ajwffc Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 Falkirk's very own poet laureate is at it again: Got carried away with this one. Like swirls of strawberry angel delight Formations capture a wonderful sight More beautiful than tongue can tellMakes me long to shout and yell. More please! Such a sensation This delicious, scrumptious combination Of smooth and silky fiery sky Up there, above, reflecting high. While challenging our comprehension Releasing our inner tension With the beauty of a sunset spread In this gorgeous fiery colour red. Seen in this amazing sky tonight Makes everything feel just so right Thanks be to Mother Nature’s show Brings peace, as only we who know. Lorna Johnston Better than her effort from last weekNo doubt many folk can relate to this.Inspiration comes in weird ways.Isn’t life a bitch.Tea stains on the worktopCaps off toothpaste tubesChewing gum on pavements Frustrating Rubic Cubes.Scum on inside kitchen sinkWhen cooking fats not cleanedOff the flipping frying panMakes me want to scream.Dishes piled in empty sinkIt drives me oh so crazyAnd now I have to clear them outCause folk are really lazy.Milk put in the morning teaBefore the water firstArghhhhh it makes me scream and shoutFit to burst.I cannot stand the constant waitWhen shoppers like to bagThe check out as there personal spaceTo have a good chinwag.And gripe about their worldly woesWhile me and many more Lose patience, drawing daggers Blood pressure set to soar.They then proceed to bag their stuffIn regimental orderIt really drives me round the bendClose to insanity border.Out comes the vouchers Time stands stillThen the bank cardI swear I will.Go off my headThe stress is mountingWhen will they moveThe minutes counting.A wee chit here A wee chat thereGoing to screamToo much to bear.Don’t get me started on the busesWhen two come along together Standing freezing,with face like fizzIn typically cauld wet weather.As if that’s really not enoughWhen asking why they’re lateA grunt, a mumble barely heardNot worth the bother mate.But what is worse is when like meYou’re waiting in for workmen Every minute drags like hoursAnd then.You’re getting really well fired up And there’s a call to sayEh! sorry we’re going to be late Ok?Eh! no it’s really not okayI mumble neath my breathAye fine, will see you soon no doubt While feeling really stressed.So if you ask what has got me Writing this wee dittyIt’s waiting in and still no showAnd I’m just feeling shitty.So if you see a wee demented Woman pass your wayThis is not the time to shoutHave a good day.Lorna Johnston.30th November, 2017. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 PARKLIFE! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Growl3th Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 3 hours ago, Boghead ranter said: Why doesn't she just like'n'share all the numerous RV giveaway posts? She'll get one eventually. I've been trying that for years and not got anything yet. Surely It's my turn soon? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 The Evening Telegraph strikes again. The actual state of this loser [emoji38] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 (edited) 6 hours ago, sjc said: A girl I went to school with that now lives in American has started a "go fund me" page on her FB because she fancies a motorhome! Aye nae bother. Here's the $20,000 you're after! Link Plz babes, will chip in a few quid on giro day xx Edited December 4, 2017 by LincolnHearts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 If folk could share this amongst gullible friends and then post the results, that would be great 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 If folk could share this amongst gullible friends and then post the results, that would be great That one is mildly entertaining. Shared Kirkcaldy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajwffc Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 Just now, ajwffc said: I'd be wearing a bullet proof vest if I were her. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 59 minutes ago, ajwffc said: AMEN That poor girl. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Brightside Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 Where’s the “AMEN” button? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajwffc Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 (edited) Do I think you're a "bit too nostalgic"? No, I think you're a dishonest, senile auld git who should be euthanised. Seriously; who takes the time to invent this crap? And why? Edited December 6, 2017 by Shotgun 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 5 minutes ago, Shotgun said: Do I think you're a "bit too nostalgic"? No, I think you're a dishonest, senile auld git who should be euthanised. Seriously; who takes the time to invent this crap? And why? Normally these things read like a justification of the shitehouse way the author was dragged up, but this seems like an auld fart wishing he still had a wife and kids to do everything for him. Make yourself dinner, you lazy old b*****d, and maybe the weans would visit more if you stopped asking them to sweep the close on their way out. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 10 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: Normally these things read like a justification of the shitehouse way the author was dragged up, but this seems like an auld fart wishing he still had a wife and kids to do everything for him. Make yourself dinner, you lazy old b*****d, and maybe the weans would visit more if you stopped asking them to sweep the close on their way out. Aye but the children were seldom unhappy and were a lot more contented. And the wife too, was content with her lot. I wonder if he ever asked his wife and kids if that was the case, or if he just took it for granted because 'he' was happy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackbirdonthewire Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 1 hour ago, ThatBoyRonaldo said: I can't be the only person reading this to the tune of Womack and Womack, surely? "tea stains on the worktop, remind me baby of you" That’s a great song to f*ck to! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 "Your Year In Review" incoming. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCelt67 Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 Shared by a lassie I went to school with, who lives in Barmulloch. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 On 12/6/2017 at 18:04, ajwffc said: Absolutely all of this happened and isn't in the slightest made up 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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