Depression

[Shotgun]

57 minutes ago, Unleash The Nade said:

The best post anyone’s ever written on P&B 

Agreed. It know it wasn't written directly to me but it might as well have been. Things have been more than usually rough this last few days and it helped just reading it. Thanks Stella.

[Shotgun]

Something else I wanted to share with all of you here who might be struggling right now.

I've always hated self-help books. Not sure why exactly but just the general wankiness of them annoys me. The few I've read usually have me shouting internally and I've rarely finished one. In fact, I often wonder if the authors have spent a single day in an office, or dealing with depression or even on planet earth. "That shit doesn't work in real life!" and so on. However, at the recommendation (OK, insistence) of a friend, I just got done reading Stephen Covey's "The 7 habits of highly effective people", from the late 80's. Yes, a lot of it's hokey but there are some gems among the cheese.

If you aren't familiar with it; these aren't rules he invented, simply ones he compiled after observing people who tend to function well in life. He gives examples and illustrations of how to put them into practice. The company I worked for used his methodology to train the sales and client management teams and there's some good stuff in there.

You can find a lot of the information on-line if you're interested in scoping it out.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

[Stellaboz]

Glad you got something from it, hopefully long term.

[Richey Edwards]

I have forgot to take my antidepressant two days in a row and cannot get it now until tomorrow when I finish work.

When I say "forgot to take it", I mean I ran out of my prescription two days ago and meant to go to the chemist to pick it up yesterday and today but just forgot to do so. Running out of antidepressants is not a great idea but this would have seemed like a catastrophe previously but I am feeling so good just now that it isn't really a big deal.

Anyway, due to registration issues (my registration lapsed during my last period of longterm sickness) I am currently temporarily working in the kitchen of my workplace and, despite expecting to hate every minute of it, I am really enjoying it to the extent that I am considering asking if I can stay there. It is a stress-free job, nobody gives you any hassle and you just get on with doing the job on your own and don't need to rely on (sometimes incompetent and negligent) other people.

I doubt they will let me stay but at worst they will say no.

[ayrmad]

2 hours ago, Shotgun said:

Something else I wanted to share with all of you here who might be struggling right now.

I've always hated self-help books. Not sure why exactly but just the general wankiness of them annoys me. The few I've read usually have me shouting internally and I've rarely finished one. In fact, I often wonder if the authors have spent a single day in an office, or dealing with depression or even on planet earth. "That shit doesn't work in real life!" and so on. However, at the recommendation (OK, insistence) of a friend, I just got done reading Stephen Covey's "The 7 habits of highly effective people", from the late 80's. Yes, a lot of it's hokey but there are some gems among the cheese.

If you aren't familiar with it; these aren't rules he invented, simply ones he compiled after observing people who tend to function well in life. He gives examples and illustrations of how to put them into practice. The company I worked for used his methodology to train the sales and client management teams and there's some good stuff in there.

You can find a lot of the information on-line if you're interested in scoping it out.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I've read a lot of books to improve things about myself or become far more informed about subjects that float my boat at the time, they all have parts that were meaningless to myself at the time of reading, I don't bother about that as I only need to find the line or paragraph that flicks the light bulb on.

 

[Iminavest]

Had a couple of decent days over the past couple of months, not euphorically happy or anything, amongst the usual mundane nothingness. Followed by a day of feeling down to the point of tears then just numb.

[welshbairn]

36 minutes ago, Iminavest said:

Had a couple of decent days over the past couple of months, not euphorically happy or anything, amongst the usual mundane nothingness. Followed by a day of feeling down to the point of tears then just numb.

I've probably lived longer than you, but have accepted mild melancholy as an achievable and preservable state. The expectations of happiness are torture and a false goal imposed by society, films and tv, especially when you're young. A bit of numbness is useful imo, keeps an outside perspective on your mood swings. Stay strong and remember nothing lasts forever. Not finding meaning in anything is rational, but it will go away when the endorphins kick back in and you start finding meaning in irrational stuff again. 

Edited March 7, 2018 by welshbairn

[Raidernation]

Well, amazingly, I seem to have found myself a girlfriend who’s sane, sensible and seems to like me a lot.
Considering how effed up I have been, how self destructive at times and how messy my life was it seems there can be happiness out there.
This is not a post to brag or show off, just an indicator that you can “come out the other side” and live

[Stellaboz]

This is ridiculous but I had a night to myself yesterday. Late afternoon yesterday I'm told I have a meeting to basically improve my work accuracy, which admittedly hasn't been 100% but there have been reasons and recently it's been almost there.
I'm easily vulnerable to mood swings and my confidence can easily take a pasting at the slightest thing. My mind took this as a huge stress and I ended up taking a couple of beers home, had a pizza to myself and ate some sugary rubbish whilst watching something I had planned to.
No biggy you might say but i feel like my body needs detoxed and feel the alcohol keeping my mood low, despite only being a couple.
I'm constantly feeling like I have to pick myself up from stresses, such as family problems back home or something happening at work which has been in my view a lack of training given to me. I also find myself thinking of my life back in Scotland and how more secure I felt in my job, yet I was missing my partner and there is no way I'd do long distance ever again now.

