Annoying things people write on Facebook

[SaltyTON]

Status About snow

Status about sarcastically asking if it's snowing, due to the overwhelming posts about snow

Posts bitching about people who post about the snow

People then complaining it isn't snowing in their area, and how unfair its.

We don't have snow, and I'm happy about it. Snow in Scotland is shit, real American snow that's three feet deep and gets you off work/school, and keeps annoying relatives away from your house is where it's at!

[xaviermaw]

Quality thread so far with particular mentions to the boring girls living every minute of their chronic lifes on FB (but they secretly like their chronicness - makes them feel all 'Carrie Bradshaw' or Rachael Green) , old firm spunk-rags who have never been to games ending every post in acronyms like WATP, IJCGE, and of course - even educated adults putting random 'h's after the first letter of words!!

BUT

THE MOST ANNOYING FB PATTER EVER IS!!!...........................

..............people telling you about ther 'TRAINING!'. WHAT!!?? No matter the physical activity punters on FB call it TRAINING!!

You are a fat munter from Easterhouse that goes to spin with her maw once a fortnight- you are NOT TRAINING!!!

You are a pseudo-anorexic accountant called Andrew who plays fives with his work on a Tuesday - you are NOT TRAINING

Gets on ma nips - unless you are actually in a sports team, or are going to the Olympics you are NOT TRAINING!!!

[Supras]

Quality thread so far with particular mentions to the boring girls living every minute of their chronic lifes on FB (but they secretly like their chronicness - makes them feel all 'Carrie Bradshaw' or Rachael Green) , old firm spunk-rags who have never been to games ending every post in acronyms like WATP, IJCGE, and of course - even educated adults putting random 'h's after the first letter of words!!

BUT

THE MOST ANNOYING FB PATTER EVER IS!!!........................ ...

..............people telling you about ther 'TRAINING!'. WHAT!!?? No matter the physical activity punters on FB call it TRAINING!!

You are a fat munter from Easterhouse that goes to spin with her maw once a fortnight- you are NOT TRAINING!!!

You are a pseudo-anorexic accountant called Andrew who plays fives with his work on a Tuesday - you are NOT TRAINING

Gets on ma nips - unless you are actually in a sports team, or are going to the Olympics you are NOT TRAINING!!!

I'm not in a sports team but I am going to training tonight. It's called training, it's every week and it's organised and operated by a professional. It's training.

Unlucky. Never posted about it on facebook, however, but then against I never really post anything.

Edited December 6, 2011 by Supras

[Vanquinho.]

This is a conversation I had with a girl I know quite well, edited slightly for clarity.

Her - I'm getting a new tattoo, of a Guns n Roses quote

Me - Awesome, saying what?

Her - Welcome to Paradise City

Me - Nice one... wait isn't that supposed to be 'Welcome to the Jungle' or 'Take me down to the paradise city'?

Her - Naw, I made it up myself. As you do with tattoos

Me - But if it's a quote then isn't it meant to be exactly what they say?

Her - It's a quote I made up, by myself.

Me - Ah ok

No chance will I be deleting her as she is good for some stupid shite and also because I will be tapping it soon.

Edited for rank spelling.

Edited December 6, 2011 by Vanquinho.

[Sooky]

I think one of my friends status sums it up best;

Is this facebook or the met office?

[#Gary]

Surprised I've not made it on here given dunning's a frequent poster on this thread and I tend to post a lot of shite - mostly moaning about everything and anything.

A mate of mine just posted this monstrosity:

