effeffsee_the2nd Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 why let the truth get inthe way of a good story? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 why let the truth get inthe way of a good story? Quite. A job as a subheading writer at The Sun awaits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 On a shopping trip to glasgow many moons ago we were at the traffic lights when they started beeping to indicate the green man, 2 american women absolutly shat it not knowing what this crazy alarm was. when we explained to them that all was well and it was a signal for blind people to cross the road they looked in sheer horrer and declared "OH MY GOD YOU SCOTTISH LET BLIND PEOPLE DRIVE CARS!!" In this fantasy tale, if you had actually told them what you described, why would they be under the impression that we let them drive? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effeffsee_the2nd Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 In a made up story anything can happen but. Anyhoo time to stop digging 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 That one is an old one. The way I heard it, it was a couple of American tourists in a taxi in Princes St, Embra, who asked the driver what the beep beep sound was when they stopped at a crossing. The next question they asked was why did they build the castle so far away from the shops. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 effeffsee told that joke the way a babe would have. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effeffsee_the2nd Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 thanx hon xxx 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mid-table Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 My girlfriend likes watching the football. She's very knowledgable about players, teams, rivalries, knows the rules etc. However, she can't grasp the competitions. For example, she couldn't understand how both Celtic and Man Utd could be "champions". She's starting to get the concept that every country has its own league, and more than one league at that. However now there is a new struggle, cup competitions; "How can Munich and Chelsea both be European champions?", "how can Hibs be in a final when they are 9th", "so are Wigan the champions now? That's hardly fair to Man Utd" etc.... She also protested that its a "fucking disgrace" (she's got a way for words) that British teams should compete in Europe, as we're not in the Euro. I like the sound of her, she's a keeper. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albino Rover Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 effeffsee told that joke the way a babe would have. Speaking of irony on this thread, should the title not be "Out of the mouths of babes"? Enjoying it a lot, BTW. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Capsule Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Speaking of irony on this thread, should the title not be "Out of the mouths of babes"? Enjoying it a lot, BTW. I wish my girlfriend was as anal as you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 I wish my girlfriend was as anal as you. She is 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 I wish my girlfriend was as anal as you. ^^^ Mad Suppository, IMO 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albino Rover Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 I wish my girlfriend was as anal as you. Messy living room? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boomtown Boy Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Me again, consistent contributer. Was in her mothers house on Friday night past and when I walked through the hall and into livingroom a really fishy smell about knocked me out (there is another joke in here somewhere but will concenrate on the facts for now) I said to the mother in law that there was an bad smell of fish and did she have fish for dinner. No she replied we went out dinner tonight so not cooked anything. 10 minutes later the wives uncle walked into the house and said the exact same thing about the fishy smell. The mother in law was on her guard by now and got up to see what the fuss was about opening cupboard doors in the hall and walking between rooms and said she was able to smell it as well and didnt know what it was. After a few mintes looking for something to attribute the smell to she came away with a classic. "maybe its something I have stood on" "what you have stood on a fvckin fish" still laughing about it writing this post lol 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Good story, but what was the fishy smell? I need to know now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boomtown Boy Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 the big trout hanging off her shoe lol trying no to dwell on the source too much m8 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savagecabbage Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 A fishy smell can be a sign of a loose electrical connection in a socket or worse at the distribution board. Its the smell you get from arching connections heating up the units. When ever someone says they smell something like that its the first thing to check. I'd check it out ASAP as it can cause a fire. Check the main distribution board any shower switch and sockets particularly if there's a heater plugged into one. If in doubt get an electrician to look at it. Sent from my HTC One X using Pie & Bovril mobile app 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mordecai Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 A fishy smell can be a sign of a loose electrical connection in a socket or worse at the distribution board. Its the smell you get from arching connections heating up the units. When ever someone says they smell something like that its the first thing to check. I'd check it out ASAP as it can cause a fire. Check the main distribution board any shower switch and sockets particularly if there's a heater plugged into one. If in doubt get an electrician to look at it. Sent from my HTC One X using Pie & Bovril mobile app This^^ It can be pretty serious. A similar thing happened back when I was at school. There was a fire that closed off a whole area for a few weeks. I'd get it checked out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Or maybe her fanny was gantin' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 "Auntie, either your fanny's needing a scrub or the hoose is about to burn doon. Either way, I'm out through the window" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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