In the past I've been just shy of being properly diagnosed with mild bi polarism and to be honest, that doesn't bother me because I've always felt like I need to hit a low point to reach up again, even from a young age. I also feel scared to feel really happy for a length of time and I find myself dragged back into a passive state at times to avoid a huge drop in my mood, or because I'm scared of that drop.
I'm sort of rambling on but I thought it would help to actually get this stuff out in words and again, maybe someone else feels the same and finds help reading it somehow.

[DA Baracus]

I'm a bit pished but feeling not so bad. However I feel like I'm forcing down the fact that I've been single for 7 years (and the loneliness often feels overwhelming, sometimes to the point that I feel physically ill and want to die)

[Bairnardo]

9 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

I'm a bit pished but feeling not so bad. However I feel like I'm forcing down the fact that I've been single for 7 years (and the loneliness often feels overwhelming, sometimes to the point that I feel physically ill and want to die)

Bit pished is alright. Don't go getting arseholed tonight mate.

[DA Baracus]

19 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Bit pished is alright. Don't go getting arseholed tonight mate.

Nah not drank for a few hours. Still though feeling melancholy though. Have fucked up everything and feel like I'm running out of time. Just numb and feel suicidal top often (even though it must be circa 2% of the time) and have nothing going for me. Bought a birthday cake the other day and are half of it but threw the other half out. I'm rambling. A sleep will be good and I'll be fine in the morning

[DA Baracus]

Note to self; stop posting drunken rambling pish!

[ayrmad]

Just now, DA Baracus said:

Note to self; stop posting drunken rambling pish!

Personally, I wouldn't be drinking in your circumstance, you appear to be putting yourself in a dangerous situation everytime you're on the bevvy.

[DA Baracus]

1 minute ago, ayrmad said:

Personally, I wouldn't be drinking in your circumstance, you appear to be putting yourself in a dangerous situation everytime you're on the bevvy.

Aye I need to cut it out for a bit

[NJ2]

Better sometimes out than in though, DA. I’m interested in what you mean by running out of time - for what? Brace yourself for some utter shite, but I try not to look at life as race to milestones, just try and enjoy it when you can...admittedly difficult for a Pars fan.

[Stellaboz]

You've not gone as far as last time, for that be proud and a step in the right direction. Next time, save me some cake ffs.

[D.A.F.C]

Glad I gave up booze this year, already feel much better generally. Not saying I won't have a pint with a meal again but it's just not something I enjoy anymore. Have pretty much sorted out the issues with neighbours and learning to just ignore idiots at work or wherever. You can't expect everyone to be nice all the time and some people are dicks, utter fucking dickheads. It's how you react that controls it rather than letting them control you.

I don't  think I've had full blown depression but like DA I do feel isolated at times but have filled my life with things I enjoy and I'm into fitness again and hopefully having an easy outgoing interesting personality will help attract decent people. I did find having a group of negative dysfunctional friends can be worse for you tbh. It was just one way and based on getting wrecked all the time. 

Its easy to say but instead of wasting money on drink join a gym or even better take up a teamsport. Scotland is fucking shit with its hard man drinking culture, there's nothing macho about it.

[Shandon Par]

27 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Glad I gave up booze this year, already feel much better generally. Not saying I won't have a pint with a meal again but it's just not something I enjoy anymore. Have pretty much sorted out the issues with neighbours and learning to just ignore idiots at work or wherever. You can't expect everyone to be nice all the time and some people are dicks, utter fucking dickheads. It's how you react that controls it rather than letting them control you.

I don't  think I've had full blown depression but like DA I do feel isolated at times but have filled my life with things I enjoy and I'm into fitness again and hopefully having an easy outgoing interesting personality will help attract decent people. I did find having a group of negative dysfunctional friends can be worse for you tbh. It was just one way and based on getting wrecked all the time. 

Its easy to say but instead of wasting money on drink join a gym or even better take up a teamsport. Scotland is fucking shit with its hard man drinking culture, there's nothing macho about it.

Good stuff - just look at how much less aggro you get into in all the Pars threads (though our season being deathly boring probably helps). You can’t control the behaviour of others so you seem to have adjusted your outlook to give yourself a more peaceful existence. 

[D.A.F.C]

Thanks, I agree I am much more chilled. I was always trying to prove something or have a go about stuff. 

Learning to separate myself and avoid bad situations and not see everything as dark and against me is a step forward. It's very easy to let a bad situation drag you down. You need to fight it but not head on, sometimes walking away and letting others see it doesn't bother you shows real strength. Being in a constant cycle or boozing to forget then handover then Monday blues is shite. Giving up booze is much easier.