Bullying killed her, there and then carmen decided that she couldn't take the bullying any longer. She planned to stay behind, that evening, after school, and tell her teacher what had been happening. Unfortunately, her decision came too late to save her life.After lunch, her teacher announced that the school was holding a fire drill. When the alarm sounded, Carmen and the other students filed out of the classroom and assembled in the yard outside. As the teachers read out the roll call, the gang of five girls decided that this was a great opportunity to embarrass Carmen in front of the whole school during the fire drill. They moved over to where Carmen was standing, near a sewer drain, and began crowding the poorgirl, getting in her face and nudging her towards the open manhole.They pushed her and she tripped over and fell head-first down the manhole. When they saw her falling, the girls started giggling and when Carmen's name was called out, they shouted "She's down in the sewer!"All of the other students began laughing. But when the teachers looked down the manhole and saw Carmen's body lying at the bottom in the muck and the poop, the laughter abruptly stopped. Her head was twisted around at an odd angle and her face was covered in blood. Worse still, she wasn't moving. There was nothing any of the teachers could do for her. Carmen was dead. When the police arrived and went down into the sewer, they determined that she had broken her neck. Her face had been torn off when she hit the ladder on the way down and her neck snapped when she landed on her head on the concrete at the bottom.The police hauled Carmen's body out of the sewer and sent her to the mortuary. Everyone had to stay behind after school while the police questioned all of Carmen's classmates. The five girlslied to the police, saying they had witnessed Carmen falling down the sewer. The police believed the girls and Carmen Winstead's death was ruled an accident and the case was closed. Everyone thought that was the last they would hear of Carmen Winstead, but they were wrong.Months later, Carmen's classmates began receiving strange e-mails on their MySpaces. The e-mails were titled "They Pushed Her" and claimed that Carmen hadn't really fallen down the sewer, she had been pushed. The e-mails also warned that the guilty people should own up and take responsibility for their crime. If they didn't there would be horrible consequenc es. Most people dismissed the e-mails as a hoax, but others were not so sure.A few days later, one of the girls who pushed Carmen down the sewer was at home taking a shower, when she heard a strange cackling laugh. It seemed to be coming from the drain. The girl started to freak out and ran out of the bathroom. That night, the girl said goodnight to her mom and went to sleep. Five hours later, her mom was awoken in the middle of the night, by a loudnoise that resounded throughout the house. She ran into her daughter's room, only to find it empty. There was no trace of the girl. The worried mother called the police and when they arrived, they conducted a search of the area. Eventually, they discovered the girl's grisly remains.Her corpse was lying in the sewer, covered in muck and poop. Her neck was broken and her face missing. It had been completely torn off. One by one, all of the girls who pushed Carmen that day were found dead. They had all been killed in exactly the same way and were all found at exactly the same spot. In the sewer at the bottom of the same uncovered manhole where Carmen had met her doom. But the killing didn't stop there. More and more of Carmen's former classmates were found dead. It seemed that anyone who didn't believe that Carmen had been pushed, was eventually found down in the sewer with their necks broken and their faces torn off.They say that Carmen's ghost is still on the rampage, hunting down anyone who doesn't believe her story. According to the legend, Carmen will get you, whetherit's from a toilet, a shower, a sink or a drain. When you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in complete darkness, paralyzed, unable to move, hearing cackling laughter all around you. Then, as you scream in horror, Carmen will come and tear your face off.So be careful who you bully, because you just might find yourself on the receiving end of the curse of Carmen Winstead.FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.Even Google her name - you'll find this to b e true. Repost this if your against bullying

Edited December 7, 2011 by garymcc1874

[Benjamin_Nevis]

I think one of my friends status sums it up best;

Girl on mine posted that word for word.

Mind you, so has almost everyone.

[wunfellaff]

there are moments in life when you wish you could bring someone down from Heaven. Spend the day with them just one more time, give them one more hug kiss them goodbye or hear their voice again. One more chance to say I LOVE YOU. Copy and paste in remembrance of someone who is not here xx

I did copy and paste, ONTO HERE!!!!!!!!! And the someone not here is YOU ya jamrag. Deleted? Delighted .

[K.T]

"just so everyone knows, I will have a CHRISTMAS TREE in my living room (not a holiday tree), my kids are getting CHRISTMAS PRESENTS (not holiday gifts) and we will eat CHRISTMAS DINNER (not a holiday meal), and I will attend a CHRISTMAS PARTY (not a holiday party). I will also very cheerfully wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS! (not... happy holidays). By the way, if you want to have a Happy Hanukah , by all means do, I respect that. If you want to have a Blessed Kwanzaa, I also respect that. I want to have a Merry Christmas, so I ask YOU to respect that! Repost if you agree."

[K.T]

"just so everyone knows, I will have a CHRISTMAS TREE in my living room (not a holiday tree), my kids are getting CHRISTMAS PRESENTS (not holiday gifts) and we will eat CHRISTMAS DINNER (not a holiday meal), and I will attend a CHRISTMAS PARTY (not a holiday party). I will also very cheerfully wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS! (not... happy holidays). By the way, if you want to have a Happy Hanukah , by all means do, I respect that. If you want to have a Blessed Kwanzaa, I also respect that. I want to have a Merry Christmas, so I ask YOU to respect that! Repost if you agree."

[NathanQP]

"just so everyone knows, I will have a CHRISTMAS TREE in my living room (not a holiday tree), my kids are getting CHRISTMAS PRESENTS (not holiday gifts) and we will eat CHRISTMAS DINNER (not a holiday meal), and I will attend a CHRISTMAS PARTY (not a holiday party). I will also very cheerfully wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS! (not... happy holidays). By the way, if you want to have a Happy Hanukah , by all means do, I respect that. If you want to have a Blessed Kwanzaa, I also respect that. I want to have a Merry Christmas, so I ask YOU to respect that! Repost if you agree."

U agree then?

[SaltyTON]

Carmen Winstead.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to b e true.

