BFTD Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Zombie Creeping Flesh - dire and ponderous no-budget horror from the Seventies, brought to you by the director of the execrable Rats: Night of Terror. Boldly answers the timeless question; will anyone notice if we just re-use the soundtrack to Dawn of the Dead? Film supposedly takes place in Papua New Guinea, purely as an excuse to use large quantities of wildlife stock footage, some of which features animals that aren't indigenous to the island. Bad company creates gas that makes zombies, only for a leak to break out at their generic manufacturing plant. Time to send in the Italian SAS, I think, for reasons that aren't clear. Jump to a group of randoms besieged by zombies, who are rescued by our heroes. Cue lots of wandering around, to very little end. The movie has several examples of acting so atrocious that the people involved must never have met another human being before arriving on set. Also, several examples of utterly irrationality far above and beyond the norm for the genre, the most egregious being soldiers either throwing away or forgetting how to fire their guns when confronted by ravenous flesh-eaters. The zombie make-up is pants too; they look like they've been caught out in the rain after using some of that spray-on hair pish. Look out for this swivel-eyed loon, who clearly wants to rape something, but thankfully dies before he can make up his mind. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highland29 Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 I'm floored with flu at moment and need a film or 2 to pass the night - suggestions please. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 I'm floored with flu at moment and need a film or 2 to pass the night - suggestions please. The Running Man, something cheesy that should make you laugh and help you through the illness 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highland29 Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 Not seen that in years - good shout! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 It's half term down here so I took the weans to see Noah yesterday. 1/10 Even the cgi of the 'turned to stone angels' was shite. Russell Crowe was shite. Ray Winston was Ray Winston ie shite. Emma Watson? Utter shite. The lassie may have been an ok Hermione but she can't act. Oh and even Noah's Ark was shite. On the way home we decided it should be renamed 'Noah's Crate'. If you liked Mama Mia you'll love this. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 It's half term down here so I took the weans to see Noah yesterday. 1/10 Even the cgi of the 'turned to stone angels' was shite. Russell Crowe was shite. Ray Winston was Ray Winston ie shite. Emma Watson? Utter shite. The lassie may have been an ok Hermione but she can't act. Oh and even Noah's Ark was shite. On the way home we decided it should be renamed 'Noah's Crate'. If you liked Mama Mia you'll love this. I've been looking forward to that film Hopefully Godzilla makes up for any disappointment this looks likely to bring 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highland29 Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 Olympus has fallen is a great film! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quentin Taranbino Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 Joe - 8/10 Nic Cage in his best performance in many a year and Tye Sheridan (Mud) is excellent and a really talented young dude. It's weird that they kid from Mud is in this because the film has a lot of similarities. It's a very dark and depressing film but the acting is great throughout. May be a tad slow for some people but it didn't bother me. A fine film 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludo*1 Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 The Quiet Ones. Interested in this and quite enjoyed it until I got home and found out that the 'Inspired by True Events' was so far from the truth and loosely based that it felt a bit cheap of them even if it did only say 'inspired'. Lauren from Eastenders does an admirable job in this and it's an alright horror as they go. Few jumps, decent story but hardly ground breaking. One of those that the premise of the story is actually so much better than the actual film. Far too much is left unexplored regarding characters and it's just quite a mess of a film really, which is a shame, as it offers so much. 4/10. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Blue is the Warmest Colour - Last year's Palme d'Or winner (unconventionally awarded to the director and leading actresses) about a lesbian relationship. The film has gained a fair amount of international attention due to the controversy surrounding it's long ass sex scenes and bickering betweent the two main actresses and the director. It's a shame that this is what the film will be known for because it's got a lot more to it than that. Saying that, the sex scenes (not complaining like, ooh ya fucker) are so fucking long, it is basically pornographic. The rest of the film is quite a nuanced and genuine feeling love story so sticking in 10 minutes of birds scissoring each other was a strange choice. Or maybe sex is as natural a part of a relationship's story as the scenes showing the character's preparing food, going to parties etc and us non-French are just weird prudes? 7.5/10 Cabin in the Woods - I can't even fathom how melted the writers were when putting this together. f**k sake. ?/10 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Cabin in the Woods - I can't even fathom how melted the writers were when putting this together. f**k sake. ?/10 I watched half of this the other day (I fell asleep (not because it was shite)) and the flask bong is just incredible. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morrison Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Cabin in the Woods was really good fun. Hadn't seen any trailers before I saw it and it took me completely by surprise. Loved it. In the last few days I've seen The Double, Calvary and The Raid 2. Very different films, all really worth seeing. The Raid's really long though, so prepare yourself for that.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockysJetpack Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Seen that Noah film over here: Pretty mince tbh. Decent enough entertainment but there were loads of cuts between scenes that seemed to skip a reasonable period of time or some kind of event I felt they should have shown. Wouldn't advise paying to see it but maybe wait for it on Netflix or something. Also watched Mulholland Drive recently which was really good, but what the f**k happened?! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stumigoo Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Also watched Mulholland Drive recently which was really good, but what the f**k happened?! From what I can remember - Awesome lesbian stuff. Don't remember the rest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stumigoo Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Total Recall A film that the term 'generic' was made for! Had nothing on the original and was just a bog standard, nuts and bolts sic-fi action film. Lots of explosiony type stuff, lots of gadgets, but zero character. 4/10 The Watch You either find guys like Vaughn, Stiller and Hill watchable or fucking detestable. I don't really mind them, and as an afternoon film that you can just watch with your brian switched off it was decent. 5/10 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jester Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 I'm floored with flu at moment and need a film or 2 to pass the night - suggestions please. Outbreak or Contagion. I was unfortunate enough to be on a ferry yesterday where the onboard movie was Sunshine On Leith. How in the name of all that is holy did this tripe ever see the light of day? Not only was it shite, but they murdered some decent songs on the way. 0/10. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikebhoy123 Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Just watched the Grand Budapest Hotel..... Not bad... 6.5 / 10 Good cast - lots of wee cameo rolls so there are always faces you know popping up through the film. Story is about a concierge and a lobby boy he takes under his wing ( who goes on to own the hotel ) Quite funny in bits and quite an unusual story - worth a watch IMO After reading the reviews of posters here, I'm glad I didn't go and see Noah - which I was going to do but it was half way through a screening when I arrived and I didn't want to wait for the next one.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockysJetpack Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 From what I can remember - Awesome lesbian stuff. Don't remember the rest. There was indeed some lesbian scenes. Good film, classic Lynch though made it as confusing as possible by flipping the whole thing on it's head with about half an hour left. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stumigoo Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 There was indeed some lesbian scenes. Good film, classic Lynch though made it as confusing as possible by flipping the whole thing on it's head with about half an hour left. One thing I do remember about it is the scene at the start in the diner where the boy is explaining his nightmare, then they go out the back and... I just remember watching that and fucking bricking it at the time, don't know why but it still ranks as one of the scariest things I've seen in film (along with the whole of 'Return to Oz', f**k that) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Outbreak or Contagion. I was unfortunate enough to be on a ferry yesterday where the onboard movie was Sunshine On Leith. How in the name of all that is holy did this tripe ever see the light of day? Not only was it shite, but they murdered some decent songs on the way. 0/10. You can't blame them - the most popular shows on TV are nothing but this. The mother-in-law accused me of not liking music because I couldn't sit through The X Factor with her. Still debating where to put the body. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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