggesting it. This girl frequently pointed out that her degree was a better one than mine. Her father confirmed the lights thing later (stating a lack of daylight hours in winter) but no apology ever came. Pretty much fitted as standard on everything now too, but as an auto spark of 30+ years Volvo were definitely the first I saw them on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the aggressive beggar Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 Watching Everest last night, there's a bit where the guide tells the group that the summit is at the cruising altitude of a 747. The wife "how come they don't crash into it?" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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