Okay, I'll play along...

http://www.scaryforkids.com/carmen-winstead/

Some of the comments are comedy gold! :lol:

My favourite slagging a spelling mistake fail...

"i belive it but you spelled yogurt worng" :lol:

[K.T]

U agree then?

I'll be honest. I'm not even sure what point it's trying to make?

[stonedsailor]

I'll be honest. I'm not even sure what point it's trying to make?

:lol:

[Benjamin_Nevis]

"Omg just got a bus to dundee,so proud of myself:-)not looking forward to coming home tho:-/"

[jamamafegan]

People who join Facebook in the first place - an online application specifically designed to allow needy people to notice and get noticed - and then bitch about the neediness of others.

^^^has no friends

[city_gord]

This is similar to how I imagine cavemen talked to each other...

[jamamafegan]

What does ^^^ mean?

I don't speak "street", "gangsta" or "ghetto".

Have a wee think about it.

[wunfellaff]

This is similar to how I imagine cavemen talked to each other...

Full steam ahead for a bj though

[mattydfc]

Bullying killed her. There and then, Carmen decided that she couldn’t take the bullying any longer. She planned to stay behind, that evening, after school, and tell her teacher what had been happening. Unfortunately, her decision came too late to save her life.

After lunch, her teacher announced that the school was holding a fire drill. When the alarm sounded, Carmen and the other students filed out of the classroom and assembled in the yard outside. As the teachers read out the roll call, the gang of five girls decided that this was a great opportunity to embarrass Carmen in front of the whole school during the fire drill. They moved over to where Carmen was standing, near a sewer drain, and began crowding the poorgirl, getting in her face and nudging her towards the open manhole.

They pushed her and she tripped over and fell head-first down the manhole. When they saw her falling, the girls started giggling and when Carmen’s name was called out, they shouted "She’s down in the sewer!"

All of the other students began laughing. But when the teachers looked down the manhole and saw Carmen’s body lying at the bottom in the muck and the poop, the laughter abruptly stopped. Her head was twisted around at an odd angle and her face was covered in blood. Worse still, she wasn’t moving. There was nothing any of the teachers could do for her. Carmen was dead. When the police arrived and went down into the sewer, they determined that she had broken her neck. Her face had been torn off when she hit the ladder on the way down and her neck snapped when she landed on her head on the concrete at the bottom.

The police hauled Carmen’s body out of the sewer and sent her to the mortuary. Everyone had to stay behind after school while the police questioned all of Carmen’s classmates. The five girlslied to the police, saying they had witnessed Carmen falling down the sewer. The police believed the girls and Carmen Winstead’s death was ruled an accident and the case was closed. Everyone thought that was the last they would hear of Carmen Winstead, but they were wrong.

Months later, Carmen’s classmates began receiving strange e-mails on their MySpaces. The e-mails were titled "They Pushed Her" and claimed that Carmen hadn’t really fallen down the sewer, she had been pushed. The e-mails also warned that the guilty people should own up and take responsibility for their crime. If they didn’t there would be horrible consequenc es. Most people dismissed the e-mails as a hoax, but others were not so sure.

A few days later, one of the girls who pushed Carmen down the sewer was at home taking a shower, when she heard a strange cackling laugh. It seemed to be coming from the drain. The girl started to freak out and ran out of the bathroom. That night, the girl said goodnight to her mom and went to sleep. Five hours later, her mom was awoken in the middle of the night, by a loudnoise that resounded throughout the house. She ran into her daughter’s room, only to find it empty. There was no trace of the girl. The worried mother called the police and when they arrived, they conducted a search of the area. Eventually, they discovered the girl’s grisly remains.

Her corpse was lying in the sewer, covered in muck and poop. Her neck was broken and her face missing. It had been completely torn off. One by one, all of the girls who pushed Carmen that day were found dead. They had all been killed in exactly the same way and were all found at exactly the same spot. In the sewer at the bottom of the same uncovered manhole where Carmen had met her doom. But the killing didn’t stop there. More and more of Carmen’s former classmates were found dead. It seemed that anyone who didn’t believe that Carmen had been pushed, was eventually found down in the sewer with their necks broken and their faces torn off.

They say that Carmen’s ghost is still on the rampage, hunting down anyone who doesn’t believe her story. According to the legend, Carmen will get you, whetherit’s from a toilet, a shower, a sink or a drain. When you go to sleep, you’ll wake up in the sewer, in complete darkness, paralyzed, unable to move, hearing cackling laughter all around you. Then, as you scream in horror, Carmen will come and tear your face off.

So be careful who you bully, because you just might find yourself on the receiving end of the curse of Carmen Winstead.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. Repost this if your against bullying

Edited December 8, 2011 by mattydfc