placidcasual Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Fucking hell... A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?" The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way: "Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires. Mermaids do not exist. But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish? They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side? Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale. At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends. We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated. Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! " No, it's because you can't stay away from the biscuit tin. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Fucking hell... No, it's because you can't stay away from the biscuit tin. Or as Jasper Carrott once said, it's because this hole here *points to gob* is bigger than this hole here *points to arse*. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 Saw this absolute belter of a share on my newsfeed: Refreshed with beverages, I just posted this. I await the onslaught 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zizou-5 Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 (edited) Single mother brigade, have been putting up pictures of their weans with Santa. With captions like " * Insert childs name* Had a big day today, She/he met Santa!!!!! " Then all the other maws put in there generic replys " OMG, SOOO CUTE XXXX!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!! " All my energy is going into not writing " Saville in disguise" under every picture Edited December 8, 2012 by Zizou-5 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WFAANW Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 Someone posted a picture of what i assume is old Sevco players with the caption "the legends throughout the years since 1872 - till now!" What i want to know is, where are the fucking coffins 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaltyTON Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 (edited) "Really want something productive & spontaneous to do today." 5 likes, no comments. WTF is wrong with people? ETA lowest number of friends that a 'liker' has is 482, then 775, with 2 over 1000 and 1 over 2000. Edited December 9, 2012 by SaltyTON 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 (edited) just saw a relatively new mum (months) upload a picture of them in what im sure is an ayrshire nightclub with their child Edited December 10, 2012 by itzdrk 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Juan Guyé has been born!!! http://www.facebook.com/juan.guye Add me, and then PM me your annoying friends. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wunfellaff Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Juan Guyé has been born!!! http://www.facebook.com/juan.guye Add me, and then PM me your annoying friends. :lol: itzdrk is a BEAST wae that fotie! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 There's a guy on mine who's FB updates usually go something like this: I'm fanatical about football, I love the sport. However, I was absolutely sickened to see (insert latest fan controversy, examples include that Leeds fan, West Ham fans at WHL and yesterdays events in the Manc derby). This isn't what the game is about, and as someone who's going to Wembley for the England v Scotland game soon I find it quite intimidating. First of all, you aren't a fanatic, for a supposed jambo you couldn't find Tynie with a sat Nav and you talk about rugby during Embra derbies. Secondly, who really gives a f**k? What's the point in mock outrage? Finally, no c**t gives a f**k if you're going to Wembley. It's a friendly, shut your dish. <<<<<<<<< Seething. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadStar Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 Juan Guyé has been born!!! http://www.facebook.com/juan.guye Add me, and then PM me your annoying friends. I wonder who your first target there is? Full time mummy <3 perhaps 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 Could be getting kicked from someone's page sharpish, apologies for the Magee like images 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 I have a friend who is the worst facebooker there is, he will update about 5 times a day with just utter shite - quotes from films like anchorman that we have all laughed at about 6 years ago but are now just fucking boring, he also talks about how happy he is in life and with his new bird and its so cringeworthy I am embarrassed when I see him Sadly he isn't alone, too many people live their lives on that fucking network, I went through a phase of enjoying social media a little bit too much but did it on forums like this so no one in the actual world knew me, stuff on Facebook is there for the world to see but I don't think most people care about anything else other than likes on their status 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forzamorton Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) Words fail me. Edited December 11, 2012 by forzamorton 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaltyTON Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) Words fail me. Yeah, why do you have this mouth breather on your friends list? What is their connection to you? Edited December 11, 2012 by SaltyTON 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forzamorton Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 Yeah, why do you have this mouth breather on your friends list? What is their connection to you? I knew him from my younger years. Funnily enough, he is a boxer so coming out with idiotic posts like this is common from somebody who is hit repeatedly on the head. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullywee Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 Out of the blue and into the black You pay for this, but they give you that When you're out of the blue and into the black 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadénator Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 From Twitter but I'm putting it here anyway. Tweeted by Rangers/Ayr United player Kyle McAusland along with the comment "Scary stuff". 150 retweets and counting. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broken Algorithms Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 On the above.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 (edited) From Twitter but I'm putting it here anyway. Tweeted by Rangers/Ayr United player Kyle McAusland along with the comment "Scary stuff". 150 retweets and counting. Not only is it utter shit, but it's just terribly written. It would make a retarded child feel ashamed. Even the briefest bit of research into such shite would show it for the laughable pish it is. Why are people so quick to accept any old shite they read online? Also if such a thing were happening and NASA had confirmed it, don't people think it's odd that it hasn't been all over the news, that governments haven't been giving out advice etc? Edited December 12, 2012 by DA Baracus 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.