DA Baracus Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 What that girl needs is a shoulder to cry on, and a wee bit of anal. If you really cared about her, you'd help her out. I don't think she's in the mood for anal. God I hope the I.T. team aren't monitoring this. Kicked a mentally unstable nutter in the pie and saved an innocent bloke from waking up to find his household pet in the pressure cooker. Hmmm. That would look decent in a reference. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Not really a "howler", but my friend asked me to look after her rabbit over the weekend while she's away. No probs - bung it some hay and a stick of celery then on my merry way. Not so, apparently I'm supposed to let it out its room, talk to it, and... give it cuddles. The fact that the big hairy b*****d hates my fucking guts and won't give me the time of day (except when I'm feeding it) seems to be lost on her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Not really a "howler", but my friend asked me to look after her rabbit over the weekend while she's away. No probs - bung it some hay and a stick of celery then on my merry way. Not so, apparently I'm supposed to let it out its room, talk to it, and... give it cuddles. The fact that the big hairy b*****d hates my fucking guts and won't give me the time of day (except when I'm feeding it) seems to be lost on her. Can she not just stick it back in the drawer or under the bed like normal lassies do? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Not really a "howler", but my friend asked me to look after her rabbit over the weekend while she's away. No probs - bung it some hay and a stick of celery then on my merry way. Not so, apparently I'm supposed to let it out its room, talk to it, and... give it cuddles. The fact that the big hairy b*****d hates my fucking guts and won't give me the time of day (except when I'm feeding it) seems to be lost on her. The rabbit is hardly likely to write a review on Trip Advisor. Chuck it a carrot every now and again and make sure you're hugging it when she returns 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Shag the rabbit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 (edited) Shag the rabbit. Funny you advise Cardinal to do this in his situation, but can't see that it's the glaringly obvious thing to do in yours! Edited June 6, 2014 by 19QOS19 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 The rabbit is hardly likely to write a review on Trip Advisor. Chuck it a carrot every now and again and make sure you're hugging it when she returns Chortle. You're right that he can't communicate directly, but he does go in a huff if he's locked for days on end without getting let out to chew any books or expensive electrical items you've left lying on the couch. And as for hugging it, if I tried that he would bite me (he's got previous for it). My friend is the only one who can actually hug him without him bolting or baring his teeth. Uninterestingly enough (She bored me rigid talking about this, so it's my turn to pass it on to you), carrots are bad for rabbits - the only reason everyone associates carrots with rabbits is cos of Bugs Bunny. Oh, and there's no chance of that happening DA Baracus. The b*****ds so huge I'd probably end up being the one biting the hay. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I suggest coniglio a porchetta 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Chortle. You're right that he can't communicate directly, but he does go in a huff if he's locked for days on end without getting let out to chew any books or expensive electrical items you've left lying on the couch. And as for hugging it, if I tried that he would bite me (he's got previous for it). My friend is the only one who can actually hug him without him bolting or baring his teeth. Uninterestingly enough (She bored me rigid talking about this, so it's my turn to pass it on to you), carrots are bad for rabbits - the only reason everyone associates carrots with rabbits is cos of Bugs Bunny. Oh, and there's no chance of that happening DA Baracus. The b*****ds so huge I'd probably end up being the one biting the hay. At the risk of getting too deep into a carrot-based discussion, they're not "bad" as such, they just shouldnt be the main part of their diet. Mrs X quite regular gives hers a carrot but their main food is hay and pellet based food. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 If this DA Baracus lad has any sense at all, he'll take this emotionally vulnerable lassie out for a drink after work. She will spend the whole evening talking about this fella and drinking and if he holds his tongue and pretends to care he'll get to have drunken, awkward sex with her that night, followed by a teary and pained parting the next day and the pair of them ignoring each other forevermore. It's a win for all concerned. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Funny you advise Cardinal to do this in his situation, but can't see that it's the glaringly obvious thing to do in yours! For reasons that will be become clear later in this post, that isn't on the cards. Chortle. You're right that he can't communicate directly, but he does go in a huff if he's locked for days on end without getting let out to chew any books or expensive electrical items you've left lying on the couch. And as for hugging it, if I tried that he would bite me (he's got previous for it). My friend is the only one who can actually hug him without him bolting or baring his teeth. Uninterestingly enough (She bored me rigid talking about this, so it's my turn to pass it on to you), carrots are bad for rabbits - the only reason everyone associates carrots with rabbits is cos of Bugs Bunny. Oh, and there's no chance of that happening DA Baracus. The b*****ds so huge I'd probably end up being the one biting the hay. Take turns? If this DA Baracus lad has any sense at all, he'll take this emotionally vulnerable lassie out for a drink after work. She will spend the whole evening talking about this fella and drinking and if he holds his tongue and pretends to care he'll get to have drunken, awkward sex with her that night, followed by a teary and pained parting the next day and the pair of them ignoring each other forevermore. It's a win for all concerned. Sadly I would be rebuffed were I to ask her out for a drink due to my unappealling appearance. Were I a handsome fellow then the plan could certainly be a winner. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 For reasons that will be become clear later in this post, that isn't on the cards. Take turns? Sadly I would be rebuffed were I to ask her out for a drink due to my unappealling appearance. Were I a handsome fellow then the plan could certainly be a winner. She's an emotional wreck, that's a shooty-in for the ugly opportunist. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I don't think she's in the mood for anal. God I hope the I.T. team aren't monitoring this. Does she work in IT? If so, then yes, I'd say that your posts are being monitored. Also, you'll never know if you don't try. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 She's an emotional wreck, that's a shooty-in for the ugly opportunist. I don't think it would work. Does she work in IT? If so, then yes, I'd say that your posts are being monitored. Also, you'll never know if you don't try. Nah she works in the same department as me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Sadly I would be rebuffed were I to ask her out for a drink due to my unappealling appearance. You'd be surprised. Quite a few unbalanced girls fantasise about getting it up the arse from ugly blokes. It's a way of getting back at their boyfriends, who were barred from there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 The fact that the big hairy b*****d hates my fucking guts and won't give me the time of day (except when I'm feeding it) seems to be lost on her.What about the rabbit, though? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eindhovendee Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I used to go out with a lovely lass from Aberdeen, she liked a rabbit up her arse at the same time she was getting shagged. She worked in an office as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I used to go out with a lovely lass from Aberdeen, she liked a rabbit up her arse at the same time she was getting shagged. Couldn't you have swapped round from time to time? And no, I don't mean she put the rabbit up yours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I used to go out with a lovely lass from Aberdeen, she liked a rabbit up her arse at the same time she was getting shagged. She worked in an office as well. Do you know the difference between a rabbit and a hare? You can't pull a rabbit out yer arse. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Well he seems happy at the moment but he could turn at a moment's notice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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