Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Well he seems happy at the moment but he could turn at a moment's notice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Well he seems happy at the moment but he could turn at a moment's notice. Aye, no wonder. It's on the fu¢king couch while you sit on the floor. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eindhovendee Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Couldn't you have swapped round from time to time? And no, I don't mean she put the rabbit up yours. I did offer in a very gentlemanly way to do that but my offer was refused. To be fair I was happy to be there sharing an intimate moment with her and a vibrating sex toy. Just the three of us. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eindhovendee Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Well he seems happy at the moment but he could turn at a moment's notice. Is it a chameleon rabbit? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Death awaits ye, with pointy teeth! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I don't think it would work. Nah she works in the same department as me. You're no' very experienced in the noble art of wenching, are you? That's a self confidence issue, kiddo. You need more self belief if you're ever going to pump every lassie in the world (aim high). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 DA Baracus, get it pumped! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 I've been getting bother with my right hand, the wife thinks I might have "channel tunnel syndrome". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 I've been getting bother with my right hand, the wife thinks I might have "channel tunnel syndrome". Give the fisting a break for a wee while and you'll be fine. Bonus: maybe her "Channel Tunnel" will tighten up a bit too 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 That 'cave' is actually an old copper mine along the side of Loch Tay. Felt compelled to share that for some reason, sorry. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingapar Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 "Normandy, that's in Germany eh?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 "Normandy, that's in Germany eh?" It would have been if we hadn't have won... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lichtie23 Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 "What was D-Day all about anyway" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetterlund Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 You're no' very experienced in the noble art of wenching, are you? That's a self confidence issue, kiddo. You need more self belief if you're ever going to pump every lassie in the world (aim high). This thread is getting dangerously close to being moved to the NSFW forum, where it could possibly be renamed "Into the mouth of babes". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Cort's Hamstring Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 "Normandy, that's in Germany eh?" That reminds me, my old flatmate thought Dunkirk was in Scotland. She's a doctor... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 That reminds me, my old flatmate thought Dunkirk was in Scotland. She's a doctor... It is. It's a wee toon between Dunfermline and Falkirk 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 "University of Southern California? Is that the shop? USC?" *facepalm* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamaldo Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I vote DA gets it pumped! Just act all interested and shit,she'll shag you and then tell you you should be friends but it'll be so awkward she'll never talk to you about her love life again. Win win! You get hole and no psycho chat, failing that she gets up the duff and you are stuck for life, which is not win win. Also it's an invasion of privacy but not strictly breaking any criminal law I can think of? Alright Richard keys calm down. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Talking about the football in work today and there's one wee mutant Rangers fan that thinks she knows what she's talking about when in actual fact she hasn't got the slightest idea and just laps up the WATP chat but anyway we were saying how good Holland were etc. and she pipes up with "Aye, ah wisnae expectin' that but The Holland were just too cynical with the finishing". One guy corrected her and then asked when Holland had been liquidated. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forever_blue Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Update on the lassie mentioned above. Every single day since then I (and anyone else unlucky enough to be within earshot) have heard her bleat on and on about it. She actually appears to be mentally unstable as she has managed to hack his Facebook, emails and phone and so is reading everything everything he sends and receives. She managed to get a list of phone calls he made and spends ages pouring over what might have been said at 11.23pm etc. She is on her phone all day at work obsessing over this. This often results in multiple teary breakdowns most days. She is coming with utter buillshit about how she is '10 steps ahead of him' because she can read all his messages on his phone and his Facebook, yet the guy is just getting on with his life whilst she maniacally pours over every little detail of the guy's life. She decided the other day that it was over for good and proudly crowed about it, yet still agonises over every single message the guy sends. He clearly is unaware she has managed to get his passwords and doesn't know she is spying on him like a fucking psycho. Of course all the females are rallying around her and saying she is right. No one, and I have to include myself in this, has the balls to tell her to shut the f**k up and point out just how crazy she is acting and how what she is doing is so utterly wrong. She is ill and has talked about having to take sleeping pills and not eating properly (she has noticeably lost weight) but it's all self inflicted. She just can't keep off her phone spying on this guy. She thinks she's being so smart and getting one over on him (even declaring this out loud), yet she's utterly obsessed over the issue and is acting so appallingly unhinged. I actually fear for her a bit. Obviously I feel sorry for her. From talking to a colleague, the guy wasn't actually pumping another bird, just talking to her a lot and spending time with her. I think they are pumping now, but only after the bird at my work said it was over. I think the guy was having doubts about his relationship and was considering pumping the other bird, and may have technically 'cheated' on the work bird, and of course that's poor chat, but there is no excuse for her behaviour. I do feel sorry for her to a point, as break ups are bad and they've been together a number of years, but she is just acting so utterly mental and hurting herself every day mentally over it. I'm a bit angry with the female colleagues at work encouraging her and not telling her straight to stop it as well. Even now I look over at her and she's on her phone, thinking she's being so clever snooping on this guy. It's consumed her life to the point that it is her life. She scoffs over messages he sends and gets, predictably calling the other lassie a hoor etc, yet it seems he is trying to get on with his life whilst she crumbles. She just needs to cut all contact with him and move on. If she keeps up what she's doing, she's really going to make herself ill and I actually think she might harm herself or do something stupid that ends up hurting her. this sounds remarkably similar to what the likes of dhenboy, hellbhoy and bosshog seem to be going through on the bralt . you better speak to her soon, last thing you want is her getting as paranoid and unstable as that lot 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.